Diagrams of Explanation (she takes after me)

A few mos ago, I comically illustrated a slight would-be-altercation between myself & some half-cocked lady in the Lowe's parking lot at the bluffs; wherein she blamed me for going back in time, leaving my car, turning a stop sign 90 degrees, so that when I went through the intersection later (in present time), I wouldn't have to stop.
"Somebody turned the sign!"
WHAT? REALLY?
Why not just accept blame by saying, "I didn't know you didn't have a stop sign, sorry."
But then again, that's what I get for stopping in the middle of the intersection & asking her why she honked & gestured.
Sheesh, it's almost like I'm an elementary teacher or something.

Anywho, to make the story more interesting later, when retelling it to my nieces, I sketched a little map to go along with my retelling. Complete with a cactus for Qdoba & a bulls eye for Target.
We laughed so hard that I magnet-ed it to the fridge.
And later texted it to my nieces so they could get just one more laugh out of it (because, you know, we're short on laughs in our family... /sarcasm).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

This morning, when my two littles forgot it was a holiday (the same way they forget every five days that it's a weekend) & came into our room (around 7'ish?), we sent them back out with a request to play quietly while Daddy & I (who did not forget it was a holiday) slept for mere minutes more.

It doesn't take long for some kind of disagreement to break out between my almost-Irish twins & this time, Flynn wanted to be sure that we knew E-X-A-C-T-L-Y what went down.

That is why she drew this:

to show Daddy & I, what transpired between her & her bubby.
COMPLETE with a brown vapor -- so that we could almost smell what she smelled.

And to this, I say,
the NUT doesn't fall far....

#it'sastoundingthatwe'reinchargeofchildren

Wow... I've never used a hash tag in lieu of a blog title before.

So, you may remember "Barbie Head" & all her antics. That little hooch wanted my husband & we both knew it. Only, she was far too stalker'ish. What, with her creepy ways of waiting for him in bed... and being in his car when he got in it in the morning, to go to work.

Enter: "Life-Size Barbie". She's 10 times the fun. But lots harder to transport.

LSB (let's abbreviate for the sake of time & keys) has waited outside of the bathroom while Jeff showers (picture her stiff arms propping her against his closed door... and sliding...slowly...toward him while he unknowingly swings said door open...by the way, her hair was fixed extra special that night, with a poof up front & some french rolls in back).
Picture her waiting in the dark laundry room for his 5:45 am departure for work.
And once Flynn got in on the action, LSB even joined us for dinner... although she wasn't a fan of the sweet potato fries or the zoo pals plate (much too unsophisticated for her liking).


So, LSB was hoping for something a little extra special tonight. And waited for Jeff in the shower, with baited breath. Flynn was in on the action & watched me prep LSB, with eyes as large as silver dollars.
I only wish I'd seen Jeff's reaction when he went into the bathroom to shower, and found this:It really is amazing that anyone takes me serious, ever. Also amazing?: that I've never been committed.