Questioning God

My whole life I heard people say not to question God. Don't doubt Him. Don't second-guess Him. And certainly never be mad at Him.

But sometimes I ask Him why...

A few days ago, a very close friend of my cousin & his family, lost her battle against cancer.
But not before she beat it several times. Each time she'd received healing, she never failed to give God His due honor. She was a true respresentative of a Christ-following Christian who could have turned bitter, but instead praised Him through each storm. She even began a ministry to be a support to those fighting illnesses.

She & her husband had one daughter who she was very close to. And that daughter was married this past summer.

When Laura got ill again last year, her daughter understandably wanted her mom to be present on this earth for her wedding, for the birth of her first child.

So, it's my understanding that they moved up their wedding, and even were successful in a honeymoon baby.
Who is due in just a few months.

Due to complications from a hospital stay, combined with cancer spreading through her body, Laura's family knew her days were numbered.
When it seemed that she would no doubt pass before the baby girl making her entrance to the world, all began to pray she could at least last until a 4-D could show her the baby she'd never meet.

We all prayed God would once again heal her. Another miracle so that she could at least rejoice in photos that would allow her to count toes, count fingers, see long baby eyelashes, & recognize a feature or two that she admired in her baby 20 or so years ago.

But it didn't happen. God decided not to heal her here on earth. Her life cut short in her forties.

And when I read the email, all I could do was cry. And feel slighted on her daughter's behalf.

"God why? Why couldn't You just leave her here just a few more months??"

And I thought about it the next day, and today...

Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

So, what does that mean?

I'm a teacher. And there's nothing I think about, ponder on, that I don't try to understand. And just as I used to do with ALL the content I taught my students, I apply it. And as I liken everything to real life, I usually liken the words & promises spoken by our father, to my life as a parent.

And I thought about the countless times I have asked my kids to do something, taken something from them, forced them to do something... against their will, against their pleading. Because I wanted to be a mean mom?
Of course not.
But because I know the bigger picture. I know what's best for them. They can't even begin to understand what I know to be the best for them. Flynn can't even fathom what would happen if I let her eat what she wanted. And before she knew what ramifications came from unsafe food, she didn't understand why she couldn't eat what others were eating. She would cry or beg. But I knew. I knew what was best. Even if it wasn't what she asked for. It was the best for her.

And those we pray for. Those we beg for God to keep here on earth. God knows the bigger picture. And if we truly knew what heaven held for us, had just a morsel of an idea of the incredibleness (is that a word?) of eternity in heaven, we'd never pray for someone to stay here on earth.

When we pray for God to be glorified, do we really consider that his glory could come from someone being made whole in heaven?

I am constantly praying, 'God I don't understand.' But God never promised us understanding. The wisest person in the world could never even be in the same realm as God's thoughts.

So, when I ask God, question him why this or why not that, I have to remember that as my Father, He really does know the best for His children. Whether or not it hurts. Whether or not it's what I asked for.

Of course, this understanding coming to me fourth degree from the hurt. It's not my child. It's not my mom. So perhaps my conclusion is easier to settle on. And I pray that those facing the direct hurt can feel God's peace.