I'm a perfect example of shoving that nasty stuff, that you don't want to remember, way back in the dusty corners of my mind. Negative stuff hurts my psyche. So, I just try to think about it.
But Good Friday. It's a day we're supposed to remember that bad stuff. The horrible, sad, & gruesome stuff. That our Savior went through for us.
Because if we forget, then we might not remember what a price it was for all of our sin. The sin that was washed away by His sacrifice.
At this point in my life... a mother, particularly of a son, those are the thoughts that strike me so personally. Thinking of Mary, looking at her son... hurting so badly, but knowing that He was brought to earth to do that very thing.
I also think of the last supper... communing with His disciples. Praying in the garden & crying & pleading with God, His Father...is there any other way?
Jesus, may Your message never get old. May we never be desensitized to the details. May it always grip our hearts. Every Easter, break our hearts all over again... and remind us of Your sacrifice.
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
4.10.2009
3.04.2009
Bathing Beauties
Alternately Titled: Our Church Rocks
These are some photos of my two beauts. But also, nearly as cute, are the boats they made in each of their classes (Gabe is in the 3-yr old preschool class at church & Flynn is in the 4-5-K class at church).
I love that they aren't put in a room with a movie. Or given crappy coloring sheets to color.
They're taught God's word, in a very real & relevant way, that makes sense to a child --- and that's not a whole group I'm referring to. I mean, Gabe's class is taught different than even Flynn's class.
They sing praise & worship. They are told a lesson, sometimes through drama or puppets. And sometimes play instruments. Their learning is then extended through a project...and play, of course.
And that's what we did when we came home from church. That evening, at bath time, we floated the boats we made at church. And Flynn told the story.
And that is what church is about.
These are some photos of my two beauts. But also, nearly as cute, are the boats they made in each of their classes (Gabe is in the 3-yr old preschool class at church & Flynn is in the 4-5-K class at church).
I love that they aren't put in a room with a movie. Or given crappy coloring sheets to color.
They're taught God's word, in a very real & relevant way, that makes sense to a child --- and that's not a whole group I'm referring to. I mean, Gabe's class is taught different than even Flynn's class.
They sing praise & worship. They are told a lesson, sometimes through drama or puppets. And sometimes play instruments. Their learning is then extended through a project...and play, of course.And that's what we did when we came home from church. That evening, at bath time, we floated the boats we made at church. And Flynn told the story.
And that is what church is about.
1.12.2009
A Spot in Heaven Reserved
...and really, that's not all it's about.
Walking with Christ is almost the best part. The heaven thing, that's the cherry on top.
And last night, when I was stuffing laundry into the dryer, Flynn called to me from the spring horse,
"Mom, I want God & Jesus in my heart."
"Well baby, we prayed about that before...do you want to pray about it again?"
And she nodded. And I was across the room at the speed of light. To squat beside her, take her hand, & be sure that she knew how huge it is. So she sweetly took my hands & repeated my prayer. About sin being the icky stuff we do. And once we ask Jesus to be our friend forever, that God doesn't even see that junk. (which is hard for even me to believe at times)
This morning, I greeted her with, "Remember the prayer you prayed last night?"
And in her grovelly morning voice she sweetly replied, "That Jesus could live in my heart forever."
Good stuff.
Walking with Christ is almost the best part. The heaven thing, that's the cherry on top.
And last night, when I was stuffing laundry into the dryer, Flynn called to me from the spring horse,
"Mom, I want God & Jesus in my heart."
"Well baby, we prayed about that before...do you want to pray about it again?"
And she nodded. And I was across the room at the speed of light. To squat beside her, take her hand, & be sure that she knew how huge it is. So she sweetly took my hands & repeated my prayer. About sin being the icky stuff we do. And once we ask Jesus to be our friend forever, that God doesn't even see that junk. (which is hard for even me to believe at times)
This morning, I greeted her with, "Remember the prayer you prayed last night?"
And in her grovelly morning voice she sweetly replied, "That Jesus could live in my heart forever."
Good stuff.
1.02.2009
Vision Questions for 2009
1. What skill do you most want to learn this year?
Maybe learn some new dishes (that are CHEAP). But more importantly, learn the skill of, um, BEING PATIENT (is that a skill or a virtue or what??)
2. What is one skill you already have that you’d like to improve this year?
turkey sounds. no kidding.
but really, i don't know so much a bout improving it (I think it's already perfected).
i think i'm a decent teacher. and am super frugal. so maybe a frugal teacher? i could go out on the road w/ that? a traveling frugal teacher show?
shoot, this is supposed to be serious. okay. a'hem.
i want to be more organized w/ my frugality techniques. like, finding/cutting a coupon does you no good if u let it expire. etc.
3. Name three books you most definitely want to read in 2009.
1.the bible
2.sacred marriage (started last yr, never finished)
3.a praying wife. and finish the other ones i started in '08.
4. In what specific area do you most want to encourage your spouse?
one time i read an article about a dad... he was talking about how his wife & him are supposed to be a team. only he feels like she's the coach & he's on the team. and i laughed. but then felt really guilty. becuz i talk a big talk about how we're a team, but then i'm constantly yelling to him that he's up to bat.
i would like to remind him that he is the lead of our relationship. and encouragement does not come from my words, yet from my deeds. and i've become increasingly conscientious about how my actions have been a reminder to him that i want to be in charge. but i really don't. really. i want to encourage him to feel comfortable in his spiritual role as the head of our home.
What are some ways you can do this?
by being a constant reminder that i am to submit to him. and that doesn't mean, "honey, you make the decision." but then when he decides to buy a black microwave instead of a white one, that i sulk for 5 years until that one breaks (or until he gets tired of my pouting & buys a white one). that's not a true story...but it sounds true, doesn't it?
i would never ask one of my kids to do something that's new to them, then criticize how they did it. so why should i do that to my spouse.
i will PRAYERFULLY practice not only my role, but practice being a support to the role that God has given jeff.
5. Think of one of your major life goals. What will you do this year to make you one step closer to reaching that goal?
believe it or not, in my life, i set goals. and i've reached them all. no joke. they were (marry, be a mom, and be a teacher). i've done them all.
but i'm not teaching right now. and i miss it HORRIBLY.
6. Name your kids’ biggest strengths. What are some ways you can specifically nourish those strengths?
Flynn has a God-given artistic gift. I'm not just being a proud mom. She does things artistically that far surpass what is age-appropriate. I see that in many areas in her little life. I'm going to work extra hard this year to give her opportunity to develop that. And I don't just mean buying new paints for our art carts. She needs a new avenue to explore her skills.
Gabe is very musical. Most of the songs he 'sings' are only recognizable by their tune (thank God he can carry a tune, because you certainly can't understand his words!). For a while now, when he hears piano, he will put his fingers up, as tho he is playing one. He got a guitar from santa & is REALLY into it.
I would like to see what our options might be (financially) to pursue lessons of some kind.
7. Name your kids’ most prominent weakness. What are some ways you can encourage their ability to overcome it?
Something I've noticed in Flynn, in just the last couple of weeks, is that she's starting to REALLY care what other people think of her. That's okay to a certain extent. I'm afraid that her self conciousness could be partly due to the fact that we trained her so hard to behave & be aware of others & their feelings. It's great to have a well-behaved child, but not if it means breaking their spirit.
Lately, she has started to get dressed, or accessorized & she paused. I can tell she's thinking. Then she'll ask me, "Do you think _____ will like my shirt?" etc.
It pains me. I want her to like herself first. And others accepting her as a bonus.
How can I do this? For starters, Jeff & I need to lay off our discipline. We've recognized & agreed that we've been too strict on her. We've made a perfect child & that only does everyone else good. Not her.
I want to build up in her an esteem that comes from her knowing that her worth lies in God. That she IS beautiful & that thinking that she is, is what's important. I really could care less what others think about me (to an extent) & I pray that some of that rubs off on her. She needs to be secure in herself. To grow into being a healthy whole... so that she's not constantly seeking validation from others.
Gabe's weaknesses are not as easy to pinpoint. He has some 'difficulties' going on. And we're in the process of diagnosing those, so we can move forward.
Gabe has a strength, that is also a weakness. And that is that his love language is touch. He loves to be loved on. But it also works against him. Disciplining him has been a challenge. And even things done out of love seem to aggravate the process.
I believe that we are encouraging others to help us help him to overcome what he has been fighting against.
But I certainly don't want to get caught up in the process & forget about the one we're fighting for.
What I've already seen us doing is re-evaluating some of the stuff we found important before. And deciding which battles are worth picking.
And remember that above all, our children seeing their parents' marriage as a united front, is the most beneficial thing we can do for them.
8. What is one of your strengths? Think of some specific ways you can exercise it this year.
I am very administrative (read: bossy). I can be (used to be) very organized. And probably the biggest strength is my creativity.
Whenever I read those traits, I instantly think of teaching, as it incorporates all of those attributes.
But also good parenting comes from those, if channeled properly.
I hope to tune those strengths into good home management. Put the unimportant things on the back burner & use my time wisely, first, on the things that help our home run smoothly.
9. What is one of your weaknesses? Brainstorm some ideas on how you can overcome this deficiency.
I battle anxiety. And some days it seems to be what's in charge of me. God is the sole provider of my peace & carefreeness. So, if I don't start my day off with Him & time spent 'with' Him, I can forget about relaxing at all (at any capacity).
My anxiousness can sometime lead way to negativity, if I let it. Which can snowball into a desperate feeling of there's nothing we can do about it.
There are some things you have no control over. And at that fork in the road, you make the decision, do I buck up & deal. Or do I go down the path of letting our battle consume us?
My practical ideas include:
prayer - a time in the morning, when I resolved to start my day (which effects the days of so many others) with God. Praising Him & asking Him to be in charge of my life, my world, & my family. To give me the 'things' I need to love others.
water - it sounds so stupid. but i get too busy to even drink sometimes. and dehydration leads to fatigue, and fatigue will feed into any problem you have potential of having.
attitude - keep working toward what i've been working toward my whole life... and that's NOT LETTING THINGS BOTHER ME. i can't. literally. if something bothers me, my blood pressure goes up. and widowing my hot hubs & leaving my kids w/o a momma, becuz i can't let things roll off my shoulder, seem PRETTY SILLY. right? i'm actively working toward a solution for this. short of a personality transplant. ;)
10. Think of an important relationship aside from your spouse and children. How will you nurture that relationship this year?
i instantly think of God here. and that would be the relationship more important than ALL others (including spouse & children).
nurturing it includes:
prayer
time reading the bible
meditation (a scripture of the day, muttering it under my breath all day, in line at the store, in the car)
sharing Him w/ others.
11. Name a few ways your physical health could be improved.
see nine.
i also need an exercise regiment. and becuz of lack of finances. lack of space. lack of time. it constantly gets shoved to the back burner.
12. Name a few ways your family’s financial health could be improved.
we've actually tweaked & creaked a budget. there's not a lot more that can change aside from more income.
i think that this year will be the year we see more freedom with that. and that's me having faith that full time work will come my way.
when that day does come, there will be a big temptation to spend. and we can't. we have to be responsible with what God gives us. that means sticking to our budget, even when my income doubles. we have lots of swimming to do until we reach debt-free shore. and right now, we're doggy-paddling.
some things we are committed to:
keeping our cars for years & years until they literally die
buying a modest house, whose mortgage won't be a lot more than the cheap one we have
not adding things to our monthly payments
financial freedom through no debt
13. In what way do you want to draw closer to God?
i blogged about this yesterday, but I want to know Him so strongly that i start to see His attributes THROUGH me. that even i am shocked when i see my actions reflecting Him.
14. What is one area of home management that frustrates you? Think of some specific ways you could improve your attitude about it.
disorganization. it gives me anxiety. it LITERALLY can make me sick. it's a waster.
ways to improve my attitude? i dont' know that i should feel differently about it. becuz not being organized can reak havoc on our home.
15. We're going to make a family mission statement.
16. Name one specific thing you could do with your spouse this year that will deepen your intimacy.
We have been so good about praying together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, and sadly, we've slacked as of late. It might not immediately seem to negatively effect us, but how could it not??
I'd love to take a weekend trip away w/ Jeff. We have NEVER done this since having kids (all we've gotten away together has been a night). It would be nice to pack up some stuff & head out of dodge. And concentrate on just each other all weekend. But financially, I don't see it happening this year.
17. What is something that is continually undone in your life? What will you do to fully complete it this year?
I have lots of 'projects' that I start & don't finish. They might be small but I would like to finish them. Esp scrapbooking. I'm losing memories that should be documented. I would at least like to finish my kids' baby books.
18. In what ways will you be involved with your local community?
I don't know. I'd like to think that my work in my home church positively effects the community.
19. What is one thing you’d like to accomplish by your birthday this year?
Losing 20+ more pounds.
20. Think of three words you’d like to describe your 2009.
Health. Wholeness. Contentment.
Maybe learn some new dishes (that are CHEAP). But more importantly, learn the skill of, um, BEING PATIENT (is that a skill or a virtue or what??)
2. What is one skill you already have that you’d like to improve this year?
turkey sounds. no kidding.
but really, i don't know so much a bout improving it (I think it's already perfected).
i think i'm a decent teacher. and am super frugal. so maybe a frugal teacher? i could go out on the road w/ that? a traveling frugal teacher show?
shoot, this is supposed to be serious. okay. a'hem.
i want to be more organized w/ my frugality techniques. like, finding/cutting a coupon does you no good if u let it expire. etc.
3. Name three books you most definitely want to read in 2009.
1.the bible
2.sacred marriage (started last yr, never finished)
3.a praying wife. and finish the other ones i started in '08.
4. In what specific area do you most want to encourage your spouse?
one time i read an article about a dad... he was talking about how his wife & him are supposed to be a team. only he feels like she's the coach & he's on the team. and i laughed. but then felt really guilty. becuz i talk a big talk about how we're a team, but then i'm constantly yelling to him that he's up to bat.
i would like to remind him that he is the lead of our relationship. and encouragement does not come from my words, yet from my deeds. and i've become increasingly conscientious about how my actions have been a reminder to him that i want to be in charge. but i really don't. really. i want to encourage him to feel comfortable in his spiritual role as the head of our home.
What are some ways you can do this?
by being a constant reminder that i am to submit to him. and that doesn't mean, "honey, you make the decision." but then when he decides to buy a black microwave instead of a white one, that i sulk for 5 years until that one breaks (or until he gets tired of my pouting & buys a white one). that's not a true story...but it sounds true, doesn't it?
i would never ask one of my kids to do something that's new to them, then criticize how they did it. so why should i do that to my spouse.
i will PRAYERFULLY practice not only my role, but practice being a support to the role that God has given jeff.
5. Think of one of your major life goals. What will you do this year to make you one step closer to reaching that goal?
believe it or not, in my life, i set goals. and i've reached them all. no joke. they were (marry, be a mom, and be a teacher). i've done them all.
but i'm not teaching right now. and i miss it HORRIBLY.
6. Name your kids’ biggest strengths. What are some ways you can specifically nourish those strengths?
Flynn has a God-given artistic gift. I'm not just being a proud mom. She does things artistically that far surpass what is age-appropriate. I see that in many areas in her little life. I'm going to work extra hard this year to give her opportunity to develop that. And I don't just mean buying new paints for our art carts. She needs a new avenue to explore her skills.
Gabe is very musical. Most of the songs he 'sings' are only recognizable by their tune (thank God he can carry a tune, because you certainly can't understand his words!). For a while now, when he hears piano, he will put his fingers up, as tho he is playing one. He got a guitar from santa & is REALLY into it.
I would like to see what our options might be (financially) to pursue lessons of some kind.
7. Name your kids’ most prominent weakness. What are some ways you can encourage their ability to overcome it?
Something I've noticed in Flynn, in just the last couple of weeks, is that she's starting to REALLY care what other people think of her. That's okay to a certain extent. I'm afraid that her self conciousness could be partly due to the fact that we trained her so hard to behave & be aware of others & their feelings. It's great to have a well-behaved child, but not if it means breaking their spirit.
Lately, she has started to get dressed, or accessorized & she paused. I can tell she's thinking. Then she'll ask me, "Do you think _____ will like my shirt?" etc.
It pains me. I want her to like herself first. And others accepting her as a bonus.
How can I do this? For starters, Jeff & I need to lay off our discipline. We've recognized & agreed that we've been too strict on her. We've made a perfect child & that only does everyone else good. Not her.
I want to build up in her an esteem that comes from her knowing that her worth lies in God. That she IS beautiful & that thinking that she is, is what's important. I really could care less what others think about me (to an extent) & I pray that some of that rubs off on her. She needs to be secure in herself. To grow into being a healthy whole... so that she's not constantly seeking validation from others.
Gabe's weaknesses are not as easy to pinpoint. He has some 'difficulties' going on. And we're in the process of diagnosing those, so we can move forward.
Gabe has a strength, that is also a weakness. And that is that his love language is touch. He loves to be loved on. But it also works against him. Disciplining him has been a challenge. And even things done out of love seem to aggravate the process.
I believe that we are encouraging others to help us help him to overcome what he has been fighting against.
But I certainly don't want to get caught up in the process & forget about the one we're fighting for.
What I've already seen us doing is re-evaluating some of the stuff we found important before. And deciding which battles are worth picking.
And remember that above all, our children seeing their parents' marriage as a united front, is the most beneficial thing we can do for them.
8. What is one of your strengths? Think of some specific ways you can exercise it this year.
I am very administrative (read: bossy). I can be (used to be) very organized. And probably the biggest strength is my creativity.
Whenever I read those traits, I instantly think of teaching, as it incorporates all of those attributes.
But also good parenting comes from those, if channeled properly.
I hope to tune those strengths into good home management. Put the unimportant things on the back burner & use my time wisely, first, on the things that help our home run smoothly.
9. What is one of your weaknesses? Brainstorm some ideas on how you can overcome this deficiency.
I battle anxiety. And some days it seems to be what's in charge of me. God is the sole provider of my peace & carefreeness. So, if I don't start my day off with Him & time spent 'with' Him, I can forget about relaxing at all (at any capacity).
My anxiousness can sometime lead way to negativity, if I let it. Which can snowball into a desperate feeling of there's nothing we can do about it.
There are some things you have no control over. And at that fork in the road, you make the decision, do I buck up & deal. Or do I go down the path of letting our battle consume us?
My practical ideas include:
prayer - a time in the morning, when I resolved to start my day (which effects the days of so many others) with God. Praising Him & asking Him to be in charge of my life, my world, & my family. To give me the 'things' I need to love others.
water - it sounds so stupid. but i get too busy to even drink sometimes. and dehydration leads to fatigue, and fatigue will feed into any problem you have potential of having.
attitude - keep working toward what i've been working toward my whole life... and that's NOT LETTING THINGS BOTHER ME. i can't. literally. if something bothers me, my blood pressure goes up. and widowing my hot hubs & leaving my kids w/o a momma, becuz i can't let things roll off my shoulder, seem PRETTY SILLY. right? i'm actively working toward a solution for this. short of a personality transplant. ;)
10. Think of an important relationship aside from your spouse and children. How will you nurture that relationship this year?
i instantly think of God here. and that would be the relationship more important than ALL others (including spouse & children).
nurturing it includes:
prayer
time reading the bible
meditation (a scripture of the day, muttering it under my breath all day, in line at the store, in the car)
sharing Him w/ others.
11. Name a few ways your physical health could be improved.
see nine.
i also need an exercise regiment. and becuz of lack of finances. lack of space. lack of time. it constantly gets shoved to the back burner.
12. Name a few ways your family’s financial health could be improved.
we've actually tweaked & creaked a budget. there's not a lot more that can change aside from more income.
i think that this year will be the year we see more freedom with that. and that's me having faith that full time work will come my way.
when that day does come, there will be a big temptation to spend. and we can't. we have to be responsible with what God gives us. that means sticking to our budget, even when my income doubles. we have lots of swimming to do until we reach debt-free shore. and right now, we're doggy-paddling.
some things we are committed to:
keeping our cars for years & years until they literally die
buying a modest house, whose mortgage won't be a lot more than the cheap one we have
not adding things to our monthly payments
financial freedom through no debt
13. In what way do you want to draw closer to God?
i blogged about this yesterday, but I want to know Him so strongly that i start to see His attributes THROUGH me. that even i am shocked when i see my actions reflecting Him.
14. What is one area of home management that frustrates you? Think of some specific ways you could improve your attitude about it.
disorganization. it gives me anxiety. it LITERALLY can make me sick. it's a waster.
ways to improve my attitude? i dont' know that i should feel differently about it. becuz not being organized can reak havoc on our home.
15. We're going to make a family mission statement.
16. Name one specific thing you could do with your spouse this year that will deepen your intimacy.
We have been so good about praying together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, and sadly, we've slacked as of late. It might not immediately seem to negatively effect us, but how could it not??
I'd love to take a weekend trip away w/ Jeff. We have NEVER done this since having kids (all we've gotten away together has been a night). It would be nice to pack up some stuff & head out of dodge. And concentrate on just each other all weekend. But financially, I don't see it happening this year.
17. What is something that is continually undone in your life? What will you do to fully complete it this year?
I have lots of 'projects' that I start & don't finish. They might be small but I would like to finish them. Esp scrapbooking. I'm losing memories that should be documented. I would at least like to finish my kids' baby books.
18. In what ways will you be involved with your local community?
I don't know. I'd like to think that my work in my home church positively effects the community.
19. What is one thing you’d like to accomplish by your birthday this year?
Losing 20+ more pounds.
20. Think of three words you’d like to describe your 2009.
Health. Wholeness. Contentment.
12.15.2008
Not Ready
I woke up to notice Jeff not beside me. Which was strange. And when I got up to look for him, I saw both kids' beds were empty. I started to panic. No one should be awake so early. The cars were still here, he couldn't have taken them anywhere. And as I searched through the house yelling their names, I got the strangest feeling.
At some point, after I'd made phone calls, listened to the radio, turned on the tv, it became clear to me. And after preparing for it my whole life, it happened & I got left behind.
This was a dream I had Saturday night. And although, through the course of the dream, it evolved into me not being the main character, yet me watching this happen to someone else; it was still enough to shake me to my core & leave such an impression on it, that 30 hours later, I can't get it off my mind.
And I want to be sure that you are ready. That anyone who thinks my blog is of any interest, has read with their own eyes, perhaps something you'd never known before. It's the other side of what we live. A side that isn't talked about much.... it's not fluffy or heartwarming. It's not rainbows & doves & kittens & sunshine. It's not 'God Bless You' or 'Peace to You.'
I was surprised to recently read that Rapture has become something that is believed in by just evangelical religions.
According to the Word of God, the next great event in the fulfillment of prophecy will be the coming of the Lord in the air to receive to Himself into heaven both His own who are alive and remain unto His coming, and also all who have fallen asleep in Jesus, and that this event is the blessed hope set before us in the Scripture, and for this we should be constantly looking (John 14:1:3; 1 Cor. 15:51:52; Phil. 3:20; 1 Thess. 4:13:18; Titus 2:11:14).
Hey, someone a long time ago must've thought so too -- graves are still buried facing the east.
No matter -- whether you believe that people are going to instantly be taken up (some films depict the clothing left behind, the cars left driving) --- or believe in a different order of events... pretribulation, post, etc., I feel confident in saying that most Christian religions believe that Jesus is coming again, the dead will be resurrected, and the problem of sin will be fully and finally resolved.
Isn't that a much better eternity to think of; rather than, you live, you die, that's it. ?
Maybe I won't be arround for Christ's return. Maybe I'll die today. Maybe you will. Either way, isn't it best to know what will happen if we do die?
I pray often for Christ's return. I don't want to be around to bury one of our parents...to see more sadness in this world.... for 50 more years of back pain. Hopefully that doesn't come across as morbid. But just reading a glimpse of the glory of heaven, is enough for me to be excited for it.
Why did I have such a real dream? Why did God lay it on my heart? I don't think it was the pork loin I ate Saturday for dinner.
How do you know you're ready for Christ? How do you make sure that once you live, you die, you can "firm up" plans for eternity in heaven?...
So easy. So important -- in fact, inarguably, the most important thing you will have ever done. Here's how:
Know & believe that Jesus Christ was God's son - sent to earth to rescue a world full of people like us, sinners.... SO THAT, we could have the promise of heaven for eternity.
In the bible, in the book of John (3:16) is says,
God loved the world so much that He sent His son, so that the people who believe, don't have to just die -- but that we can live FOREVER in HEAVEN. (that's paraphrased by yours truly)
Then it's ABCs (can you tell I'm a teacher?!):
Admit/Accept -- "God, I know I sin. I do awful things. Please forgive me for all the bad stuff. For the years of not always doing the right thing...
Believe -- ....You are God. You sent Your son Jesus who died for me & rose from the deal. I want Him as my savior, as my friend. I accept Him as the One I live For. I trust in only Him......"
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved. Acts (4:12)
Confess -- ...to others. No, I'm not suggesting that you get a bible & stand on the corner on a box, screaming to passers-by. But what I believe was of huge importance in the bible, is spreading the gospel. Best done by you sharing w/ others, just how you feel about Christ. My goodness, some of us go on & on about a new facial cleanser, or a new recipe or sport, more than we do about the guy who let himself be killed for us!
And those others you confess Him to. More beneficial if they don't believe. Otherwise, you're literally preaching to the choir. Certainly uplifting to other believers! (& easy & stress free!) -- however, not so much effectice, eh?!
If you happen to be reading my silly little blog ... and have never heard any of this stuff... will you email me? (tightwadmomma@gmail.com) Or maybe you've heard it all before, but are at a place in your life where it all just makes sense. Please let me know. God doesn't intend for you to make such a step then wander aimlessly alone in your walk. He wants you to be supported. And He wants you to keep learning.
Now, onto a post about my kids, baby poop, & all the other ridiculous stuff I usually talk about...
At some point, after I'd made phone calls, listened to the radio, turned on the tv, it became clear to me. And after preparing for it my whole life, it happened & I got left behind.
This was a dream I had Saturday night. And although, through the course of the dream, it evolved into me not being the main character, yet me watching this happen to someone else; it was still enough to shake me to my core & leave such an impression on it, that 30 hours later, I can't get it off my mind.
And I want to be sure that you are ready. That anyone who thinks my blog is of any interest, has read with their own eyes, perhaps something you'd never known before. It's the other side of what we live. A side that isn't talked about much.... it's not fluffy or heartwarming. It's not rainbows & doves & kittens & sunshine. It's not 'God Bless You' or 'Peace to You.'
I was surprised to recently read that Rapture has become something that is believed in by just evangelical religions.
According to the Word of God, the next great event in the fulfillment of prophecy will be the coming of the Lord in the air to receive to Himself into heaven both His own who are alive and remain unto His coming, and also all who have fallen asleep in Jesus, and that this event is the blessed hope set before us in the Scripture, and for this we should be constantly looking (John 14:1:3; 1 Cor. 15:51:52; Phil. 3:20; 1 Thess. 4:13:18; Titus 2:11:14).
Hey, someone a long time ago must've thought so too -- graves are still buried facing the east.
No matter -- whether you believe that people are going to instantly be taken up (some films depict the clothing left behind, the cars left driving) --- or believe in a different order of events... pretribulation, post, etc., I feel confident in saying that most Christian religions believe that Jesus is coming again, the dead will be resurrected, and the problem of sin will be fully and finally resolved.
Isn't that a much better eternity to think of; rather than, you live, you die, that's it. ?
Maybe I won't be arround for Christ's return. Maybe I'll die today. Maybe you will. Either way, isn't it best to know what will happen if we do die?
I pray often for Christ's return. I don't want to be around to bury one of our parents...to see more sadness in this world.... for 50 more years of back pain. Hopefully that doesn't come across as morbid. But just reading a glimpse of the glory of heaven, is enough for me to be excited for it.
Why did I have such a real dream? Why did God lay it on my heart? I don't think it was the pork loin I ate Saturday for dinner.
How do you know you're ready for Christ? How do you make sure that once you live, you die, you can "firm up" plans for eternity in heaven?...
So easy. So important -- in fact, inarguably, the most important thing you will have ever done. Here's how:
Know & believe that Jesus Christ was God's son - sent to earth to rescue a world full of people like us, sinners.... SO THAT, we could have the promise of heaven for eternity.
In the bible, in the book of John (3:16) is says,
God loved the world so much that He sent His son, so that the people who believe, don't have to just die -- but that we can live FOREVER in HEAVEN. (that's paraphrased by yours truly)
Then it's ABCs (can you tell I'm a teacher?!):
Admit/Accept -- "God, I know I sin. I do awful things. Please forgive me for all the bad stuff. For the years of not always doing the right thing...
Believe -- ....You are God. You sent Your son Jesus who died for me & rose from the deal. I want Him as my savior, as my friend. I accept Him as the One I live For. I trust in only Him......"
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved. Acts (4:12)
Confess -- ...to others. No, I'm not suggesting that you get a bible & stand on the corner on a box, screaming to passers-by. But what I believe was of huge importance in the bible, is spreading the gospel. Best done by you sharing w/ others, just how you feel about Christ. My goodness, some of us go on & on about a new facial cleanser, or a new recipe or sport, more than we do about the guy who let himself be killed for us!
And those others you confess Him to. More beneficial if they don't believe. Otherwise, you're literally preaching to the choir. Certainly uplifting to other believers! (& easy & stress free!) -- however, not so much effectice, eh?!
If you happen to be reading my silly little blog ... and have never heard any of this stuff... will you email me? (tightwadmomma@gmail.com) Or maybe you've heard it all before, but are at a place in your life where it all just makes sense. Please let me know. God doesn't intend for you to make such a step then wander aimlessly alone in your walk. He wants you to be supported. And He wants you to keep learning.
Now, onto a post about my kids, baby poop, & all the other ridiculous stuff I usually talk about...
11.27.2008
I Am Thankful
Maybe even more than last year. Definitely more than 10 years ago.
So very thankful.
Thankful for...
Flynn stopping me as I walked out of her dark bedroom last night, to say I love you just once more.
Gabe running into Daddy's arms yesterday & laughing until he was out of breath.
Feeling the warmth of Jeff's arms around me & knowing that I am blessed.
So very thankful.
Thankful for...
Flynn stopping me as I walked out of her dark bedroom last night, to say I love you just once more.
Gabe running into Daddy's arms yesterday & laughing until he was out of breath.
Feeling the warmth of Jeff's arms around me & knowing that I am blessed.
11.11.2008
Her Fasting Was Not in Vain
Hey MeMe..Today I took my Bible outside and prayed hard. God brought me to alot of scriptures & the one that spoke to my heart the most was Psalms 103:3. It's a very powerful verse. Meme, God really spoke to me today, He told me that he was going to heal Flynn. Every scripture that God gave me talked about healing & that He never rejects us or ignores us. One said that His hand is always stretched out whenever your in trouble or you need Him. Mattie told me that we know He will do it, but it may take a while... maybe a year. Maybe right now. We need to keep believing.KK
11.06.2008
On Behalf of her Cousin
I am taking a break away from home-listing preparation (moving & boxing stuff up) to brag on my youngest niece...
...who is fasting from dairy, on behalf of Flynn. As she deprives herself from an ingredient, found in most foods, she thinks of Flynn & her struggles, & prays for Flynn.
Pretty selfless for a 12-year old, don't you think?
Why fast? I will include an article by Dr. Bill Bright (Campus Crusades for Christ International):
...who is fasting from dairy, on behalf of Flynn. As she deprives herself from an ingredient, found in most foods, she thinks of Flynn & her struggles, & prays for Flynn.
Pretty selfless for a 12-year old, don't you think?
Why fast? I will include an article by Dr. Bill Bright (Campus Crusades for Christ International):
Why You Should Fast
By Dr. Bill Bright
By Dr. Bill Bright
If you do not already know of the power and importance of fasting, here are some very important facts:
- Fasting was an expected discipline in both the Old and New Testament eras. For example, Moses fasted at least two recorded forty-day periods. Jesus fasted 40 days and reminded His followers to fast, "when you fast," not if you fast.
- Fasting and prayer can restore the loss of the "first love" for your Lord and result in a more intimate relationship with Christ.
- Fasting is a biblical way to truly humble yourself in the sight of God (Psalm 35:13; Ezra 8:21). King David said, "I humble myself through fasting."
- Fasting enables the Holy Spirit to reveal your true spiritual condition, resulting in brokenness, repentance, and a transformed life.
- The Holy Spirit will quicken the Word of God in your heart and His truth will become more meaningful to you!
- Fasting can transform your prayer life into a richer and more personal experience.
- Fasting can result in a dynamic personal revival in your own life-and make you a channel of revival to others.
- Fasting and prayer are the only disciplines that fulfill the requirements of II Chronicles 7:14:
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." - If you fast, you will find yourself being humbled as I did. You will discover more time to pray and seek God's face. And as He leads you to recognize and repent of unconfessed sin, you will experience special blessings from God.
Not everyone should fast from food. Some can not go without it for various reasons. If you'd like to fast about an important issue & are one of those people, choose something to give up. Now, if you hate liver & onions, don't choose that as the item you are giving up. Give up soda, or coffee, or something that you heavily depend upon. So that you are reminded several times a day of that which you are fasting for.
And expect to see results!
10.21.2008
Opinions are like Backsides
Everyone has one -- and they all sm- well, I'll let you finish that.
And that's about how I feel lately. Like if someone else tells me what they think about something I do, feel, celebrate, eat, wear - or what my child wears, I think I will scream.
If I get another email about why you don't celebrate Halloween or have another person tell me that they're shocked my 4-year old daughter chose to dress up as a little orange, purple, & black witch*, I might cough in your face (incidentally, I'm also a little sick).
I always told my 3rd graders, "MYOB" (mind your own beeswax) & maybe I should bring the phrase back?
So, let's dig into it. Convictions that is. And talk about whom should be convicting whom. And how everyone has a line they don't cross (conviction) & how finding one other person to perfectly share your convictions is about like finding 2 matching snowflakes. As close as Jeff & I are to being one person, we don't even share the same convictions. And while I have lots of "easy-to-measure" convictions (legalism?), I fall short in lots of internal ways (perfectionism, judgementalism, impatience, over-sensitivity, unreachably expectantivism - I know, not a word). I will do some things that you won't do. You will do some things that I won't do. We all have dirt under our rugs somewhere --- some people sweep it further, others don't. God sees the dirt. Some other people see the dirt. And some people have such perfect rugs (the ones with gold tassels) that no one even suspects a fleck of dust lays under there. But it's there.
I just think it's extremely interesting that some people are so proud of their convictions that they want to share them with as many people as they can. Even more interesting when they share them with others who share the same convictions.
What if one day I 'decided' that the color blue was un-Christlike. And so, I got all the things out of my house that were blue. And then I blogged & sent out emails that were about the evils of the color blue. And that's about how I feel about some of the things people tell me they THINK are wrong. I'm like, "good for you that you are being proactive about something in your life that you think is unhealthy for your walk with Christ." But I'm also thinking that I don't see a thing wrong with blue & even after going back into the word & researching 'blue', I don't find anything that convicts me about that color.
I honestly am not bothered after someone passes judgement about a conviction I don't share. I just figure that I just need to pray for them, that they'll feel bad about being judgemental.
Maybe I should send out a mass email about that.
Just kidding.
*Just so we're clear, only one person said something.
And that's about how I feel lately. Like if someone else tells me what they think about something I do, feel, celebrate, eat, wear - or what my child wears, I think I will scream.
If I get another email about why you don't celebrate Halloween or have another person tell me that they're shocked my 4-year old daughter chose to dress up as a little orange, purple, & black witch*, I might cough in your face (incidentally, I'm also a little sick).
I always told my 3rd graders, "MYOB" (mind your own beeswax) & maybe I should bring the phrase back?
So, let's dig into it. Convictions that is. And talk about whom should be convicting whom. And how everyone has a line they don't cross (conviction) & how finding one other person to perfectly share your convictions is about like finding 2 matching snowflakes. As close as Jeff & I are to being one person, we don't even share the same convictions. And while I have lots of "easy-to-measure" convictions (legalism?), I fall short in lots of internal ways (perfectionism, judgementalism, impatience, over-sensitivity, unreachably expectantivism - I know, not a word). I will do some things that you won't do. You will do some things that I won't do. We all have dirt under our rugs somewhere --- some people sweep it further, others don't. God sees the dirt. Some other people see the dirt. And some people have such perfect rugs (the ones with gold tassels) that no one even suspects a fleck of dust lays under there. But it's there.
I just think it's extremely interesting that some people are so proud of their convictions that they want to share them with as many people as they can. Even more interesting when they share them with others who share the same convictions.
What if one day I 'decided' that the color blue was un-Christlike. And so, I got all the things out of my house that were blue. And then I blogged & sent out emails that were about the evils of the color blue. And that's about how I feel about some of the things people tell me they THINK are wrong. I'm like, "good for you that you are being proactive about something in your life that you think is unhealthy for your walk with Christ." But I'm also thinking that I don't see a thing wrong with blue & even after going back into the word & researching 'blue', I don't find anything that convicts me about that color.
I honestly am not bothered after someone passes judgement about a conviction I don't share. I just figure that I just need to pray for them, that they'll feel bad about being judgemental.
Maybe I should send out a mass email about that.
Just kidding.
*Just so we're clear, only one person said something.
10.05.2008
This Scares Me
I just watched this & it frightens me horribly.
I have to admit, when I think about our society, the media, the celebrities, our country, our president (both current & future), I will pray. But I shamefully haven't made it a priority.
This scared me into making it a priority.
I have to admit, when I think about our society, the media, the celebrities, our country, our president (both current & future), I will pray. But I shamefully haven't made it a priority.
This scared me into making it a priority.
9.24.2008
Questioning God
My whole life I heard people say not to question God. Don't doubt Him. Don't second-guess Him. And certainly never be mad at Him.
But sometimes I ask Him why...
A few days ago, a very close friend of my cousin & his family, lost her battle against cancer.
But not before she beat it several times. Each time she'd received healing, she never failed to give God His due honor. She was a true respresentative of a Christ-following Christian who could have turned bitter, but instead praised Him through each storm. She even began a ministry to be a support to those fighting illnesses.
She & her husband had one daughter who she was very close to. And that daughter was married this past summer.
When Laura got ill again last year, her daughter understandably wanted her mom to be present on this earth for her wedding, for the birth of her first child.
So, it's my understanding that they moved up their wedding, and even were successful in a honeymoon baby.
Who is due in just a few months.
Due to complications from a hospital stay, combined with cancer spreading through her body, Laura's family knew her days were numbered.
When it seemed that she would no doubt pass before the baby girl making her entrance to the world, all began to pray she could at least last until a 4-D could show her the baby she'd never meet.
We all prayed God would once again heal her. Another miracle so that she could at least rejoice in photos that would allow her to count toes, count fingers, see long baby eyelashes, & recognize a feature or two that she admired in her baby 20 or so years ago.
But it didn't happen. God decided not to heal her here on earth. Her life cut short in her forties.
And when I read the email, all I could do was cry. And feel slighted on her daughter's behalf.
"God why? Why couldn't You just leave her here just a few more months??"
And I thought about it the next day, and today...
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
So, what does that mean?
I'm a teacher. And there's nothing I think about, ponder on, that I don't try to understand. And just as I used to do with ALL the content I taught my students, I apply it. And as I liken everything to real life, I usually liken the words & promises spoken by our father, to my life as a parent.
And I thought about the countless times I have asked my kids to do something, taken something from them, forced them to do something... against their will, against their pleading. Because I wanted to be a mean mom?
Of course not.
But because I know the bigger picture. I know what's best for them. They can't even begin to understand what I know to be the best for them. Flynn can't even fathom what would happen if I let her eat what she wanted. And before she knew what ramifications came from unsafe food, she didn't understand why she couldn't eat what others were eating. She would cry or beg. But I knew. I knew what was best. Even if it wasn't what she asked for. It was the best for her.
And those we pray for. Those we beg for God to keep here on earth. God knows the bigger picture. And if we truly knew what heaven held for us, had just a morsel of an idea of the incredibleness (is that a word?) of eternity in heaven, we'd never pray for someone to stay here on earth.
When we pray for God to be glorified, do we really consider that his glory could come from someone being made whole in heaven?
I am constantly praying, 'God I don't understand.' But God never promised us understanding. The wisest person in the world could never even be in the same realm as God's thoughts.
So, when I ask God, question him why this or why not that, I have to remember that as my Father, He really does know the best for His children. Whether or not it hurts. Whether or not it's what I asked for.
Of course, this understanding coming to me fourth degree from the hurt. It's not my child. It's not my mom. So perhaps my conclusion is easier to settle on. And I pray that those facing the direct hurt can feel God's peace.
But sometimes I ask Him why...
A few days ago, a very close friend of my cousin & his family, lost her battle against cancer.
But not before she beat it several times. Each time she'd received healing, she never failed to give God His due honor. She was a true respresentative of a Christ-following Christian who could have turned bitter, but instead praised Him through each storm. She even began a ministry to be a support to those fighting illnesses.
She & her husband had one daughter who she was very close to. And that daughter was married this past summer.
When Laura got ill again last year, her daughter understandably wanted her mom to be present on this earth for her wedding, for the birth of her first child.
So, it's my understanding that they moved up their wedding, and even were successful in a honeymoon baby.
Who is due in just a few months.
Due to complications from a hospital stay, combined with cancer spreading through her body, Laura's family knew her days were numbered.
When it seemed that she would no doubt pass before the baby girl making her entrance to the world, all began to pray she could at least last until a 4-D could show her the baby she'd never meet.
We all prayed God would once again heal her. Another miracle so that she could at least rejoice in photos that would allow her to count toes, count fingers, see long baby eyelashes, & recognize a feature or two that she admired in her baby 20 or so years ago.
But it didn't happen. God decided not to heal her here on earth. Her life cut short in her forties.
And when I read the email, all I could do was cry. And feel slighted on her daughter's behalf.
"God why? Why couldn't You just leave her here just a few more months??"
And I thought about it the next day, and today...
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
So, what does that mean?
I'm a teacher. And there's nothing I think about, ponder on, that I don't try to understand. And just as I used to do with ALL the content I taught my students, I apply it. And as I liken everything to real life, I usually liken the words & promises spoken by our father, to my life as a parent.
And I thought about the countless times I have asked my kids to do something, taken something from them, forced them to do something... against their will, against their pleading. Because I wanted to be a mean mom?
Of course not.
But because I know the bigger picture. I know what's best for them. They can't even begin to understand what I know to be the best for them. Flynn can't even fathom what would happen if I let her eat what she wanted. And before she knew what ramifications came from unsafe food, she didn't understand why she couldn't eat what others were eating. She would cry or beg. But I knew. I knew what was best. Even if it wasn't what she asked for. It was the best for her.
And those we pray for. Those we beg for God to keep here on earth. God knows the bigger picture. And if we truly knew what heaven held for us, had just a morsel of an idea of the incredibleness (is that a word?) of eternity in heaven, we'd never pray for someone to stay here on earth.
When we pray for God to be glorified, do we really consider that his glory could come from someone being made whole in heaven?
I am constantly praying, 'God I don't understand.' But God never promised us understanding. The wisest person in the world could never even be in the same realm as God's thoughts.
So, when I ask God, question him why this or why not that, I have to remember that as my Father, He really does know the best for His children. Whether or not it hurts. Whether or not it's what I asked for.
Of course, this understanding coming to me fourth degree from the hurt. It's not my child. It's not my mom. So perhaps my conclusion is easier to settle on. And I pray that those facing the direct hurt can feel God's peace.
9.17.2008
Romans 8
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
I don't claim to know any more answers than the next guy (or gal). As a matter of fact, sometimes I ask God why we still struggle with certain things.
There are a lot of mountains in my life. While it is a great life, rich with blessings & abundance (of the things that matter), there are certain hills, that I pray all the time for God to just move (or smash with His giant foot).
There are a couple that I pray for all the time. I won't be specific, as several people I know personally, read my blog. Enuff said about that. But, I'm sure you would guess that one of them is Flynn's allergy to milk.
It's not an inconvenience, more like an affliction. To know that at any given mistake, Flynn could die; well, that isn't small fries.
There are some people who think that if you have just enough faith, or the right kind, you will never have to suffer.
And -- just so we're straight, I completely whole-heartedly believe in healing. The kind produced by faith in God. I absolutely know that the moment He decides to take Flynn's illness from her, that He will.
But I also know that when we pray for Him to show Himself glorified, that it might not be in the form of taking that from her.
His glory might be shown THROUGH what we go through. Heck, it might be enough that there were people who heard her talk about God when she was having a reaction. Or who know that she's only four, but has a power-packed punch full of faith. The girl knows her Jesus.
And if those reasons are the ones God Has while He chooses to allow us this type of suffering. So be it. I want Him to be glorified however he chooses.
Before I sound like I'm whining, you must admit that you have moutains in your path. Ones you must face each day. What might really be a molehill to someone else is your Mt Everest. For one person it's a hangnail. For the other it's a broken marriage. And to each person, their mountain is huge.
I know that sometimes God chooses to move the mountain. Some people are healed. Some have a miracle baby or see their spouse come to Christ.
But sometimes God lets us dwell. And learn. And change. And eventually He might step on our ant hill & smash it. Or other times we end up with enough of His strength to smash it on our own.
Some people even hang a wreath on their mountain & call it HOME.
I hope I have enough faith to accept whatever He does with the hills & mountains in my path.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
I don't claim to know any more answers than the next guy (or gal). As a matter of fact, sometimes I ask God why we still struggle with certain things.
There are a lot of mountains in my life. While it is a great life, rich with blessings & abundance (of the things that matter), there are certain hills, that I pray all the time for God to just move (or smash with His giant foot).
There are a couple that I pray for all the time. I won't be specific, as several people I know personally, read my blog. Enuff said about that. But, I'm sure you would guess that one of them is Flynn's allergy to milk.
It's not an inconvenience, more like an affliction. To know that at any given mistake, Flynn could die; well, that isn't small fries.
There are some people who think that if you have just enough faith, or the right kind, you will never have to suffer.
And -- just so we're straight, I completely whole-heartedly believe in healing. The kind produced by faith in God. I absolutely know that the moment He decides to take Flynn's illness from her, that He will.
But I also know that when we pray for Him to show Himself glorified, that it might not be in the form of taking that from her.
His glory might be shown THROUGH what we go through. Heck, it might be enough that there were people who heard her talk about God when she was having a reaction. Or who know that she's only four, but has a power-packed punch full of faith. The girl knows her Jesus.
And if those reasons are the ones God Has while He chooses to allow us this type of suffering. So be it. I want Him to be glorified however he chooses.
Before I sound like I'm whining, you must admit that you have moutains in your path. Ones you must face each day. What might really be a molehill to someone else is your Mt Everest. For one person it's a hangnail. For the other it's a broken marriage. And to each person, their mountain is huge.
I know that sometimes God chooses to move the mountain. Some people are healed. Some have a miracle baby or see their spouse come to Christ.
But sometimes God lets us dwell. And learn. And change. And eventually He might step on our ant hill & smash it. Or other times we end up with enough of His strength to smash it on our own.
Some people even hang a wreath on their mountain & call it HOME.
I hope I have enough faith to accept whatever He does with the hills & mountains in my path.
9.03.2008
Her Sweet Little Heart
We were on our way to dance class last night when Flynn says in the sweetest voice,
"Mom, I want Jesus in my heart."
And what Momma doesn't melt from that?
"Well Flynn, a while back you said a prayer & invited Jesus into your heart to be your friend forever. But do you wanna say it again?"
"Yes."
And so we did. And she repeated after me.
And let me tell you....there's nothing cuter/sweeter/more precious, than hearing your baby of 4 years saying, "Come into my heart & be my friend forever."
"Mom, I want Jesus in my heart."
And what Momma doesn't melt from that?
"Well Flynn, a while back you said a prayer & invited Jesus into your heart to be your friend forever. But do you wanna say it again?"
"Yes."
And so we did. And she repeated after me.
And let me tell you....there's nothing cuter/sweeter/more precious, than hearing your baby of 4 years saying, "Come into my heart & be my friend forever."
8.17.2008
Angels Rejoicing...
...that THREE kiddos today, in our elementary program, made the decision to follow Christ.
That's something to celebrate!
8.13.2008
A Father's Love
Oh my, keep kleenex handy for this...
I have yet to talk to anyone who hasn't heard the tragic story of the family of Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman.
The youngest son was pulling into the driveway (coming home from college), when his youngest, five year old sister sister came running out, excited that he was home.
He didn't see her & .....
This interview is heart-wrenching, but I think it's good for us parents to watch, hear, read, listen to stuff like this once in a while... to renew our appreciation for the blessings we have.
One part of the interview that caused me to really cry like a baby, was when Steven was talking about right after the accident. He had gotten into a different vehicle to rush to the hospital. And as he was leaving, he rolled down his window & yelled with as much strength that he could muster, 'Your father loves you' to his son who was no doubt losing his mind after what had happened.
I thought that was too important to not point out. And could be applicable in so many situations; but of course, I think of our heavenly Father, who despite the things we've done, never passes up the chance to overlook the circumstances & do His best to make us feel His love.
What an incredible family. What they've gone through is almost too much to even think about. But what a testiment of their faith & how as Christians, we're imperfect...we have questions... we have doubts. But through those dark times, our faith is made perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh2VFkF7NLo
I have yet to talk to anyone who hasn't heard the tragic story of the family of Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman.
The youngest son was pulling into the driveway (coming home from college), when his youngest, five year old sister sister came running out, excited that he was home.
He didn't see her & .....
This interview is heart-wrenching, but I think it's good for us parents to watch, hear, read, listen to stuff like this once in a while... to renew our appreciation for the blessings we have.
One part of the interview that caused me to really cry like a baby, was when Steven was talking about right after the accident. He had gotten into a different vehicle to rush to the hospital. And as he was leaving, he rolled down his window & yelled with as much strength that he could muster, 'Your father loves you' to his son who was no doubt losing his mind after what had happened.
I thought that was too important to not point out. And could be applicable in so many situations; but of course, I think of our heavenly Father, who despite the things we've done, never passes up the chance to overlook the circumstances & do His best to make us feel His love.
What an incredible family. What they've gone through is almost too much to even think about. But what a testiment of their faith & how as Christians, we're imperfect...we have questions... we have doubts. But through those dark times, our faith is made perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh2VFkF7NLo
8.12.2008
Windex Clean
I know my patio doors aren't even close to be smudge-free. Matter of fact, most days you can count the itty-bitty finger prints gracing the lower half of the door.
Apparently tho, there is one (may he rest in peace) bird, who thought the door wasn't a door, yet a welcoming tunnel to some other place he wanted to fly.
Ker'plunk.
And Flynn had to witness it.
So, they assessed the situation & indeed, the bird was deceased. Jeff scooped the bird up with a bag. I think the bird deserved a proper burial, but I wasn't around, so I didn't have a say. Jeff did reassure me that they did pray for the birdy's bird-soul. I also think the bird should've had a ceremony, where the song, "BIRDHOUSE IN MY SOUL" (Might be Giants), played. Again, not present.
But afterward, Flynn was very perplexed. And asked, "Where is bird Heaven?" So, I said what I figured would appease her, "In the sky above human Heaven."
That contented her, so she proceeded to graph it out with her arms, "So this is earth..." (flat sweeping motion with her hand, at waist-height) "....and this is human Heaven...." (fist at her chest) "....and way up high, is Heaven for birds..." (she stretched her hand as high as it would go)
Apparently tho, there is one (may he rest in peace) bird, who thought the door wasn't a door, yet a welcoming tunnel to some other place he wanted to fly.
Ker'plunk.
And Flynn had to witness it.
So, they assessed the situation & indeed, the bird was deceased. Jeff scooped the bird up with a bag. I think the bird deserved a proper burial, but I wasn't around, so I didn't have a say. Jeff did reassure me that they did pray for the birdy's bird-soul. I also think the bird should've had a ceremony, where the song, "BIRDHOUSE IN MY SOUL" (Might be Giants), played. Again, not present.
But afterward, Flynn was very perplexed. And asked, "Where is bird Heaven?" So, I said what I figured would appease her, "In the sky above human Heaven."
That contented her, so she proceeded to graph it out with her arms, "So this is earth..." (flat sweeping motion with her hand, at waist-height) "....and this is human Heaven...." (fist at her chest) "....and way up high, is Heaven for birds..." (she stretched her hand as high as it would go)
8.11.2008
Decisions Made
I get questioned, from a lot of people who seem surprised at some of the decisions we made, as a conservative Christian family.
As a matter of fact, far before we were a family unit, while I was still single, I was asked a lot -- what I would do with a Christian Education.
"Oh, you aren't teaching at a Christian school?"
"No, I'm continuing my education, to be certified for public school."
"Hmm..."
And I promised God, that if I would find favor in Him, I would not disappoint Him.
I hope I never did. I certainly was forthright about my beliefs, and tried as best as I could, to be a positive (non-nerdy) Christian influence/role model/example, for my students, most of whom were telling me on a regular basis that they wished they went to church every Sunday.
Before Christmas break, I read the story of the nativity. A little girl approached me afterward & asked if it was true. I asked her had she ever heard the story? And she said that she had not.
Wow.
And then, the questions again, when we had our own two. Would we homeschool? No we decided (actually w/o ever talking about it). Please understand, if circumstances forced us to, we'd take a different approach to the question.
I pray that Flynn & Gabe will be salt & light. That they'll be a light unable to be hidden. That their strong stance will be even stronger among those who don't stand along side them.
Will Flynn & Gabe go to Christian schools? At this point, no. I realize a million things could change in the next 12 mos (one of them being me being hired by a private school - which would be tough considering I haven't applied at any). Again, w/ the salt & light.
I just asked myself (yes, I talk to myself) if I've said negative things about homeschooling. I couldn't recall a time when I had. Although I strongly believe some parents are very ill-equipped to h.s. (just as some teachers should have travelled down a different career path); so, I say that to say, I don't think this is a dislike against HS'ing. But rather, a decision made for our family.
Should conservative Christian teachers stick to conservative Christian schools??
As a matter of fact, far before we were a family unit, while I was still single, I was asked a lot -- what I would do with a Christian Education.
"Oh, you aren't teaching at a Christian school?"
"No, I'm continuing my education, to be certified for public school."
"Hmm..."
As a strong-minded, spirited & spirit-filled young Christian -- I was happy to take the 'salt & light' stand. Afterall, how bright would my candle be in a room full of other candles?...
And I promised God, that if I would find favor in Him, I would not disappoint Him.
I hope I never did. I certainly was forthright about my beliefs, and tried as best as I could, to be a positive (non-nerdy) Christian influence/role model/example, for my students, most of whom were telling me on a regular basis that they wished they went to church every Sunday.
Before Christmas break, I read the story of the nativity. A little girl approached me afterward & asked if it was true. I asked her had she ever heard the story? And she said that she had not.
Wow.
And then, the questions again, when we had our own two. Would we homeschool? No we decided (actually w/o ever talking about it). Please understand, if circumstances forced us to, we'd take a different approach to the question.
I pray that Flynn & Gabe will be salt & light. That they'll be a light unable to be hidden. That their strong stance will be even stronger among those who don't stand along side them.
Will Flynn & Gabe go to Christian schools? At this point, no. I realize a million things could change in the next 12 mos (one of them being me being hired by a private school - which would be tough considering I haven't applied at any). Again, w/ the salt & light.
I just asked myself (yes, I talk to myself) if I've said negative things about homeschooling. I couldn't recall a time when I had. Although I strongly believe some parents are very ill-equipped to h.s. (just as some teachers should have travelled down a different career path); so, I say that to say, I don't think this is a dislike against HS'ing. But rather, a decision made for our family.
Should conservative Christian teachers stick to conservative Christian schools??
7.08.2008
VBS Night #1
included dry ice...
a white lab coat adding 10 (or 100) pounds...
and my little darling LOVING her evening filled with new songs, yummy snacks, a fun craft, & learning even more about Jesus.5.16.2008
May 16th
Was the due date for the baby I was pregnant with between Flynn & Gabe. Flynn was only 8 months old when I got pregnant & even though we were 'open' to pregnancy at that point (we were wanting to have babies close together & with my lack of ovulation, we figured the best way to do that was to start trying right away after baby Flynn was born), I was pretty surprised to have gotten pregnant without "trying" (clomid, progesterone, glucophage, ovulation calendars/predictors, etc.). And sometimes with the surprise of a pregnancy, comes the unappreciation of it.
We were happy as larks that we were already going to have another (especially with little effort of 'making' that baby) & I seemed to be unstable about those emotions. One minute I'd be on cloud 9, the other I'd be in sheer panic, consulting everyone I knew who had babies 18 months apart.
I recall standing in the water sports aisle at Target. They were marking down all their life preservers, beach toys, swim gear --- which is the time we buy all our stuff for the following summer. Flynn was still considered an infant & so we were deciding (since she was so tiny), if she'd still be wearing infant stuff the following year.
I started to cry, at the overwhelming thought of having TWO babies in the pool that following summer.
I think back to that often. It's one thing I can't get out of my mind as to how I wasn't positive about EVERY single thing having to do with that baby.
So, when I lost that baby, don't you know -- I beat myself up in guilt about all those little moments that I wasn't high as a kite on the thought of the little one growing inside me.
What a hard thing to know life, love that life within you, make plans for that life.... then, just like the moment you learned about that baby, you are losing that baby. And there's nothing you can do.
I've had some pretty tough things happen in my life & have felt complete helplessness in those situations; but nothing like losing the life within you.
The doctor referred to the baby I was losing as a 'fetus', 'tissue', etc. But anyone believing in God-created life, the moment it begins, knows that the instant that baby is thought into existance by our heavenly father, it is a life...a person...a part of your family.
Being a mother losing a baby is a very strange role to be in. And you don't quite know your job in all of it. But grief.
I remember the moments I realized that it was happening -- and called my sister to tell her. It just hurt so much. And I couldn't stop it.
And that night, Jeff held me as I cried myself to sleep.
But was comforted when I remembered that someone hurt about it, just as much as I did. My Father, who was allowing it to happen, was also hurting with me. He was wiping away my tears but no doubt shedding His own.
He knew exactly what it was like to lose your child.
We were of course never sure if that baby was to be our baby girl, or baby boy. But both Jeff & I agreed we felt like the baby was another girl.
And like all hurts, the sting fades just a little bit over time. But didn't quite feel like it was hurting less until my friend brought me a framed drawing. It is a picture of Jesus, holding a baby in an embrace. Just like we would've held that baby. Loving the baby, breathing in the baby, looking at the baby.
I was so comforted by the visual reminder that was the reality. And that when we get to heaven, we'll have a member of the family waiting there. A child we never got to meet here will be waiting for us. But until I'm there to mother that baby, to hold her in my arms like I got to hold my other babies, Jesus will be holding her.
We were happy as larks that we were already going to have another (especially with little effort of 'making' that baby) & I seemed to be unstable about those emotions. One minute I'd be on cloud 9, the other I'd be in sheer panic, consulting everyone I knew who had babies 18 months apart.
I recall standing in the water sports aisle at Target. They were marking down all their life preservers, beach toys, swim gear --- which is the time we buy all our stuff for the following summer. Flynn was still considered an infant & so we were deciding (since she was so tiny), if she'd still be wearing infant stuff the following year.
I started to cry, at the overwhelming thought of having TWO babies in the pool that following summer.
I think back to that often. It's one thing I can't get out of my mind as to how I wasn't positive about EVERY single thing having to do with that baby.
So, when I lost that baby, don't you know -- I beat myself up in guilt about all those little moments that I wasn't high as a kite on the thought of the little one growing inside me.
What a hard thing to know life, love that life within you, make plans for that life.... then, just like the moment you learned about that baby, you are losing that baby. And there's nothing you can do.
I've had some pretty tough things happen in my life & have felt complete helplessness in those situations; but nothing like losing the life within you.
The doctor referred to the baby I was losing as a 'fetus', 'tissue', etc. But anyone believing in God-created life, the moment it begins, knows that the instant that baby is thought into existance by our heavenly father, it is a life...a person...a part of your family.
Being a mother losing a baby is a very strange role to be in. And you don't quite know your job in all of it. But grief.
I remember the moments I realized that it was happening -- and called my sister to tell her. It just hurt so much. And I couldn't stop it.
And that night, Jeff held me as I cried myself to sleep.
But was comforted when I remembered that someone hurt about it, just as much as I did. My Father, who was allowing it to happen, was also hurting with me. He was wiping away my tears but no doubt shedding His own.
He knew exactly what it was like to lose your child.
We were of course never sure if that baby was to be our baby girl, or baby boy. But both Jeff & I agreed we felt like the baby was another girl.
And like all hurts, the sting fades just a little bit over time. But didn't quite feel like it was hurting less until my friend brought me a framed drawing. It is a picture of Jesus, holding a baby in an embrace. Just like we would've held that baby. Loving the baby, breathing in the baby, looking at the baby.
I was so comforted by the visual reminder that was the reality. And that when we get to heaven, we'll have a member of the family waiting there. A child we never got to meet here will be waiting for us. But until I'm there to mother that baby, to hold her in my arms like I got to hold my other babies, Jesus will be holding her.
5.15.2008
Grace
This is an excerpt from Children's Ministry magazine & it's about the things that really matter when you're teaching a lesson to your kids.
I thought this was definitely worth blogging:
"....That's why grace is amazing. It's undeserved, unbelievable, and unfathomable. It flies in the face of justice. It dances on the graves of death. Grace enters the messy and murky. It's also our deepest spiritual need. We all hunger for grace."
Sure, probably the most popular hymn, or even song across the board for that matter - is AMAZING GRACE. But, I still don't think we talk about, think about, concentrate on grace near enough.
The more I read about it, or learn about it, the more the Holy Spirit reveals about it to me, the more I realize how much grace associates with sin. I mean, you can't have grace without it...what would you have to be graceful about?
And sometimes I think that's why lots of churches don't talk about it enough.
But they should. I'm a sinner. You're a sinner. And if you think you're not, you've got a lot to learn. I screw up all the time. All. the. time. And I have to rely on that grace every minute of the day. In every aspect of myself. In my marriage, my motherhood, my family, my friendship, my profession, & most importantly, my relationship with Christ.
I love that hot hubby & I were both brought up with a strong faith. We each brought to our relationship a strong love for God, a loyalty to Him, & a drive to pay homage to Him.
And you always want more for your kids, you want better... And I think what I would sprinkle into the mix of our faith(s) is grace. That no matter what we've done or not done in our lives, our pasts.... no matter how we screwed up yesterday, or this morning.... that it doesn't matter. He's not going to bless us less...or more.... His love is unchanging.
He's ours.
We're His.
I thought this was definitely worth blogging:
"....That's why grace is amazing. It's undeserved, unbelievable, and unfathomable. It flies in the face of justice. It dances on the graves of death. Grace enters the messy and murky. It's also our deepest spiritual need. We all hunger for grace."
Sure, probably the most popular hymn, or even song across the board for that matter - is AMAZING GRACE. But, I still don't think we talk about, think about, concentrate on grace near enough.
The more I read about it, or learn about it, the more the Holy Spirit reveals about it to me, the more I realize how much grace associates with sin. I mean, you can't have grace without it...what would you have to be graceful about?
And sometimes I think that's why lots of churches don't talk about it enough.
But they should. I'm a sinner. You're a sinner. And if you think you're not, you've got a lot to learn. I screw up all the time. All. the. time. And I have to rely on that grace every minute of the day. In every aspect of myself. In my marriage, my motherhood, my family, my friendship, my profession, & most importantly, my relationship with Christ.
I love that hot hubby & I were both brought up with a strong faith. We each brought to our relationship a strong love for God, a loyalty to Him, & a drive to pay homage to Him.
And you always want more for your kids, you want better... And I think what I would sprinkle into the mix of our faith(s) is grace. That no matter what we've done or not done in our lives, our pasts.... no matter how we screwed up yesterday, or this morning.... that it doesn't matter. He's not going to bless us less...or more.... His love is unchanging.
He's ours.
We're His.
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