Vision Questions for 2009

1. What skill do you most want to learn this year?
Maybe learn some new dishes (that are CHEAP). But more importantly, learn the skill of, um, BEING PATIENT (is that a skill or a virtue or what??)
2. What is one skill you already have that you’d like to improve this year?
turkey sounds. no kidding.
but really, i don't know so much a bout improving it (I think it's already perfected).
i think i'm a decent teacher. and am super frugal. so maybe a frugal teacher? i could go out on the road w/ that? a traveling frugal teacher show?
shoot, this is supposed to be serious. okay. a'hem.
i want to be more organized w/ my frugality techniques. like, finding/cutting a coupon does you no good if u let it expire. etc.
3. Name three books you most definitely want to read in 2009.
1.the bible
2.sacred marriage (started last yr, never finished)
3.a praying wife. and finish the other ones i started in '08.
4. In what specific area do you most want to encourage your spouse?
one time i read an article about a dad... he was talking about how his wife & him are supposed to be a team. only he feels like she's the coach & he's on the team. and i laughed. but then felt really guilty. becuz i talk a big talk about how we're a team, but then i'm constantly yelling to him that he's up to bat.
i would like to remind him that he is the lead of our relationship. and encouragement does not come from my words, yet from my deeds. and i've become increasingly conscientious about how my actions have been a reminder to him that i want to be in charge. but i really don't. really. i want to encourage him to feel comfortable in his spiritual role as the head of our home.
What are some ways you can do this?
by being a constant reminder that i am to submit to him. and that doesn't mean, "honey, you make the decision." but then when he decides to buy a black microwave instead of a white one, that i sulk for 5 years until that one breaks (or until he gets tired of my pouting & buys a white one). that's not a true story...but it sounds true, doesn't it?
i would never ask one of my kids to do something that's new to them, then criticize how they did it. so why should i do that to my spouse.
i will PRAYERFULLY practice not only my role, but practice being a support to the role that God has given jeff.
5. Think of one of your major life goals. What will you do this year to make you one step closer to reaching that goal?
believe it or not, in my life, i set goals. and i've reached them all. no joke. they were (marry, be a mom, and be a teacher). i've done them all.
but i'm not teaching right now. and i miss it HORRIBLY.
6. Name your kids’ biggest strengths. What are some ways you can specifically nourish those strengths?
Flynn has a God-given artistic gift. I'm not just being a proud mom. She does things artistically that far surpass what is age-appropriate. I see that in many areas in her little life. I'm going to work extra hard this year to give her opportunity to develop that. And I don't just mean buying new paints for our art carts. She needs a new avenue to explore her skills.
Gabe is very musical. Most of the songs he 'sings' are only recognizable by their tune (thank God he can carry a tune, because you certainly can't understand his words!). For a while now, when he hears piano, he will put his fingers up, as tho he is playing one. He got a guitar from santa & is REALLY into it.
I would like to see what our options might be (financially) to pursue lessons of some kind.
7. Name your kids’ most prominent weakness. What are some ways you can encourage their ability to overcome it?
Something I've noticed in Flynn, in just the last couple of weeks, is that she's starting to REALLY care what other people think of her. That's okay to a certain extent. I'm afraid that her self conciousness could be partly due to the fact that we trained her so hard to behave & be aware of others & their feelings. It's great to have a well-behaved child, but not if it means breaking their spirit.
Lately, she has started to get dressed, or accessorized & she paused. I can tell she's thinking. Then she'll ask me, "Do you think _____ will like my shirt?" etc.
It pains me. I want her to like herself first. And others accepting her as a bonus.
How can I do this? For starters, Jeff & I need to lay off our discipline. We've recognized & agreed that we've been too strict on her. We've made a perfect child & that only does everyone else good. Not her.
I want to build up in her an esteem that comes from her knowing that her worth lies in God. That she IS beautiful & that thinking that she is, is what's important. I really could care less what others think about me (to an extent) & I pray that some of that rubs off on her. She needs to be secure in herself. To grow into being a healthy whole... so that she's not constantly seeking validation from others.
Gabe's weaknesses are not as easy to pinpoint. He has some 'difficulties' going on. And we're in the process of diagnosing those, so we can move forward.
Gabe has a strength, that is also a weakness. And that is that his love language is touch. He loves to be loved on. But it also works against him. Disciplining him has been a challenge. And even things done out of love seem to aggravate the process.
I believe that we are encouraging others to help us help him to overcome what he has been fighting against.
But I certainly don't want to get caught up in the process & forget about the one we're fighting for.
What I've already seen us doing is re-evaluating some of the stuff we found important before. And deciding which battles are worth picking.
And remember that above all, our children seeing their parents' marriage as a united front, is the most beneficial thing we can do for them.
8. What is one of your strengths? Think of some specific ways you can exercise it this year.
I am very administrative (read: bossy). I can be (used to be) very organized. And probably the biggest strength is my creativity.
Whenever I read those traits, I instantly think of teaching, as it incorporates all of those attributes.
But also good parenting comes from those, if channeled properly.
I hope to tune those strengths into good home management. Put the unimportant things on the back burner & use my time wisely, first, on the things that help our home run smoothly.
9. What is one of your weaknesses? Brainstorm some ideas on how you can overcome this deficiency.
I battle anxiety. And some days it seems to be what's in charge of me. God is the sole provider of my peace & carefreeness. So, if I don't start my day off with Him & time spent 'with' Him, I can forget about relaxing at all (at any capacity).
My anxiousness can sometime lead way to negativity, if I let it. Which can snowball into a desperate feeling of there's nothing we can do about it.
There are some things you have no control over. And at that fork in the road, you make the decision, do I buck up & deal. Or do I go down the path of letting our battle consume us?
My practical ideas include:
prayer - a time in the morning, when I resolved to start my day (which effects the days of so many others) with God. Praising Him & asking Him to be in charge of my life, my world, & my family. To give me the 'things' I need to love others.
water - it sounds so stupid. but i get too busy to even drink sometimes. and dehydration leads to fatigue, and fatigue will feed into any problem you have potential of having.
attitude - keep working toward what i've been working toward my whole life... and that's NOT LETTING THINGS BOTHER ME. i can't. literally. if something bothers me, my blood pressure goes up. and widowing my hot hubs & leaving my kids w/o a momma, becuz i can't let things roll off my shoulder, seem PRETTY SILLY. right? i'm actively working toward a solution for this. short of a personality transplant. ;)
10. Think of an important relationship aside from your spouse and children. How will you nurture that relationship this year?
i instantly think of God here. and that would be the relationship more important than ALL others (including spouse & children).
nurturing it includes:
prayer
time reading the bible
meditation (a scripture of the day, muttering it under my breath all day, in line at the store, in the car)
sharing Him w/ others.
11. Name a few ways your physical health could be improved.
see nine.
i also need an exercise regiment. and becuz of lack of finances. lack of space. lack of time. it constantly gets shoved to the back burner.
12. Name a few ways your family’s financial health could be improved.
we've actually tweaked & creaked a budget. there's not a lot more that can change aside from more income.
i think that this year will be the year we see more freedom with that. and that's me having faith that full time work will come my way.
when that day does come, there will be a big temptation to spend. and we can't. we have to be responsible with what God gives us. that means sticking to our budget, even when my income doubles. we have lots of swimming to do until we reach debt-free shore. and right now, we're doggy-paddling.
some things we are committed to:
keeping our cars for years & years until they literally die
buying a modest house, whose mortgage won't be a lot more than the cheap one we have
not adding things to our monthly payments
financial freedom through no debt
13. In what way do you want to draw closer to God?
i blogged about this yesterday, but I want to know Him so strongly that i start to see His attributes THROUGH me. that even i am shocked when i see my actions reflecting Him.
14. What is one area of home management that frustrates you? Think of some specific ways you could improve your attitude about it.
disorganization. it gives me anxiety. it LITERALLY can make me sick. it's a waster.
ways to improve my attitude? i dont' know that i should feel differently about it. becuz not being organized can reak havoc on our home.
15. We're going to make a family mission statement.
16. Name one specific thing you could do with your spouse this year that will deepen your intimacy.
We have been so good about praying together EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, and sadly, we've slacked as of late. It might not immediately seem to negatively effect us, but how could it not??
I'd love to take a weekend trip away w/ Jeff. We have NEVER done this since having kids (all we've gotten away together has been a night). It would be nice to pack up some stuff & head out of dodge. And concentrate on just each other all weekend. But financially, I don't see it happening this year.
17. What is something that is continually undone in your life? What will you do to fully complete it this year?
I have lots of 'projects' that I start & don't finish. They might be small but I would like to finish them. Esp scrapbooking. I'm losing memories that should be documented. I would at least like to finish my kids' baby books.
18. In what ways will you be involved with your local community?
I don't know. I'd like to think that my work in my home church positively effects the community.
19. What is one thing you’d like to accomplish by your birthday this year?
Losing 20+ more pounds.
20. Think of three words you’d like to describe your 2009.
Health. Wholeness. Contentment.