Fed Up with the System

I'm just now calm enough to talk about this w/o bursting into tears.

Before I get all dramatic on you, I'll back up.

I blogged about Gabe's speech issues here, and here. And to get the real low-down on my boy's down-low, type SPEECH into my search bar, up there.

Long story short, he's always struggled & because he can't communicate, it ends up in tantrums, or crying, or someone not being understanding because he can't be understood.... long story short, FRUSTRATION (for all parties).

He's only 3 & he's already been made fun of by peers & even an adult or two.

It probably hurts me worse because of my education & experience, knowing that window of development is closed & even the drapes are starting to close.

So, when he had an IEP meeting in Dec., which led to further testing, and another meeting today, to explain what he had qualified for, I was anxious. This has been AN EIGHTEEN MONTH PROCESS, I kid you not. I have been actively pursuing therapy for him since he turned 2. In 2 weeks, he will be 42 months old. Three and a half years, and he has yet to say his sister's name correctly, or even able to tell me what he wants for dinner.

I've bent over backwards to make it work. We've spent about $1,000 (that we DON'T have) to get him evaluated & get him therapy. He was referred by the pediatrician exactly a year ago. And 10 mos ago, one of the two children's hospitals in St Louis did an extensive eval on him (as well as a hearing test) & deemed him very much in need of help.

The Scottish Rite (masons) provide a free service for speech. I pursued that. Took him to an evaluation for that (which happened to be 1/2 an hour away DURING NAP TIME) in which he qualified. I had to jump through more hoops to be put on a waiting list. We received the call that his name was finally on the top of the list THE DAY WE GOT THE CALL FROM THE SCHOOL DISTRICT that Gabe's referral had been received...I foolishly told them to give our spot to another child, as we were going to receive services from Special School District (or 'Special Services' as it's called out here in the sticks).

When I showed up for the IEP meeting in Dec., as I blogged, the SLP (speech/language pathologist) wanted to do further testing. This should've made me happy, only I felt very unsettled about it. During the whole meeting, I got vibes from her that perhaps she didn't want to take on Gabe's case.
I passed the feeling off to just being overwhelmed w/ the process.

Last month, after filling out about 7 packets, getting the DR to fax 2 forms, making copies of birth certificates, immunizations, & other necessary papers....
making it to 3 meetings.,
pulling him out of school TWICE,
having Jeff miss 2 mornings of work,
Gabe was evaluated again.

And today, we reconveined to get results & find out what Gabe qualifies for.

Big.

Fat.

NOTHING.

Yep, you read right. We went into this meeting, that started w/ the other party claiming that although Gabe showed such progress that his numbers didn't qualify him, (which alone SHOCKS me), that we would talk & come to a consensus.

We talked. But there was NO consensus. Matter of fact, I hesitated to sign the paper stating I was present & given a copy of the report.

TIMELINE:

24 mos (aug '07) Dr acknowledges Gabe's speech being behind & tells me to call in six months if he's not forming a 3-word sentence.

30 mos (feb '08) I call & tell ped's office that he's still not talking. A referral is made, meaning, they give me the number to special school district.
I call SSD & they tell me I"m out of their district.
They give me the number to Sensory Solutions.
SS is 45 mins away & isn't covered by the insurance.
I call the insurance co. & argue. Cry. And get mad.

32 mos (apr'08)
We decide to have Gabe tested anyway w/ the understanding that we'll be paying for everything otu of our pockets.
Results show that Gabe needs several hours of therapy each week.
At $150/hr, it's not something that we can pay for, since insurance won't cover it.

33 mos (may '08)
I make an appt w/ scotish rite. I collect/copy/fax necessary paperwork & drive both kids there. Gabe is evaluated & found to be in need of therapy.
I write the necessary letter to plead for help & am accepted by the S.R.
Gabe is put on the 6-mo waiting list.

Same month, we call Christine, who was 6 mos shy of receiving her Masters in S & L. We talk to her about hiring her to do some private therapy for Gabe.
We pay her what we can, she lovingly & sweetly visits as often as she can & we see real strides in Gabe.

36 mos (aug '08)
Christine must stop therapy to finish her schooling.
Within the month, everyone in Gabe's life notices his speech regressing.

38 mos (oct '08)
P.A.T. visits & refers us to have an evaluation done through their program. Tells us PAT will call us.
Later that month, I still haven't heard from them, so I bother my PAT educator again. Within a week, we receive a call to make an appt.

39 mos (nov'08)
PAT screening. Gabe is referred to Special Services Co'op for his speech delay. Within days, we receive a call from the SSC coordinator. She makes the Dec appt for us to meet for Gabe's IEP.
Within days, I receive a call from Jacob, Gabe's would-be therapist from the Scotish Rite. I thank him kindly for the offer, but give up Gabe's spot, as I foolishly felt we should just pursue therapy through the district (I'd heard it was probably higher quality).

40 mos (dec'08)
1sst meeting w/ SSC.
SLP expresses more concern (after just hearing me talk about gabe's frustrations & habits) than SL. SUspects Sensory issues. Recommends further eval by PT & OT.
I grungingly consent.

41 mos (jan'09)
Gabe spend the morning being eval'ed by PT, OT, & a bit by SLP. After lots of prep at home, bribery, & praise by me, Gabe performs excellently. So much so, they say they're shocked at how well he does.

42 mos (feb'09)
At Gabe's IEP meeting, we're eventually told he does not qualify for help at this time. Despite our pleads & debate, we're told that they can not make a professional judgement that he receive therapy, as "DESE just wrote us a letter 2 weeks ago, that we must stick to the numbers." We are also told that Gabe's hyperactivity most likely is the culprit to his speech problems & that he most likely is dropping off beginning & ending sounds on account of his lack of attention.

I cried the whole way home today. I yelled & possibly said a bad word or two. I got mad that I have in the past compromised my job by stretching things & numbers so that a family receives the services I know they deserved.
I just want the same.

Jeff & I are praying. That the SSC coordinator will feel convicted. And that she'll revisit this case & do the right thing. Because waiting another 6 mos for him to be retested means another 1/2 year of him being frustrated that no one can understand him.
We are also praying that despite their rules state that once you've given up a spot on their list, you can not be reconsidered, that S.R. will accept Gabe back onto the list, for therapy through their system.
We're also praying for patience, not only w/ Gabe (believe me, sometimes I'm just as frustrated as him!), but w/ those involved in this trying process. I want to have grace & mercy, even when the things I hear break my heart.

Sometimes Preschool Moms are Mean

I've vented before about the door ding on the parking lot. I haven't blogged about how most parents are nice that I am forced to interact with in my children's circles. But there's a good percentage of them who either want to be left alone, or are having a bad day -- everyday.

This morning it was pretty cold. I happily gave Flynn's BFF a ride to school (they're in the same class) because her momma had to be at work early. And it's a Baby Lua day, so I had 4 sweeties to get out the door this morning.
Madelyn is no trouble, she actually was probably a motivator for my girl. But for whatever reason, my kids were moving slow. And after Hot Hubs forgot to leave (& install) the spare car seat, I had to think quickly.
Which meant using the baby's infant carrier. And miraculously getting it through the carseat jungle that exists in our minivan.
I had everyone triple bundled. And my hernia was screaming for mercy as I kept the baby in her carrier (for warmth, as she didn't have a big coat on)...and even tho she weighs no more than a yellow pages phone book, her carrier is one heavy mother.

I realize the daunting task of getting a quiver full of children out of the car, cross a parking lot, & into a building....all while playing frogger to get through the 50+ cars that are zipping on & off the lot. I understand the trouble of carrying a carrier & navigating a kiddo (no names mentioned, Bubs) to safety when he doesn't listen.

And when I got up the 2nd flight of steps into the school & remembered our gal pal's seat (to leave for her g'ma) was still in the van, I may have murmered 'crap' under my breath, as that meant the baby & I making another trip out the car. (amanda, don't feel bad!! --- this helps my story!!) Oh well, I think, I missed my work out last night (wii boxing anyone?!), so lugging this 30 lbs down & up again, won't hurt my jiggly arm thingies I have going.

But I never considered just leaving the baby in the car. It's a lot of trouble, but I didn't give it a thought.
However, a parent there did. She zipped up into the parking lot as I was headed out to get that cute pastel booster. I saw through the glass the infant carrier handle (which I was becoming all too familiar with at that given second) locked into place, sleeping baby inside. I have talked to this parent before & knew anyway, that the baby was probably inside. And was going to offer to stand by her car for her -- but she moved quickly past, rushing her kiddo inside (he was already late).

My little Lua & I grabbed Madelyn's booster & headed back inside. As I laid it by the coats, I caught her arguing w/ her preschooler & trying to convince him that he was staying. So I realize already, she was probably having a bad day, but...

"Hey there. I was going to tell you -- if I'm ever in the parking lot when you get here, I'm happy to wait by your car while you run in" (interrupted by her holding up her key) "He's fine. The car is running & locked & I have a key."
She was clearly ticked off that I said anything. I must have struck a nerve.
"Okay, well, I don't mind -- I'm not usually in a hurry" (interrupted again) "It's too D*MN cold for me to get him out & I have to deal with HIM" (referring to her preschooler, who is still insistant on NOT staying).
Then I looked at the baby in my arms, wondering how it's not too cold for her & the other 50 babies I saw 10 minutes prior -- whose moms didn't leave them in their cars.

I'm not judging. If she thinks that's safe enough, it's up to her. But I did think it was kinda odd that I was being nice & offered to do something for her that she found pretty offensive.
She was clearly going to go in w/o the baby, whether or not I offered her help, so I was offering for the baby's sake.
But she didn't know my motives. She was ticked nonetheless.

Eesh, preschool parenthood & the mommy club...
I don't think I'll be nominated PTO President.

Opinions are like Backsides

Everyone has one -- and they all sm- well, I'll let you finish that.

And that's about how I feel lately. Like if someone else tells me what they think about something I do, feel, celebrate, eat, wear - or what my child wears, I think I will scream.

If I get another email about why you don't celebrate Halloween or have another person tell me that they're shocked my 4-year old daughter chose to dress up as a little orange, purple, & black witch*, I might cough in your face (incidentally, I'm also a little sick).

I always told my 3rd graders, "MYOB" (mind your own beeswax) & maybe I should bring the phrase back?

So, let's dig into it. Convictions that is. And talk about whom should be convicting whom. And how everyone has a line they don't cross (conviction) & how finding one other person to perfectly share your convictions is about like finding 2 matching snowflakes. As close as Jeff & I are to being one person, we don't even share the same convictions. And while I have lots of "easy-to-measure" convictions (legalism?), I fall short in lots of internal ways (perfectionism, judgementalism, impatience, over-sensitivity, unreachably expectantivism - I know, not a word). I will do some things that you won't do. You will do some things that I won't do. We all have dirt under our rugs somewhere --- some people sweep it further, others don't. God sees the dirt. Some other people see the dirt. And some people have such perfect rugs (the ones with gold tassels) that no one even suspects a fleck of dust lays under there. But it's there.

I just think it's extremely interesting that some people are so proud of their convictions that they want to share them with as many people as they can. Even more interesting when they share them with others who share the same convictions.

What if one day I 'decided' that the color blue was un-Christlike. And so, I got all the things out of my house that were blue. And then I blogged & sent out emails that were about the evils of the color blue. And that's about how I feel about some of the things people tell me they THINK are wrong. I'm like, "good for you that you are being proactive about something in your life that you think is unhealthy for your walk with Christ." But I'm also thinking that I don't see a thing wrong with blue & even after going back into the word & researching 'blue', I don't find anything that convicts me about that color.

I honestly am not bothered after someone passes judgement about a conviction I don't share. I just figure that I just need to pray for them, that they'll feel bad about being judgemental.

Maybe I should send out a mass email about that.

Just kidding.

*Just so we're clear, only one person said something.

Bad News First

Bad news:
I got an oil change on the van this morning at Walmart --
It took 90 minutes and the tv in the waiting "area" was broken. No crayons. No books. My bag of tricks was left behind, as I never dreamed it would take 75 minutes for our car just to be pulled into the bay.
Good news:
Gabe likes milk duds.

Speaking of Pigs Wearing Lipstick *edited to include my smoky neighbors

I think it's time -- it's hump day, which certainly merits a pet peeve list.

Ooh, oh, topping the charts instead are my hoosier neighbors who smoke within 20 feet of my open windows.
Open windows + stinky cancer sticks + my attic fan = my kids breathing my neighbors cig smoke.
AWESOME.

Topping the chart today is the misspelling of the word DEFINITELY.

It "drives on my nerves" (as Flynn says) when people spell it defiAntLy. Like a form of the word defiant.

#2. People working hard to convince you of something, just for the sake of convincing you. My vote for Obama (which is nonexistent) isn't going to make him president. I doubt it will be a ONE VOTE difference. So, don't try to talk me into it, when you know that I'm a conservative. If I've ever been coined for a cause, it's pro-life. Do you really think I'm going to vote for someone who considers it a choice for a woman to make? That sounds really great wrapped up, but the bottom line is a baby is dying.
After you lose a baby, you have a deeper understanding of the sanctity of life. And while on bed rest with Flynn, hoping she'd stay in the oven & cook a little longer, I often wondered how that life inside could be an inconvenience.
Anyway, I'm not going to get de-railed on a pro-life / pro-choice post, but if Obama had 9 points I liked (which isn't the case), a 10th of pro-choice, would knock me to the other side.
Case closed.

#3. People who should yield at a solid green (while turning left), but try to beat you off the line & turn in front of you. It's times like those, I wish our cars were rubber, so I could just bumper car the person.

#4. Long distances. And driving them.

#5. Those pesky fruit flies. That seem to be free with a bunch of bananas. And is it me, or are they everywhere right now?!

#6. Bronchitis.

#7. Hernias. No I am not kidding.

#8. How loud attic fans are.

#9. Coughing.

#10. Fat. Muffin Tops. Weighing 40 lbs more than my wedding day.

'Nuff said.

We Should Be a Reality Show

We've been saying that ever since we said "I do" & it only seems to ring more true through time & all the experiences we - well, experience.

And not exempt from that are the W E I R D neighbors we have.

Let me just give a little background info to paint an accurate picture.

Our subdivision is a pretty nice one. The oldest home is probably less than seven years, ours is six years old, & the newest are just a couple of years old. Most of the subdivision is made of homeowners who show a great deal of care of their home & lawn, & appear to be pretty wonderful people to live next to.

We don't live on that street.

No sir.

We live in party cove. On frat row. Where the living's good & people party like it's 1999.

For real.

Now the craziest we get here is a little game night now & again. Or having friends over for a dinner that extends to the late hour of 10 o'clock.

Insanity.

But I realize that a good portion of the world, live a tad different than us. And so with that understanding is a realization that our neighbors are going to have some fun every once in a while that might mean more cars in our cul de sac, or some laughter outside our window while we're watching the nightly news (on the tv we don't have).

What I don't understand, is the neighbors to our left, who we refer to as "Bussies" (because she drives a small bus which she parks IN HER DRIVEWAY or ON OUR ROAD between bus runs or when she's home for lunch --I wish I was joking!!), partying in their INFLATABLE pool, with ANOTHER COUPLE, at 1 a.m., with their 1980's BOOMBOX pumping out some classic rock.

Or how ONLY 4 people sounded like 10 outside our window while I tried to get a good night's sleep (because some people get up early on a Sunday morning).

And how it sounded like they were tearing down our privacy fence & throwing around an empty bucket.

Also, why would you crank up a radio to unbelievable decibals, while entertaining another couple.?

Another reason we're ready to move.

Pet Peeve

When ONE HOUR PHOTO takes more than one hour.
(why would I pay extra for a service that you're not providing??)

Sicky

I have been sick since Tuesday. Actually, since this past weekend. Actually, if you want to get technical, I bled for 27 days. Then went to the doctor to see 'what's with the month-long period?' only to find a cyst in my left ovary. But that's beside the point.
Over the weekend, and our camping goodness, I happened to run out of singulair - just in time for some one-on-one with Missouri mold. Which may have been a spring-board for the most miserable allergies I have ever had in my life. These last few days have given me a new-found sympathy for my girl, who faces these symptoms, day in & day out.
SO ....
meanwhile, while going back on the pill to stop the month of bleeding, my blood pressure has decided to fight the hormones by going on to 165ish over 100ish. Consistantly, for the last few days.
Now, the medical professionals will tell you that there are NO symptoms for high blood pressure. But as someone who has had high BP for close to ten years, I will tell you: hogwash. As a matter of fact, ther ereason I knew my bp was going up, was the artery on my neck started to feel 'bulging.' And the headache, oh the headache. And that headache got so bad Wed night that it made me ill. Literally. I spent 1/2 the night sitting on Gabe's potty stool in an intimate position around the toilet.
It topped the charts as one of the top 3 times of being sick.
And I've had some doozies.

I am very guilty of being one of those people who scolf at allergies, roll my eyes at ulcers... guilty of not being sympathetic til given opportunity to be empathetic. In other words, I don't feel bad 'til I walk in your shoes.
And let me tell you, allergies suck.
If that even is what I have.
This feeling of having a dull hunting knife jabbing into the side of my head & being twisted. Or a random swelling of my right eye, wherin it nearly closes & tears.
Good times.
Memories.

So, I lay here - thankful for Vanessa in the next room playing with the kids, keeping them safe & happy. And I throw back the benadryl, take the tylenol to stop my headache, & check the bp.

Pet Peeve of the Day

When people think that because I work mostly from home, I don't really work.

The Part Where I Want to Kick Someone In the Throat

...on account of reading some of the comments posted here. In response to our MLB stadium making a decision to open a peanut free section (ONE section) at one of the games this season (ONE game), they opened the question up to some the fine (using the term loosely) readers on their site.

Some people still think that parents of allergy kids are overreacting & blowing things out of proportion.
I wish those people had been around the evening last summer when Flynn's airway closed. And then I could've jammed the giant needle of the epi-pen into their leg as well.

As I read, I thought to myself, 'Really? Are there really people that ignorant? Really?'

And then I commented. And so did Jeff. And I wanted to kick someone in the throat.

So That's How it Works

Back in January, I got the idea that I wanted to join a gym. Curves specifically (a women-only, circuit work out place). Knowing that the monthly payment was not welcome anywhere in our budget, I tried to brainstorm the best (only) way to make it work.

So, I figured, if I could get a job there, part time, working say - one or two evenings per week, I would not only have a TINY bit of spending money, but would have a free membership, PLUS, would be killing two birds with one stone by working out on the evenings I'm already there working.

So, I went one morning, walked in & said to the employee, "Hi there. Can I have an application?"
She quickly cut me off, "Oh, we're not hiring."

I knew she wasn't the owner or the manager, so I was surprised to hear her answer that way. In my days of management at different companies, you always took applications of individuals who seemed like they could make an outstanding employee. I mean, I don't have MASTERS DEGREE stamped on my forehead, but you know what I mean.

I persisted, "Well, can I fill out an application anyway?"
Her: Sure.

The whole time I was filling it out, I had a feeling that my application was going to get tossed the minute I walked out the door. But, wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt & filled it out except for one phone number.
And the next day, I called back (figuring there'd be a different person working) to give the "missing" phone number.
"Well hon, I don't see your application anywhere. Hmmm. Maybe the owner took it? Well, I'll just write the phone number on a sticky note & put it in her box."

I wanted to tell her that I figured she could find the application because it's probably been shredded, but I didn't.

Granted, I'm not a fitness guru or have the body of Jane Fonda 35 years ago (or even today!), but I figure that I'm of a 'mature' age, have a decent education, lots of great work experience, & darn good references. Especially for a minimum wage job opening or locking a door to open a gym that pretty much runs itself. As far as I can see, the hardest part of the job is listening to a 70-year old woman talk about all the great deals she got a Dollar General that morning.

Fast forward four months. On a 'trial' (free) 3-week membership to Curves, I've been faithfully working my behind (well, one of the four) off. There is a young girl (like 20) who works there. She's very sweet. And she's VERY chatty. Like divulges lots of info. So, I said to her, "So Angie, have you worked here long?"
Angie: About 4 mos.
Me- thinking, hm, that's about the time I came in inquiring about a job.

Later, me: "Angie, do you go to church anywhere?"
Angie tells me the church she attends & starts telling me about allll the people who she attends church w/ who work out at curves.
And then.
She tells me.
"And you know Carol? She works here." She proceeds to describe the lady who "took" my application back in January & told me that they aren't hiring.
"well, Carol got me the job here. She really wanted me to get to work here."

Ahhh. Hm. So that's how it works?

PS Monday night, I heard Angie talking to a member, "So you said you were on a trip? In Albuquerque? Where's that?"

Apparently geography is not a job requirement.

Amy and the Aggravating, Very Annoying, Not Bad, Very Good Day

This is another one of those posts wherein I complain; whilst those of you who have 'real' cause to complain roll your eyes at me & mutter under your breath how blessed I am & how dare I be negative.
I hear ya chirpin'.
BUT, we all have a right to vent & be heard, and my blog is that very outlet.
So, here goes...

Gabe for whatever reason will not walk down the steps anymore. I don't know why, he just stands at the top & tells me something important, only I don't understand what he's saying. And while I make several trips downstairs to the car before we actually leave to go somewhere, I don't want one of those to include carrying his 2-yr old self. Get with the program Bubby.

So, we leave this morning, with no time to spare (my fault, I know), to head toward 'the city', to have Gabe's audiology screening done. It was next door to the hospital where Flynn was born, in a medical building.
And if you know anything about medical buildings, you know the parking can down right stink. So, imagine my delight when I pull into the closest row & spot a person climbing into their Explorer at the end space closest to the crosswalk. Woohoo, I let out a relieved call (because, remember, I didn't have time to spare) as we had approximately 2 minutes to unload people from car seats, cross the walk, go up in the elevator, & find an office we'd never been to.
So, we patiently wait as the man adjusts his seat, puts on his seat belt...apparently does the 5-point check list he learned 60 years prior in Drivers' Ed. I found myself tapping my finger on the steering wheel but reassured myself, 'Hey! Close spot! No prob!!'
That was moments before I saw a grey malibu rounding the corner of the row. The way I was positioned, it was going to be easy for me to just pull straight into the spot, as the row I was perpendicular to was shorter than the row I'd be joining. But, alas! Old Lady Malibu had other plans. And as Explorer finally started backing out, he did so in the manner which blocked me & allowed Old Lady Malibu to TAKE OUR SPOT.
No I'm not kidding!
What you ask?, perhaps she didn't know we were waiting for the spot??
Then, the 10 honks I sounded BEFORE she pulled into the spot should've been a notice for her. But she just looked at us & proceeded. So, the next 40 honks were just for Pete's sake.
And when Flynn asked why I honked, I was honest, "I'm just a little aggravated 'cause that lady took our spot."
"She butted? That's not nice."
"No honey, it's not."

Then, she tried, re-tried, & tried again to get her malibu perfect into the straight simple space. And as we trudged across the parking lot, 1 large (awesome) purse, 1 medicine backpack, & a diaper bag; along with a toddler who didn't want to walk, and a preschooler who wanted to do balance beam on all the curbs, we ended up walking by Old Lady Malibu as she FINALLY was finished parking & was getting out of her car. (sorry for the longest run-on sentence in the world there).
Did I want to say something?
Heck yah.
But the honking was enough of a lesson to my kids on how mommy is just human.

Then, we get into the waiting room at exactly the appointment time. I sign him in & let Flynn choose where we would sit. She chose a row behind the only people in the waiting room. I talked her into one more row away, so as not to crowd 'Fake Ponytail' & her daughter. Fake Ponytail spent a great deal of time looking me up & down while I signed Gabe in. I even made eye contact with FP to let her know 'I see you checking me out Fake Ponytail. And is that a fake ponytail?'
FP took the next 30 minutes (yep, that's how long we waited out there) being subconciously rude. Rolling her eyes when Gabe was making a repetitive noise with a toy & sharply telling her mini ponytailed daughter to turn around when she was just watching my kids with their toys; which was totally normal for her mini me to curious about the surrounding children, plus it was something to do.

So, after waiting 30 minutes, the hearing professional (don't know her exact title), spent all of ten minutes with us to tell us that yes, Gabe's hearing is within the normal range. Something really sweet tho, was that she then pulled out a rubbermaid tote full of brand new dollar store toys & let each kiddo pick something out, while she typed up the results. While I completely guide my children's choices, there are some things worth letting them make a decision all on their own. This was such a case. And, after strong warning from me, "Flynn, remember the paddle & ball you got for Valentine's Day that broke right away? This is like that & probably won't last long. Look at this cute ball & scoop set, that'd be fun at the park later." I probably said that five times. But, but, but....
She chose the ball & paddle.
And.
It broke 2 minutes down the road.
What you say? She had plenty of other toys??
That's what I said through the ten minutes of tears. And, not letting a learning opportunity pass me by, I reminded PaddleGirl that I warned her & that she needs to listen better to Momma, who knows all about things breaking & cheap toys. And everything else in the world. Forever.

Fast forward to the park. This is the park close to the hospital. And is VERY COOL. We rarely go as it's so far & so, when in the neighborhood & it's not one of the 100 days it's rained so far this spring, we stop by for a good time.
That's what all the moms in West St Louis county must've said this morning.
Have I mentioned that I'm Crowd Overly Conscious? In other words, I hate waiting, my kids waiting, and 30 other snotty noses on the same play structure as my 2 snotty-nosed kids. But hey, we're practically in the city right?, when in Rome, I say...Let's play! Let's have fun! Now GO!
And they went. And had fun. And were perfectly polite (no bias there or overexagerration, the kids are gold in public).
Enter: Overly Protective Mom in a Fanny Pack (for the sake of time & cyberspace, we'll further refer to her as OPMFP).
OPMFP had a cute little boy about 3 or so months younger than the Bubmeister, who plays on his own & has for quite sometime now.
Now, I must step in & admit some overly-protectiveness myself here....I have been deemed a mom who shelters her kids & by golly, I don't mind it a bit...as long as it's not affecting others.
Okay, so picture a pretty large play structure: 3 slides, 2 sets of steps, 2 bridges, a climbing wall, a ladder, lots of bells & whistles.
To the side, note, a toddler structure - really small scale. Based around a tunnel in the middle, shallow steps, & a teeny tiny slide. All of this a'top the really soft rubber squares. In other words this little tod deal, NO ONE is going to get hurt on this thing. I'm convinced that an infant could randomly roll around & not get so much as a scratch.
OPMFP did NOT think so. She let her two year old climb up the steps as she WALKED BEHIND HIM. Um, lady, do you realize there's only like 2 steps & you could more accurately reach out your hand & secure your kid WHO DOESN'T NEED SECURING?
She didn't realize. And as I approached the structure because Gabe had already ran to it & was up one step, OPMFP had started to panic because OMIGOSH, my TWO YEAR OLD is climbing through the safe, perfectly level & danger-free tunnel ALL BY HIMSELF, I must *IMMEDIATELY* be at the other end of the tunnel because if I don't, LORD HELP US ALL, he might just do something without me, like practice some independence.
What you say? It's her perrogative?
Wrongo, not when she STARTS BACK DOWN THE STEPS in a panicked attempt to get to the other end of the whopping 2-ft long tunnel, she didn't bother looking behind her where Gabe is waiting his turn.
As she blindsides him & doesn't stop, doesn't apologize, just keeps saying, "Omigosh honey, wait for me!!", she acted like he was about to step off the side of the Empire State building. She never looked back to see if the kid she knocked backward was okay or if he suffered fanny pack abrasion.
That won the annoying award for the day. And her prize was me saying, "Oh gees, Gabe!, watch out...for.....the, uh, mom!"

Then, when we finally arrived home after the day's excitement, I decided to give into Flynn's week-long pleas of, "Momma, can I pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease plant in your garden??"
So, I handed her her gardening gloves, a baseball cap, & set her free in the messy, small flower bed she likes to call Momma's 'garden'. Gabe was sleeping, so I took the opportunity of her being busy with the dirt, to clean up some areas of the yard I never get to.
As I weeded & leveled a corner spot by the porch, straightening up brick & picking up rocks, I thought I noticed a snake skin.
Then.
I noticed
A SNAKE.
Between two bricks, I saw shiny grey skin. So, I pulled out my flag stake & poked the 'thing' to see if it was alive.
It was.
And it slithered down deeper into the cave of bricks, until I could no longer see its reptilia skin.
Have I mentioned that I'm an outdoors girl 'til it comes to SNAKES & SPIDERS?

Mix into the day's events, getting cut off on the highway, and waiting in traffic for a 'fresh' accident.

And that right now, both kids are in time out for 1 hitting & the other hitting back.

Peace out.

Monday Mumblings...

on a Tuesday...

-I'm starting a diet. You heard it here first. I hope to lose 25 lbs. No kidding. And so, by letting my readership (a whopping 100 of you) see this, I'm making myself accountable to you. No more 1/2 gallons of bubble gum ice cream within 48 hours of buying it. No big pretzels dipped in cheese at 10 pm.

-There's only one thing I dislike more than singing in a wedding...singing in a funeral; which I must do today.

-I have not heard hide nor hair from any districts. Maybe I should've had someone pimp my resume, instead of pimpin' my van.

-Gabe starts private speech Thursday. Is supposed to have a complete hearing test (to rule out that hearing is the culprit) tomorrow. We found out that the insurance won't cover any of that too. So, keeping out appointment is a decision we must make based on whether or not I can sell an ovary.

-Gabe is feeling better - a little better each day. But, has had redness above his upper lip this past month (about the time he's been fighting this virus); which has gotten worse in the last 2 days. This is almost his last symptom - perhaps the virus leaving his body? (fingers crossed)

-Since Flynn's 'ride home' from Dancing Class is taking a week in Disney (lucky Madelyn!!), Papa picked her up yesterday, while I was in my staff meeting. But when Papa picks up, they don't come home, they head to the "Dollar Tree" (PS Gabe's vocab consists of only about 100 words, 2 of them are DOLLAR TREE!!) to pick out things that Momma would never buy for them. Including, but not limited to, a Happy Birthday mylar balloon & 2 jelly-like wall crawlers, which left an oily residue on my livingroom wall, creating the illusion of a giant spider's & mammoth frog's shadow.

-5 games left in this soccer season. Not that I'm counting down the days until we have Daddy for normal hours again (for a couple of months).

-Speaking of Daddy & soccer (which happens quite often), Daddy has put together a soccer team, for fun (if you call fun a brutal competition), wherein he'll be playing, outside, with guys 'his age', every Monday night.
Not happy about there being another night we don't see him, but am very happy that he'll be doing something just for him, having fun & doing what he loves (& is good at), soccer.

-It's in the 30s right now. That's just stupid.

-Why can't I like oatmeal bars?, they're the favorite of these two kids. They're healthy & a stick-to-your-ribs breakfast. But they make me gag.

Missouri

Where else could you have your air conditioning on one day, then your heat on the next?

It's Not Gabrielle

I mean, maybe I wouldn't be so sore if Gabrielle was the original form, you know, GABRIEL, the messenger of God?!
Or, if it was indicative of his gender, right there, in his file.

Or could it because he's a he being referred to as a she?
Maybe that's it, cuz I don't get sore when people think Flynn is a boy's name. Then again, I expect that.

Monday Mumbling

Said with much sarcasm:

To the road crew, trimming trees on the road to the office: Thank you for making us sit & wait while the oncoming traffic came through & appeared to never have to wait, I appreciate being almost late for my meeting.

To Flynn's dance teacher: Honestly, I didn't put the tear in her $50 costume...so when you offered to sew it up & seemed ANGRY, that wasn't appropriate. The costume CAME THAT WAY, and although it might not take much for one of the grandmas to sew it, THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO, for crying out loud, anything for a four-year-old to wear ONCE, that costs $50, should not require my (or anyone else's) seamstress skills.

To the Easter Bunny: Thanks a lot, for all this candy. It's near impossible to diet when you're eating all your kids' candy so that THEY don't eat it because you don't give them candy.

To my metabolism: You suck.

To Flynn's allergies & asthma: You suck too. I am soooooooo worn out with worrying about Flynn when I leave the room. I am tired of wiping down counters like Jesus is coming to visit. And I am so over having to hover over her at parties & in group settings. I could puke I'm so tired of appearing to be an over-protective mother hen. And to the people who look at me, at parties & stuff, when I get out a container of a safe 'cake-alternative' (you know, so she doesn't die & stuff), like my child is spoiled & just doesn't like what everyone else is having, well, I say to you people, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. And if your mind is so lacking in thoughts of imporantance & your own affairs, perhaps you should go volunteer somewhere.
Or, try having allergies yourself.
That will certainly busy you.

To my neighbors: FOR THE LOVE OF CHRISTMAS, get the Christmas lights off your house, YOU BIG HOOSIERS. Did you know today is the last day of March? More than 3 mos after the said holiday.

To my small house: Grow up, would you?!

To United Healthcare: Have I pointed out to you that my son has used NO benefits this year? Have I mentioned that he's only had like 3 prescriptions in the 2.5 years he's been on this earth? That he's never been hospitalized, outside of his birth?
The mere fact that you refuse to pay for his speech therapy, is enough for me to come hunt you down & kick you in the throat.
Twice.

To the Chevy Dealership: I'm wise to your antics. When you can see that we're within 90 miles of the end of our dealership & you say that there's nothing you can do about our SERVICE ENGINE SOON light that keeps coming on, I can see you're doing your job. And I'm sure that that "squeaking" in our brakes really is NORMAL as you say it is. Because hearing squeaking when I put on the brakes really says safety to me.

To the rain: Enough already.

Said without sarcasm:

To my kids: Thank you for yelling my name before I even got in the door from my meeting. No matter how much the human race can sometimes aggravate me, I always know there are at least 2 humans who are always glad to see me.

To Flynn: Thank you for understanding when Gabe got new yogurt, ate it in front of you, and you didn't have any. You will never know how much Daddy & I appreciate just how understanding & mature you are about the fact that 90% of the world can eat what they want, and you will die if you indulge.
Thank you also, for the gymnastics-obstacle-course-show that you & Snowball put on for me.

To Gabe: Thank you for finally taking a nap. While I know you love your sister, the 'love' you guys show each other, does start to wear on me a bit. So I really appreciate you taking a little break from the action, to go recharge your little mind & body.
Also, thank you for standing at the top step with your skinny arms stretched toward me. It's the most welcoming sight when I've been gone all morning.

To my dad: You will never realize how much we've appreciated that you are the most reliable babysitter a person could ever have. The fact that you work nights, so that you can still babysit every Monday morning for us, is enough for me to build a bronze statue at Forest Park, in your honor. And the statue would be holding a mug of coffee.
When I clean up after you leave, and find paper after paper of coloring that you've done with the kids, it's enough to leave a smile on my face for the rest of the day.
It will be a sad day in two months when you babysit your last Monday to work days. Wherever we end up leaving Flynn in the fall, will never stack up to hopscotch, coloring, & lunch with Papa on Monday mornings.

To Jeff: Thank you for doing the sinkLOAD of dishes last night so I could finish my 'cleaning project'.
Also, thank you for taking on my ministry as your own & not complaining when you do as much as I do on a Sunday morning. Altho I have no doubt that many will be the gems in your crown in heaven, I hope to thank you enough here on earth.

To God: Thank You that we live in a country where things like trees hanging over roads are seen as a hazard.
Thank You that we can afford to put Flynn in dancing.
Thank You that there are many people in my kids' lives that love them enough to give them candy & spoil them on holidays.
Thank You for my body that is healthy enough for me to care for my family.
Thank You that You keep Flynn safe & with us through many scary experiences & for reminding us that You will continue to protect her.
Thank You that our neighbors are currently 'behaving' themselves & having awoken us in a while.
Thank You for our house that is comfortable, still fairly new & pretty maintenance-free.
Thank You that we have insurance, there was a time we didn't & that was pretty scary.
Thank You for our car & that You blessed us with very minimal bills in car maintenance.
Thank You for watering the earth.

Pet Peeves

1. When people who have (very obviously) poor taste & then they proceed to (attempt to) poke fun at your style or preference at different 'things' - like the love of the color orange, or orange + brown. (I'd give examples but those persons could be readers).


2. When: iTunes is set at random, the kids aren't home, I have the speakers blasting AND I call the dr's office to ask the dr a question & right as the nurse is jotting down my info, BABY GOT BACK by SIR MIX A LOT comes blasting down the hall. Small house = not being able to get far enough from the lyrics, "With a round thing in. your. face."


3. When that same call turns into you sitting there on hold, while the said nurse s l o w l y jots down your exactly what she plans to tell the dr (can't she do this after you hang up?).


4. "The neighbors" 's Christmas lights still on their house.


5. Mud.


6. Baby weight, when the 'baby' is 2.


7. Bills.


8. Living 20 minutes away from everything.


9. Crumbs.


10. Windows that aren't self-cleaning.


11. People who aren't helpful but want to tell you how they think it should be done.


12. Whining. (just for clarification, lists of pet peeves aren't whining).


13. When the iTunes is rocking out, then a stupid song from Spamalot (hubby's) pops up. Killjoy.


14. Waits at restaurants.


15. Small closets.


16. Stinky trashcans.


17. Little pieces of toys that get separated from the rest of the "group."
18. People who play 'devil's advocate' when all you want to do is vent.
19. Auto-formatting.
20. When someone almost hits you, it's totally their fault, then they flip YOU off.
21. When the kids accidentally lock themselves in their rooms (or maybe I don't mind it so much).
22. Cheating.
23. Procrastination.
24. Sneakiness.
25. Buying 'bad' produce.
26. When the kids argue.
27. Dirty Public restrooms.
28. Jealousy.
29. satan.
30. Butters. (not margarine; line jumpers)
31. People who pull up & honk, instead of getting their lazy behind out of the car & ringing the bell.

I think 31 is enough. Kinda like Baskin Robbin's flavors. Except my 31 aren't sweet, nor are they fattening.

If my list has made you crabby, watch this and you'll cheer up instantly. Thank God for light sabres....they aren't on my pet peeves list.

I'll Try to Forget

that today it is 50 degrees colder than yesterday....
that right now it's in the 20s & is sleeting...
that we're supposed to get several inches of snow...



And remember
that I wore flip flops this weekend...
that we played at the park...
that I wore short sleeves...
that my mom got sunburned...
that our windows were wide open...

37 degrees, Feels like 28

Makes me think of this.

Good Fences

It wasn't so long ago that I was awakened in the night. And the same thing happened last night.

Let me go to the beginning in order to re-cap our misfortunes with our neighbor...

About 2 years ago, the original owner (builder) of the home moved. He was nice. A couple in their 50s bought the home, for their daughter to live in while she finished up college. They figured that was better than paying apt rent.

She was fine living next door. Not my idea of the perfect neighbor, but she didn't bother us. She had parties every once in a while, but nothing like now.

6 mos ago, they put the house on the market. It didn't sell. What SEEMS to have happened is that they took it off the market & their daughter still lives there, along w/ another girl her age (they don't look over 21).

Also living there (or staying there 90% of the time) is some guy, in an 80s honda del sol. It races thru the cul de sac, which doesn't thrill me, but rt now that's the least of my worries.

Then, you know what happened last month.

Since then, it's been a party a weekend. We called 2 more times. A week ago, we called because it was 10:30 sunday night & we could sing along to the music in their house it was so loud.
After the cop left, she walked out on her porch & yelled at our house (our homes are in the circle & are aimed at each other), "Gees People!!!!"

Let me also back up & say that we have about 5 cops in our subd. None of them seem to care about any of this. One is single & my age & lives 3 houses down.

Well, Superbowl, he pulls up into the next door neighbor's driveway, gets out, in uniform (in his cop car), and starts talking to the girl, her roomie, & this del sol guy. He hands del sol a beer. Did I mention, he's in uniform?

Then, about an hr later, he shows up again. No one else is home but the girl (owner's daughter). He leaves cop car in the driveway, running, while he's INSIDE for AN HOUR & A HALF. Car, running.

Okay, that's about enough to burn your biscuits, but seriously, it's none of my business.

But, then, last night, we hear Flynn cry out at 1 am. We usually just lay there to see if she's awake or having a night terror. Then we hear it: Loud yelling, sounds like drunken bantor, it's in the street. So, we jump up & faintly see a group of guys. They're just all having a good time getting out of their cars & walking up the neighbor's drive.

At the advice of some law officer friends/family, we'd decided to start calling as soon as their parties kick up. And call. And call. Until it's as quiet as it should be in the middle of the night.

So, I immediately picked up the phone & called the police. They got my name, number, reason for calling. And said they'd send someone out.
Meanwhile, Jeff is looking out the blinds & says, "I think that's the cop who lives down the road, and he's out their in the driveway!"

And minutes later, the police show up, there's two of them in the car. They get out of the car & go up the drive. They greet Neighbor Cop & Owner's Daughter. Neighbor Cop introduces Owner's Daughter to them. They chat for a bit (gee, so glad I could arrange a playdate), then cops go home. Neighbor Cop & Owner's Daughter stand on the stoop to finish their cigarettes. She's clearly mad as she makes her way to the edge of the stoop & yells at our window (where I'm SURE she sees Jeff looking thru the blinds), "Call who you F***ing Want! Now we're friends with all the cops!!" (so ridiculous, it sounds made up)

This INFURIATES Jeff, who picks back up the phone & reports to the dispatcher that NOPE, that didn't end the disturbence & then Jeff just basically unloads on the guy (who probably didn't care) all that we've seen.

I'm up for good now. I was mad at Jeff for sharing all that with a DISPATCHER - as I am sure it's a matter of hours until Neighbor Cop catches wind that we're tattlers.

You know, I don't want any trouble. When people were buying the homes around us, building, moving, I prayed, "God, bless us w/ good neighbors. Families & couples we can befriend & love." Now, I'm not just sad that this is no one we'll ever hang out with, I'm very worried for my home, the safety of my kids, I'm scared to sleep as I'm afraid someone will do something.

Not to mention, these people are our neighbors -- Neighbor Cop included. I don't want any trouble. I want to take walks & play in the circle with the kids and not worry about who will come outside & say something or yell at us.

We've wanted to move for a while now. Until I'm working a while full time, that's not bound to happen. And I doubt these neighbors are going anywhere. They're in the FRAT HOUSE for crying out loud.

But God can do anything. And He looks the biggest when we're feeling so small. Miracles happen. And sisters, I'm waiting for one.
Can I get an amen?!!

Any advice is welcome, and prayer is much desired...
Because egg is really hard to scrape off of siding.