How to Childproof Your TV ( the Jefferson County way ) in Three Easy Steps

1. Break a CD jewel case in half.

2. Line it up over your tv buttons.

3. Use a 1/2 roll of scotch tape to affix it.

*voila!*

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That's the Night When the TV Went Out at the Perrys

I really try to monitor & limit the amount of time the kids (primarily Flynn, as Gabe is just a "social" watcher) watch tv and movies. But, we have a lot of rituals around here and watching a short 30-minute movie at bedtime is one of them.

And who am I kidding... I feel sorry for myself if I can't watch a 30-minute episode of something other than silly singing or star catching. For example, my evening is complete if I end it with an episode of CSI watched from Charlie's old recliner.

I was ending a conversation with Kim from church, who I was talking to for the first time since she had Baby Riley last Thursday. We were talking poop, boobs & bilirubin (sp?) levels when Flynn started asking for it (a movie, not a spanking...well...I guess both ;) So, with phone on shoulder, I pick up the remote & click power. That's when some weird poltergeist lines showed up. Then I hear something resembling a motor. Honestly, since my brain is no longer able to multitask, I didn't give it much thought, as my attention was with my phone conversation (there's a reason to not talk on the phone & bathe children simultaneously!). So, I just walked away until a few minutes later when bedtime routine was starting up.
"I want to watch babies!"

So I turned on the tv... same weird lines, vertical strips of picture, shaded with a green. So I hit 'game' (the button to push to take you to a movie). That's when I heard a really loud motor/electricity/ball at the Magic House sound.
And then the smell. Like burnt skin. And it scared me, because here sat my children in front of it.

So I grabbed them up -- one in each arm (you can do that when their total weight is under 60 lbs) & I paged Jeff who was in the garage drilling a luggage rack into our minivan. I paged him I said...paged him, meaning jumped up & down on the floor...with all my weight (which is a lot) & all the while screaming, "JEFF! JEFF! JEFF!" Even Flynn yelled, "Jeff!"

When I heard him come in, I yelled, "The tv's smoking!" He ran up & as he unplugged it & tried to hoist its mightiness down our steps, I ran out the back with the kids until the stench cleared.

When the dust settled, we sat there on the couch like we were grieving. Flynn must've asked for a movie seventeen hundred bazillion times. Then I thought, 'What's become of us? That we're so dependent upon the tv.' And then my words came to haunt me...I remember telling friends (usually those who shared my feelings about the evils of television), "Sometimes I wish I could just throw it out the window."

Sometimes wishes do come true.

Until we're out of debt & making more than we owe each month, we're using the 'littler' tv (the one Jeff used to escape downstairs to play ps2 on). And, the littler one is EASIER for Gabe to turn on/off and to turn the volume up to dog whistle decibels.

Maybe in absence of our daily (or hourly?) media fix, I'll teach the kids how to knit, can jelly and play soliataire.

You say Party, I say Potty

We pulled off the 60th party for my mom Sunday. She had almost as many people there as we did our wedding! A lot of friends & of course, the Simpsons do it up right with a TON of food. I've never had to put on a shindig w/o the help of my mom...so, needless to say, I'm still exhausted today. My mom has never had a party in her honor; no big wedding, no graduation party, no milestone parties, so a party for her was long overdue. It's not technically her b'day for another week or so, but I'm afraid that day (we'll be getting ready to leave for 'cation) I'll be too busy to post a shout out to her. SO...Mom, Happy Birthday. Thank you for spending the better part of 60 years sacrificing & taking good care of us.

My kids' highlights of Nana's big day? Riding Jack, the Norris horse. When Gabe saw Uncle Dan galloping up, he spit out his binky & squealed. He took a ride around, then when returned to me, I reached up to get him. He was so mad, he did the back arch & threw his head back...looked at Dan, as if to say, "Take him around again, before she gets me!" So, he got his way. Flynn loved it almost as much, as Cousin Mo was her chauffeur.

Now...onto the Potty part of this entry. And I hesitated even sharing this as it makes me look like a horrible neglectful mom & makes Jeff look like a gross, sloppy careless Dad (he's not gross or careless usually).

I was busy doing something with Flynn. Honestly, I don't remember, being that I give her about 70% of my time each day (squeaky wheel). Could've been an art project, could've been facilitating a temper tantrum or enforcing time out. Who knows, not the point.

I did see Gabe heading down the hall to our bedroom....but didn't think twice about it as I keep it childproof. However, Jeff did not shut his bathroom...
nor did he close the toilet lid...
NOR DID HE FLUSH.

After about 30 seconds of him out of my view, I went to check on him. As I rounded the corner & saw Jeff's bathroom door open, I thought, "Eww, gross, that floor is always nasty." (since it's HIS bathroom, I quit nagging him to clean it & just warn anyone wanting to use it) BUT, that was NOT the nasty part.
When I approach the bathroom, that's when I see it....
what has became #1 on the nastiest things I've seen as a parent...
Gabe playing in his dad's urine.

Now you see why I almost didn't share it.

Then I called my doctor to up my dosage of my blood pressure medication

My Tomboy has gone Princess

I guess I knew it was just a matter of time... until all those soccer balls & trucks that dominate the toyboxes, would be passed up for things like gawdy crowns & fake plastic earrings.

Then it happened, just today as a matter of fact.

In my desperation to get Flynn to go "# 2" on the potty, I decided bribery was in order. So I started giving her poopy presents. My MIL, who loves to buy her g'kids dollar store stuff, jumped on my bribery bandwagon. She had a bag with a musical triangle, chalk board with chalk & some sidewalk chalk... you know?, AWESOME tacky kid stuff. But what does she choose...among all the aforementioned stuff? You guessed it. The cheesy crown & jewelry set.

I see shopping trips in my future. Lord help me.

Flynn's Summer Timeline

Anytime Flynn knows an event is coming up, she talks about it.

A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot.

And everytime we're putting on our shoes or leaving, she's sure that's where we're going.

So, when we told her that Nana's birthday party was coming up, you can imagine how that became the new topic of discussion, as she LOVES parties.

She also knows that vacation (or as she fondly refers to it, "the ocean") is coming up. And she also knows that Bubby is going to be one soon & that we're having a party for him.

This girl is so clever that she herself, put the events in order. One day she said, "First it's Nana's birthday party, then it's 'cation, then it's Bubby's birthday." I thought, 'Is this girl smart, or is she smart?' Then she started putting other people's birthdays into the mix. All of a sudden, all the cousins had August birthdays, sandwiched between Nana's birthday & Bubby's birthday.

So I decided a timeline was in order. She enjoyed doing this this morning. As she is the QUEEN of art projects.

Noodles & Co

New FAVORITE restaurant.

The really great thing about when a restaurant is opening, is their insistant desire to please you. Either that, or these people really are serious about allergies.

A few weeks ago, when we got Bubby's picture taken at the mall (for our free 8x10 depicting him at age 10 mos), there was someone passing out coupons for the new restaurant at South County Mall (don't expect to get to it IN the mall as it has an OUTSIDE entrance). So, how could we resist, as the only way we're able to eat at a restaurant is by the use of coupons (or being treated by some kind individual).

While waiting in line to order, we heard a manager behind us, so Jeff gave him the schpeal: "Our daughter has a severe allergy to cow's milk protein", blah, blah, blah. So, he surprised us w/ his response, "We use an area just for preparation of that. With a clean pan & new utensils.

We're SO over hearing reactions like, "I'm not sure." "I can't guarantee you anything." "Sorry." I COULD PUKE. No one in this day in age is willing to go out on a limb to assure a pleasant eating experience if they're afraid to be sued. So, you can imagine, that eating outside of our home, is nothing but a chore for us.

Go to the website above (click on the title) & sign up for their e-newsletter. You'll get a free coupon (BOGOF) & regular coupons for your b'day, etc. It's comparable to St Louis Bread Co. (which by the way, is almost finished in Festus) in the ordering style & the style of the food. I like the taste better at Noodles, but that's my humble opinion. I always get the Penne Rosa w/ chicken as my protein & caesar as my salad. Jeff always goes w/ Jap Pan noodles w/ shrimp as his protein. YUMMY. I think you'll enjoy it.

Have a fun weekend.

I Can Only Imagine

Our dear friend Shawn, lost her dad this morning. He had been fighting ALS (lou gehrig's) & PSP (http://www.psprecognition.com/).

My immediate reaction was to cry, "We're too young for one of us to lose a dad." But that's selfish, he went through a lot the last two years...probably worst of which included his loss of independence.

My memory of Les is of his quiet wit. When I close my eyes & imagine him, I have memories of how gentle & loving he was with Alex. They always hosted our friend get togethers, as they had the largest house & a basement full of fun.

Our prayers are with Sandi & Shawn & Jay. We love you guys.

The strange thing is that I thought of Les all morning. And I watched this video this morning. You really want to see this video BUT have kleenex nearby.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg&feature=RecentlyWatched&page=1&t=t&f=b

Walky Walkerson's Sister

One of the cutest things about Gabe's new walking ability, is Flynn wanting us to watch her walk. Really, really bad.

"Wook at ME, watch ME walk!!"

And so, because we're equally as comical & bizarre, we say, "Come on baby girl, walk to mommy, walk to daddy, you can do it!" Just like we do with Gabe. And when she "makes it" to us, we praise her regressive efforts, "Yay! You did it! You're such a big girl!!"

The funniest thing about all of it, is that she pretends that she's walking for the first time. Her legs become stiff & unsteady & she takes one step at a time with an uncertainty that I almost think she believes herself. Her arms are out, as to balance herself; and it makes me wonder, 'Did she learn this from Gabe or does she almost remember this from two years ago?'

Walky Walkerson

Sniff-sniff. The end of an era. My prideful Mama side makes way to a sad Mommy who knows her little baby is growin' up.

Just after his 10-month mark, little Baby Gabe decided to put on his walking feet. Remember how you were with your first one? You practiced things. You gave opportunities. You took tons of pictures. Then #2 comes along & you feel like you barely have time to be sure the neck cheese is washed off every night. And all of a sudden, all these milestones & phases are flying by.... like you're on a bus & you're yelling for the driver to slow down, but he doesn't. You look out your window & things are going by so fast that it seems blurry.

Gabe does things before I even know to look for them. Sure, I know all the developmental stuff, but my baby's growing up.

He's been standing alone for a while now. And holds onto things & lifts his leg (particularly during the Wiggles marching... don't tell Daddy I added that part). So last weekend I thought, "Hmm, maybe I should see what he does when I put him up into the walker stance."

I kid you not, he walked. Just like that. First opportunity & he took it.

And he hasn't stopped. Today he tripped over Daddy's leg & just kept going 'til he crashed onto Daddy's chest.

I saw somewhat of a cheesy movie around the holidays. In this movie, the girl character (I think played by Kirstin Dunst), kept taking her hands, making them square like a camera, holding them up to her eyes & making a clicky-flash noise with her mouth. As if she were taking pictures with an "air camera" (as opposed to an air guitar). The point she was making was that she was taking a mental picture. Snap-shotting that given moment in time.

Gosh, I wish I could do that. And I'd be taking them all day long. Like tonight when Flynn tried to put a diaper on her doll, then asked me to help (because the diaper was like 16 times bigger than the doll). Or when Jeff made her shampoo-y hair into a horn. Or when Gabe finally found his binky & sucked it like an old friends' reunion. Or when Flynn asked me to tell her a story about an elephant.

I've always had the sharpest memory. Jeff hates that about me sometimes... he can never correct me on recall.

My prayer is that I always have that memory. That I'll always remember these times.

For the Love of Uncle Sam, Knock it Off Already

Okay, today is July 6th....July 6th, not July 4th or even the weekend before. Let it go. Knock off the celebration already.

In other words, if you have leftover fireworks, you do not still have the greenlight to let them off in my subdivision at 10 pm while my children are trying to sleep.

The irony is, that the family who kicked up the festivities last night around 9ish, aren't even american. Well, HE's not, he's not a citizen. But I guess since he's enjoying all our freedoms, he's got reason to celebrate.

That's fine..........just don't celebrate while my kids are sleeping.

Independence Day

Happy Fourth!

We had a fun time Saturday, at my Aunt Christine's annual Fourth bash. These people are SERIOUS about the fireworks & honestly put the VP Fair (am I aging myself by calling it that?) to shame. Not to mention, we sit on the hillside, or rather, lay on the hillside...right by the lake. The beautiful fireworks are set off above us.

Gabe slept through them. And Flynn requested her brother's sunglasses (she's really into protective eyewear & UV protection right now). As you can see in the picture below, where she took a fashionable break here.

And not pictured, are her toes, which I thematically painted red. YES, I painted them red. Me, the one who said I would NOT paint my little girl's toes or pierce her ears. I still won't pierce her ears ('til she's like 13), but the toes... just too darn cute when they're painted.

I sang a little karaoke while Flynn got in front of me & shook it for all she's worth. This girl could win a contest for bootie shakin'.

She's THAT GOOD.

We also got a glimpse into our road trip future. As Flynn wailed most of the two hour trip home. O Lord, what are we going to do with the 14 hr trip to PCB, FL? I believe I ?'ed in an earlier blog about the ethics of drugging your children for a stupid-long car ride. But no one responded. People, it was not a rhetorical question.

Yesterday morning, after getting about 2 quality hours of sleep, I have to admit... I groaned (INSIDE my head) at the thought of getting up & going to church & teaching kids. But it didn't take long (especially after seeing the kids in their adorable outfits...pictured below) 'til I remembered how lucky we are. We get to wake up on a Sunday & go to church. A church of our own choosing & worship the way WE choose. Worship OUR God. And while we're at that particular church of our own choosing, we don't have to fear that someone might bust in with guns. Or that the government will find out & imprison us. We have that freedom. A freedom we quite often advantage of. I'm thankful. Thankful to God and to our soldiers and to live in a country with that freedom & so many others. I could've been born in any other country, but God chose this as my home. And I'm so glad.

**Happy Birthday America**