I'm Already Playing the Mom Card

Flynn has been "exerting her independence" & "displaying her vocabulary"... all code names for BEING A STINKER.
So, after a pretty tough day yesterday, I woke up thinking, "This is the day that the Lord has made... Flynn will not be bad today..." Then I tried to get her dressed.
This is something new I'm trying.. giving her a choice in the matter; hoping that will get her on my team --- "TEAM GET-DRESSED."
But, her bed has two sides: Bad side & Bad side. And today, like the other days this week, Flynn woke up on the, you guessed it, bad side of her bed.
So, she was sassing & saying things like, "NO, Me Do!" And choosing a new shirt that Gammy recently bought her, which sported these fabulous stickers that said, 2T & Faded Glory & $3.50 STRETCH, she wanted the stickers OFF before putting on the shirt. I suggested we put the shirt ON, then pull the stickers off. I JUST DO NOT HAVE TIME to do things exactly as she WANTS. I have two other people (not counting myself) who need to eat & get poopy diapers taken off of them, etc. And Lord forbid that anyone else gets attention.
Anyway, it started her rampage, the stomping & screaming & all the other things that you HEAR two year olds do (but just assume that it'll never be like that).
That's when I did it.
I played the mom card.
And when it was coming out of my mouth, I had a flashback to the Cosby show & I swear all of a sudden my voice was Felicia Rashad's voice.
I was Claire Hucstable.
"You will NOT talk to me like that. I am your mom. You won't treat me like this. I went through a LOT of trouble to bring you into this world."
Which everyone knows, that's the truth.
But Flynn doesn't know that I was on a trimester of bedrest, ate a special diet, went to the doctor weekly, almost died, had my stomach cut open with not so much as a warning... oh yeah & nearly died again.
Nor does she care.
She just wants the stickers off her shirt before she puts it on.

TUESDAY's TOP TEN LIST

Top Ten Things I love to see my babies doing....
10. Smiling
9. Waving (Gabe's SO good at it)
8. Clapping their hands (even Gabe can clap the beat)
7. Praying
6. Singing
5. Sleeping (so angelic, they LOOK like they'd never do wrong)
4. Laughing at each other so hard they hiccup
3. Kissing Each Other (w/ Flynn, I have to be sure her
mouth is closed & her teeth are PUT away)
2. Saying DADA (Gabe's SO good at it right now)
1. DANCING the night away...

Which brings me to these fabulous photos of John & Melissa's wedding/reception. We had lots of fun... and I could NOT be more proud that two great people that I FINALLY decided to introduce, have joined in HOLY MATRIMONY. HOLY COW!!
Flynn ran to the dance floor as soon as the music started & we had to carry her off. She's GOOD!
Enjoy the photos & enjoy your day.

SuperNanny...WHERE ARE YOU???

Supernanny has nothing on this fam.

I searched the internet for answers. But nothing came up when I searched, "kids who bloody their baby brothers' noses." But I did fine a pretty good article on spirited children.

After "transferring" Flynn to her room like a bajillion times...and losing count of spankings, I had JUST HAD IT. I look at her big dark eyes & say, "WHY FLynn??? WHY?" & she just looks at me. Which angers me more. At can you believe that the thought actually crossed thru my mind to say, "If you don't stop, Mommy's going bye bye." CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??? You know, those horrible things that go from our temper, to our brain, to our mouth.
Then God whispered...Okay, HE SHOUTED, "How can you make reference to UNconditional love, when I've loved you despite all you've done?"
Yipes, that's a lot He's loved me despite.

It's kinda like the story in the bible. This man who owes another person A TON, has the nerve to want the head of some guy who owes him like a quarter. The kicker is... HIS loaner wiped out his debt! And he's still hung up about the quarter.

Perhaps it's a poor example. Flynn's not my debtor. But I think you get the jest.

And... it's calmed ME down for a few hours.

WELL,
at least through nap.

Easter Delight

It doesn't get much better than this. Having two handsomely dressed kiddos.

We had such a lovely Easter. By the third egg hunt, Flynn was a pro. Jeff noticed she realized that it was quicker if she picks up SEVERAL then deposit them in the basket, rather than one at a time. Hannah tutored Flynn at Nana's Easter Eve egg hunt & gave her a base for her newfound egg hunting talents and skills.

And I don't think she even realizes that all her candy disappeared. The only thing she ate was peeps. But she was just too BUSY. And so was Gabe. He loves GETTING DOWN now & playing, like a "big kid."

His Papa is nuts about his boy. Proof evidenced by this photo where Papa yelled, "Get a picture of this." Only Papa would find a 7-mo old standing on a rock to be phenomenal.

Gabe of course missed out on the egg hunt this year, but you can bet that next year he'll be giving everyone some competition. And might very well be taller than everyone.

Our very busy day started bright & early at 9:30 with an Easter service at Eagle Point. After church, there was a really great egg hunt on the field at Seckman. This is where Flynn demonstrated some fine tune egg maneuvering. With her gorgeous attire and her very suave Barbie egg pale, she was the picture of Easter beauty.


Of course I made an all-time unwise parental decision & let her get her face painted.... a white and RED cross, which bled on her dress (which I paid more for that I do my own clothes)...and now I can not get the spots out.
(I'll gladly accept any laundering advice)

After our fun at church, we made our way to "Easter in the Park", put on by Spirit of St. Louis Church. And of course, "a good time was had by all." There were several things for us to do. Jeff (my third child) had a great time w/ all the inflatables. There was good food. An egg hunt for both kids and adults. And, Jeff's inflatables of course.

Our day ended at Stef's with more good food and Flynn's head full of Conner's new blue sand in his sandbox.

We were gone like 10 hours and gees, was I pooped!

Oh yeah, from Flynn, "Happy Easter, Jesus lives!!"

Poops n Grins

That's what I should've named this blog. I'm getting Gabe ready for his a.m. nap. So I get in the recliner & start nursing him. That's when Flynn decides that for the 2nd time in 10 minutes, she'd take her pants & diaper off. Gabe is highly distractable, so I dare not stop nursing him, then reattempt another nursing session to nap. So, I "yell quietly" (oxymoron?), "put your diaper back on, right now." Yet another example of my fine empty threats I've been known to make from my nursing nook. She knows I'm not getting up, I know I'm not, Gabe knows it.
So she tools around the kitchen, barebutted, looking out windows. A few minutes goes by & Gabe's starting to drift off & that's when I hear it, "Wook (look) mom! Wook what I have!" That's when I see it...
A big mushy, made-by-a-two-year-old-who-should-be-potty-trained, turd.
Happy Monday.

Our Two at the Zoo

In the spirit of Easter break (& in celebration of our GORGEOUS weather), we took our little monkeys to the zoo. If I've learned anything with Flynn, it's to NOT give her too advance of a notice. In other words, only a one-day's notice. So, yesterday, when I told her where we were planning a trip to, she squealed, "OH!, the zoo! We'll see zebras & hippos."
Oh wow, this kid's a genius.
"And dogs. And doves."
Well, I'm her mom... I still think she's a genius.
We planned to leave at the crack of dawn, but I was not moving so fast at 7 this morning, so we left like an hr after our ETD. So when we got to our beloved zoo, the "free time" for the childrens' zoo was almost over. We had 10 mins to get from our car which was parked wwwwwwwwwway far away into the zoo & to the C.Z.
So I hauled my large rear & worked my 3-ft legs. Jeff said, "wow honey, you are going really F A S T." I reminded him that I'm always inspired when it comes to something free.
A funny thing happened at River's Edge (where the hippos are)...there is an area that is cave-like. Hords of people were crowding at the glass to see the hippos and I believe some kind of otter. I was disgusted becuz some older man sat there RIGHT AMIDST the tons of kids (in this closed in area) & lit up his cig. This ticked both of us off...particularly becuz I was upwind from him w/ Gabe wheeled up to the glass (while he admired the fish). Jeff really got mad when he caught wiff. We were standing together, but I decided to take Gabe & go up further away from the smokestack. But Jeff didn't realize I had left. He turned his voice to the lady next to him (thinking it was me) & said, "How would he like it if I went over & pooped in his lap?!" He looked up just in time to see her look at him & hurridly rush her children away.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

Peter Cottontail Never Looked So Hot

Is this the cutest darn bunny you've ever laid eyes on?! I have yet to find such a sweet bunny... well, last year I saw a cute one named Flynn - donning these same ears.
Last night I was looking at the online calendar for the library, checking story times. I noticed that last Sat. (altho when I saw it, I was thinking it was THIS Sat.) they had the Easter Bunny at the library for photos w/ the kids. So I yelled into the kitchen & told Jeff, "They've got the Easter Bunny there Saturday at 10 am...do we have anything going on at that time?"
Flynn turns around & says as clear as she's ever spoken..........

"I DO NOT LIKE HIM."

The Cheese Stands Alone

"Cuss! Cuss! Here comes the bus!"

These words could be heard shouted in unison as we first spied the big cheese through the trees. Jeremy, Jeanette, Jackie, myself & whoever was standing with us at the bus stop. Gees, isn't riding the bus one of the most torturous activities? I can remember the feeling of car sick - or er, bus sick as that puppy sailed over the hills and through the curves on Old State Rd. and Alt Rd.

And now, I'm lucky enough to have this view, on most afternoons.

Hallmark to Parents

If I were like Adam Sandlers' character in Mr. Deeds & wrote greeting cards as a hobby, I'd have a doozie in the works. It would be for the parentals in my life. And their constant bailing me out. It would go a little something like this:

(outside:) I guess you'll be my parents forever. (inside:) Thanks for taking care of me....over....and over....and over again.

Everytime I have one of my bajillion incidents I seem to have with medical marvel, the parents are always there. No matter what. So, thank you...I love you. If it wasn't for my mom calling into work on a (literal) moment's notice as Jeff was hauling my grey rear into the ER, it was for Papa whose wagon-pulling talents only compete with his ability to draw the best monkeys & boats. Or Gammy's (spelled correctly!) willingness to spend an entire hour with screaming barefoot toddlers so that Flynn didn't miss gymnastics. As I'm sure everyone does, with age I've come to realize that I spent the better part of 30 years underappreciating the 2 people who would've given anything to keep me healthy & happy -- with NIKEs on my feet. My mom is like the hardest working woman I know, who has spent the last 7 days washing Jeff's bottomless dirty laundry basket. She's one of those people who never tries to go noticed, but should. My dad, I'm certain, was put on earth to be a model grandfather -- or um, Papa -- to new grandfathers who don't know how. When around people under five, he loses regular adult vocabulary & only knows how to giggle incessantly and use words like sugar, darlin' & "Papa's Here." He's known by his truck and his cap. Even Alex loves Papa & looks fwd to his visits.

My hope is that when Flynn is given an assignment, "Write about a woman who you feel is a role model", that she'll think of me with the same strength & respect as we do of our parents.

I love you guys and my words can never reflect my appreciation. May we, along with our children, be blessed with many more of your years.

CryptoSporidium, My New SuperHero Name

To infinity & beyond... OR to the hospital for 4 days.

Can I write my book yet? The one called Pure Luck or Dumb Luck or something like that. One thing's for sure, I'll never run out of great conversation topics. I'll be that annoying person you sit by on a plane, you know, the one who's "Had" everything. Right down to the very rare parasite.

When I collapsed on the bathroom floor Thursday morning & Jeff took me to Mo-Bap's ER, we just thought it was for dehydration. But I had told several of you, that I could swear that this wasn't just a virus! It hurt TOO BAD to be something that most people tough out. They said they'd keep me a night to get my levels back up. Then, when a gastro-intest. doc had a look at me, they realized this wasn't normal. My colin had something foreign in it. But they couldn't figure out what was wrong. At first they diagnosed me w/ something they called "C Bac" which is caused by antibiotics (Lord knows I've taken enough of them in the last year). I was put on "Contact" which meant ANYONE walking thru the door of my room was to 'suit up' w/ robes, gloves, etc. Made for a good science fiction movie. They just had a slight hesitation about this diagnosis becuz I hadn't taken an antibiotic in the last few mos.

Later, through a, um, er, stool sample, they realized that this was not c bac, but yet a PARASITE. Literally a bug. Gross, yuck, sick me out.

Cryptosporidium is a waterborn parasite. Usually ingested through river water. Sometimes in well water. And can be transferred through feces.

So, I either got this thing by my trip last week to India, where I guzzled down gallons of their water or when I was white water rafting with Gabe in the back of the boat.

Actually, I had to have either drank this thing in some water or ate at a restaurant where it was passed to me on my food through feces. Gross.
Makes you think twice about eating out, doesn't it?

First I was so super aggravated. I've never claimed to keep an immaculate house, but one thing I obsess about is hand washing. And when we're out, I slather the antibacterial gel on me & the kids.
You should've heard the drs questioning me. Have you traveled outside of the country? No. Have you been hiking or camping in the last two weeks? No. Have you drank from a well lately? No.
I was thinking, let me explain it this way: I could not possibly 'get out' less. I should've told them to read my blog.

I had an iV for several days. And each night I enjoyed a shot in my stomach. I got to go for my first night away from Gabe & instead of him being 1 1/2 years old & Jeff & I going to Hawaii, he was only 7 mos, still nursing & I was laying in a hospital bed crying (instead of sleeping in a over-the-water Maui bungalow).

We were frustrated. Here I was for a few days, laying in a hospital bed having NO clue what was wrong w/ me. Away from the babies I rarely leave, and when I do, only briefly. Wondering. Forced to worry & think the worst.
Jeff left me his iPod. And I remember one morning, putting them on & cranking up Casting Crown's Who Am I. I looked up at the ceiling & felt God's warmth on my face. My eyes were streaming hot tears & I tried to remember that even as small as I am, with needs so much smaller than most people's, that a huge God cares, looks on me w/ Love & reminds me (just like a good parent) that I am taken care of.
The rest of my time there, esp before I saw an end in sight, I tried to hold on to that feeling.

My babies survived w/o me. My Mama's Boy is no longer a Mama's Boy (according to Dad, he's more of a Papa's Boy). He also likes formula, which is a relief (considering he didn't have a choice) since I couldn't pump as much as he drank. Flynn of course saw this as a big spring break. She flitted around the countryside. Family of course came to the rescue once again. And Jeff, God bless him, ran things almost as I would have.

So, now my job is to rest & get my strength back.

You can bet one thing: For a long time, I'm going to appreciate sitting down playing with Flynn or tucking Gabe in at night. I'm going to love the feeling of laying down in MY bed next to the love of my life.

And...
I'm not going to drink the water in Mexico.

Pain is Overrated

I remember when I was about 5 years old... I had gotten a kids' meal (or a 70's-equivalent thereof) at Jack in the Box (yes, my love affair w/ J & B goes back that far).
So, as I ate my taco (or 6), I read the comic included w/ the meal. It was the Jack w/ some odd friends. A boy had fallen off his bike & Jack was consoling him, his injuries & his pain. Jack was talking about how PAIN IN GOOD & it tells us when there's something wrong w/ our body. PAIN IS GOOD? hogwash
I just spent my entire weekend up to & including the present in the worst intense pain I've ever experienced. Yep, worse than the gynormous Mars-sized kidney stones I passed in August; yep, worse than Gabe's big noggen passing thru & worse than my gall stones & the removal of them and their bladder.
No, I wasn't in an accident. Didn't have my arm lopped off or shoot a nail thru my eye w/ a nailgun. Supposedly I have a nasty virus. I've pooped a good 75+ times. And have stomach pains that feel like a dull tetnused fork is being driven through & twisted in my inners.
So what would've been a fun Friday evening & Saturday sans Flynn who was at Nana's, I've gotten to only be romantic with the Porcelain Prince. If my vision was blurred by the nauseating pain, I could've easily caught up on the magazines I didn't read at my gum-deal. Missed church yesterday, for like the 5th Sunday in a row. And missed ALL SORTS OF FOOD.
Now I just need to lose like 20 lbs more in the next month, before John & Melissa's wedding. Hopefully, my current loss of 7-ish pounds (thx to nothing but a cracker here & a banana there the last 3 days) will have rid me of the devilish pack of hot dogs on my naked back in their wedding.
Jeff got to play Mr Mom all weekend while I worked my magic in the john & rolled in pain in the bedroom floor. Yesterday, I exhausted all modes of medical attention, as I was told different things from different people who ultimately wanted to admit me for a catsan & ultrasound. Um, no thanks. They were worried about my appendix. Only one organ a year please.

Password: BIG BOY, BIG BOY

Have you seen that commercial, the one where the poor geeky man is determined to get through to his credit card company, but is detoured by a number of questions, prompts & password requests? They ask him, where at this point he's in a train of crowded people, what his password is. He shamefully & meekly says, "BIG BOY" but of course the automated voice doesn't pick it up & he's forced to repeat it.

That commercial kills me.

Anyway, my BIG BOY got his big boy, 1/2 year pictures taken. Please check them out. The one we chose as our FREE 8X10 is the first pose, where he's sitting up & holding his shoe. Those are the very shoes that Heather gave me as a shower gift. I looked at those shoes & thought, Lord, it will be forever 'til he can wear these. And here we are... My baby is now my big boy.

Here's the link:
http://www.picturepeople.com/viewsharedalbum.aspx?SharedPictureGroupID=701063&ShareKey=33859a4cb4c14ec18ecdbe6e3126ed0d&EmailID=6e831d6149ae43e8b284a662daefb810

One Sock, Two Socks, Red Sock, Blue Socks

Just let me remind you of how often I leave the house. I'm practically homebound...a shut-in I tell you. About 1-2 times I leave these walls. And one of those is usually church. The other is usually a visit to Walgreens for my rebate-frenzy habit.
So imagine my delight when last night I got to travel to THE BIG CITY to do a research study on gum. That's right, I got $60 to chew different kinds of gum for 2.5 hrs. Not only was I being paid to get to chomp like a grazing cow, but I got to do a little magazine catch up between chaws.
All day long I planned my departure, the time, what I'd need to have done by then. Jeff would be literally walking in the door as I walked out. So I had to write notes on when whom ate last & who last pooped, etc.
I even put on a bra & fixed my hair in something other than a ponytail.
I got to talk to OTHER adults...people who are potty trained & didn't yell, "NO!" back to me. I got to go the bathroom alone, without someone watching me & saying, "Hold me Mommy...Where's my cup?"
I did my chewing & my question answering & when the timer went off, I happily collected my cash & went about my way.
BY THE WAY, IT'S FREEZING UP IN THE BIG CITY & THERE WAS SNOW ON THE GROUND!
On my drive home, I didn't have to hear one of Flynn's movies piping from the back of the van... I actually got to listen to the radio & sing to my heart's content.
When I got home, and found the disarray, I procratinated getting the house "Alex-ready" (clean for the 6:30 am arrival of our dear sweet Alex). So, I sat in my chair & checked e-mail. My legs were tired from sitting, so I stretched them out & propped my socked feet up on the arm of the couch.
That's when I saw them....
TWO
DIFFERENT
SOCKS.
One socks was tan the other very brown.
This would only be noticeable you say, to someone sitting there staring at them? You mean, like someone sitting behind me (more like 20 people) chewing gum & killing time... w/ nothing to look at, but other people (& their socks)?
Further reason I shouldn't leave the house more than twice per week.

Can You Hear Me Now?

That poor boy of mine... Ran a fever for days. First ear infection!! For either of them!! I was so shocked. And felt so bad. I never imagined.

How about the crazy weather? Happy...er...um...Spring? Lace up your snow boots Easter Bunny!

Jeff had his first game Monday (tournament) & WON 1 to nothing. Of course, what else would I expect from such an awesome coach?! The kids & I are re-adjusting to afternoons & evenings w/o him. We have Nov-Dec-Jan & part of Feb; some of May, all of June & July & some of August (not much) where he gets to come home straight after school. The other days we have to tough it out for 12 hrs w/o him. Only makes me appreciate all the help he gives me on a normal basis. He usually is Flynn's bath giver. It kills my back to bend over the tub. He always either does what needs to be done, or takes care of the kids while I do it. He rarely takes time for himself. Never does things like golf or out w/ the guys. Perhaps that's the way "it should be"... whatever the case, I appreciate it. I love you honey.

Please pray for the surviving kids from Fri nite's electricution. I've just found out that the surviving girl, Morgan Milfeld, is the daughter of Felix Milfeld, our beloved photographer. That hits close to home, so it's extra-upsetting to me. They're a pretty great family, I really hope she can pull out of this.

Love & warm wishes on this cold day.

No Chance for Cheese

First of all, just a quick reminder that my dear hubby is brilliant. He really is. Not in that pocket protector sense; but in that "I'll win Jeopardy someday" way.
Not so smart last night. Okay, at the risk of exposing us as one of those families that Oprah would help "get cleaned up", I'll share. Monday, I started smelling something. "Honey, there's a weird smell in the kids' rooms...smells musty or dead."
He still blames my senses as being overly sensitive thanks to my recent flux in hormones. I know better.
Tuesday, "still stinks...now, my bathroom reaks."
Wednesday, "I think there's a dead mouse in the heat ducts, cuz when the furnace kicks on, I could gag."
So, while I keep the kids occupied up here, he makes like Scheider on One Day at a Timehttp://www.tv.com/one-day-at-a-time/show/1317/summary.html white tee & everything. The only thing he was missing was that creepy skinny 'stache & a worn out tool belt...
Anywho, he's down there a long time & then I hear it. Surprised the lights didn't flicker. He screams & I hear lots of commotion & things falling down. Seems the mouse was found. Dead. Electricuted. Shocked -- just like Jeff; who FAILED to shut off circuits before picking around through LIVE wires to untangle our furry friend.
I reminded him to "please be more careful next time. there's no way I could afford these house payments if you die."
By the way, Jeff said poor mousie was severely electricuted with painful burns down his back. He leaves behind a wife, 65 children, 155 grandchildren, 114 siblings and is preceded in death by his parents and 700 siblings and cousins.

Flynn's Top Ten List

Flynn's Top Ten List:

Things I Do To Annoy My Mother

10. Sit on my brother's back, while he's working hard on his crawling skills

9. Get so close to the tv that my mom is sure I'll go blind

(even tho she knows that's just a myth)

8. Feed things to my brother... toys, food, my hand

7. Stand over my brother & let a glob of spit fall from my mouth to his head

6. Wait 'til my mom's nursing my brother, then choose something to do... something she would never let me do if she didn't have my brother latched on like take off my pants and my diaper, especially if it's poopy

5. Dump puzzles, especially the ones I can't put back together on my own

4. Throw entire plates of food (the messier the better) from my seat

3. Do a double turn swan dive from any given piece of furniture

2. Pee in the floor

AND THE #1 THING I DO TO ANNOY MOMMY...

1. Get lots of my snot on my finger, then wipe it on Gabe's head

Monkey is as Monkey Does (Nov 06) 

The Family (2 mos PG {pre-Gabe}) 

SAHM I Am (& happen to like eggs/ham)...

O Lordy! So excited to start this blog... have been wanting to for sometime now. I'm hoping that I'll be able to de-stress a bit & use writing as therapy (& humor for you when you read about Flynn sitting on Gabe & stuff).

Okay, we were just about swept up in last night's tornado. Everyone knows I'm a BIG giant scaredy-cat when it comes to storms... and I'm darn proud of that. It could possibly save my bacon someday (& the bacons of my peeps). We took a gander at the storm damage this morning... we were stir crazy after Flynn's 4-day stint w/ a fever (& I am nosey). It was completely surreal. As we & all the other nosey, snooper slow driver-byers did just that, it seemed wrong. Here were these people cleaning up their possessions, tossed EVERYwhere on hwy 61. HOWEVER, the family whom are alive becuz THE MOM SAID LET'S GET TO THE BASEMENT (thank you), have just the right idea about being the object of everyone's snoopiness. The first time, it wasn't there... but the 2nd, third & 4th times (okay, I'm obsessed) we drove by we saw a gynormous tarp hanging over the famous flying car (was picked up by twister & plopped down on what used to be the bedroom). This tarp/banner was an ad for I guess all the copters flying over. How funny is that? Thank God someone's cashing in on America's / Media's overexposure (for people like me)!!

I saw a commercial w/ Doogie Howser MD (for this new show he's on) & the 50-something times we saw this commercial, he was saying, "I'M SO GOING TO PUT THIS IN MY BLOG." So, I guess Doog inspired me. I'm going to be walking around saying that to the kids... "Flynn, get off Gabe, "I'M SO GOING TO PUT THIS IN MY BLOG.".... "Flynn quit wiping your snot on Gabe's head, "I'M SO GOING TO PUT THIS IN MY BLOG." These are true incidents...hence my need for this blog. Enjoy photos as soon as I post them & Peace Out to my homies.