Dates, names, to-do lists...
all littering my brain.
Traffic jam of
things to remember...
ideas...
worry.
Added to
caffeine.
Makes it
impossible to sleep.
9.29.2008
9.28.2008
Hannah's Hair
Before:
After:
After:Hair Donor!
I'm so proud of my nieces. Hannah is the third niece to donate. KK was the first, Mattie donated 2 years ago, & now Hannah.
Wonder who is next in line? wink-wink
9.27.2008
9.26.2008
9.25.2008
Fire Drill
I learned early on in Flynn's 'preschool days' not to ask her an open-ended 'what did you do today?' question when I pick her up at the end of her preschool morning.
So now, I narrow it down & say, "What was your favorite thing today?"
And so, yesterday when I asked that question, I didn't get the usual, ummm, ehhh..
I got a very enthusiastic "WE PRETENDED OUR SCHOOL WAS ON FIRE, it was so fun!!!!!"
So now, I narrow it down & say, "What was your favorite thing today?"
And so, yesterday when I asked that question, I didn't get the usual, ummm, ehhh..
I got a very enthusiastic "WE PRETENDED OUR SCHOOL WAS ON FIRE, it was so fun!!!!!"
9.24.2008
Questioning God
My whole life I heard people say not to question God. Don't doubt Him. Don't second-guess Him. And certainly never be mad at Him.
But sometimes I ask Him why...
A few days ago, a very close friend of my cousin & his family, lost her battle against cancer.
But not before she beat it several times. Each time she'd received healing, she never failed to give God His due honor. She was a true respresentative of a Christ-following Christian who could have turned bitter, but instead praised Him through each storm. She even began a ministry to be a support to those fighting illnesses.
She & her husband had one daughter who she was very close to. And that daughter was married this past summer.
When Laura got ill again last year, her daughter understandably wanted her mom to be present on this earth for her wedding, for the birth of her first child.
So, it's my understanding that they moved up their wedding, and even were successful in a honeymoon baby.
Who is due in just a few months.
Due to complications from a hospital stay, combined with cancer spreading through her body, Laura's family knew her days were numbered.
When it seemed that she would no doubt pass before the baby girl making her entrance to the world, all began to pray she could at least last until a 4-D could show her the baby she'd never meet.
We all prayed God would once again heal her. Another miracle so that she could at least rejoice in photos that would allow her to count toes, count fingers, see long baby eyelashes, & recognize a feature or two that she admired in her baby 20 or so years ago.
But it didn't happen. God decided not to heal her here on earth. Her life cut short in her forties.
And when I read the email, all I could do was cry. And feel slighted on her daughter's behalf.
"God why? Why couldn't You just leave her here just a few more months??"
And I thought about it the next day, and today...
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
So, what does that mean?
I'm a teacher. And there's nothing I think about, ponder on, that I don't try to understand. And just as I used to do with ALL the content I taught my students, I apply it. And as I liken everything to real life, I usually liken the words & promises spoken by our father, to my life as a parent.
And I thought about the countless times I have asked my kids to do something, taken something from them, forced them to do something... against their will, against their pleading. Because I wanted to be a mean mom?
Of course not.
But because I know the bigger picture. I know what's best for them. They can't even begin to understand what I know to be the best for them. Flynn can't even fathom what would happen if I let her eat what she wanted. And before she knew what ramifications came from unsafe food, she didn't understand why she couldn't eat what others were eating. She would cry or beg. But I knew. I knew what was best. Even if it wasn't what she asked for. It was the best for her.
And those we pray for. Those we beg for God to keep here on earth. God knows the bigger picture. And if we truly knew what heaven held for us, had just a morsel of an idea of the incredibleness (is that a word?) of eternity in heaven, we'd never pray for someone to stay here on earth.
When we pray for God to be glorified, do we really consider that his glory could come from someone being made whole in heaven?
I am constantly praying, 'God I don't understand.' But God never promised us understanding. The wisest person in the world could never even be in the same realm as God's thoughts.
So, when I ask God, question him why this or why not that, I have to remember that as my Father, He really does know the best for His children. Whether or not it hurts. Whether or not it's what I asked for.
Of course, this understanding coming to me fourth degree from the hurt. It's not my child. It's not my mom. So perhaps my conclusion is easier to settle on. And I pray that those facing the direct hurt can feel God's peace.
But sometimes I ask Him why...
A few days ago, a very close friend of my cousin & his family, lost her battle against cancer.
But not before she beat it several times. Each time she'd received healing, she never failed to give God His due honor. She was a true respresentative of a Christ-following Christian who could have turned bitter, but instead praised Him through each storm. She even began a ministry to be a support to those fighting illnesses.
She & her husband had one daughter who she was very close to. And that daughter was married this past summer.
When Laura got ill again last year, her daughter understandably wanted her mom to be present on this earth for her wedding, for the birth of her first child.
So, it's my understanding that they moved up their wedding, and even were successful in a honeymoon baby.
Who is due in just a few months.
Due to complications from a hospital stay, combined with cancer spreading through her body, Laura's family knew her days were numbered.
When it seemed that she would no doubt pass before the baby girl making her entrance to the world, all began to pray she could at least last until a 4-D could show her the baby she'd never meet.
We all prayed God would once again heal her. Another miracle so that she could at least rejoice in photos that would allow her to count toes, count fingers, see long baby eyelashes, & recognize a feature or two that she admired in her baby 20 or so years ago.
But it didn't happen. God decided not to heal her here on earth. Her life cut short in her forties.
And when I read the email, all I could do was cry. And feel slighted on her daughter's behalf.
"God why? Why couldn't You just leave her here just a few more months??"
And I thought about it the next day, and today...
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
So, what does that mean?
I'm a teacher. And there's nothing I think about, ponder on, that I don't try to understand. And just as I used to do with ALL the content I taught my students, I apply it. And as I liken everything to real life, I usually liken the words & promises spoken by our father, to my life as a parent.
And I thought about the countless times I have asked my kids to do something, taken something from them, forced them to do something... against their will, against their pleading. Because I wanted to be a mean mom?
Of course not.
But because I know the bigger picture. I know what's best for them. They can't even begin to understand what I know to be the best for them. Flynn can't even fathom what would happen if I let her eat what she wanted. And before she knew what ramifications came from unsafe food, she didn't understand why she couldn't eat what others were eating. She would cry or beg. But I knew. I knew what was best. Even if it wasn't what she asked for. It was the best for her.
And those we pray for. Those we beg for God to keep here on earth. God knows the bigger picture. And if we truly knew what heaven held for us, had just a morsel of an idea of the incredibleness (is that a word?) of eternity in heaven, we'd never pray for someone to stay here on earth.
When we pray for God to be glorified, do we really consider that his glory could come from someone being made whole in heaven?
I am constantly praying, 'God I don't understand.' But God never promised us understanding. The wisest person in the world could never even be in the same realm as God's thoughts.
So, when I ask God, question him why this or why not that, I have to remember that as my Father, He really does know the best for His children. Whether or not it hurts. Whether or not it's what I asked for.
Of course, this understanding coming to me fourth degree from the hurt. It's not my child. It's not my mom. So perhaps my conclusion is easier to settle on. And I pray that those facing the direct hurt can feel God's peace.
Choose It or Lose It
Jeff sent me this fun easy quiz, which takes quotes from the candidates & uses those as your choices. So, I doubt there could be a spin.
Plus, it's funny.
PS If you aren't registered to vote, you better hurry up. You only have 2 more weeks to get registered.
Plus, it's funny.
PS If you aren't registered to vote, you better hurry up. You only have 2 more weeks to get registered.
9.23.2008
9.21.2008
Another One of Her Questions
We were riding home late last night.... Gabe rode with Daddy & Flynn with me.
We were looking at the dark, streaky night.
"Mom?" she always starts her questions out, like she's questioning me first, "Who is bigger?....God? or Jesus?"
We were looking at the dark, streaky night.
"Mom?" she always starts her questions out, like she's questioning me first, "Who is bigger?....God? or Jesus?"
9.20.2008
I'm Sure He Misses Them Too
Flynn's the one who verbalizes it the most.
But I'm sure he misses them too.
But I'm sure he misses them too.
9.19.2008
Learning Something New Everyday
Mom, doesn't that look like a rhino up there?
Hmm, Mom, is that cloud moving? Do clouds move?
Huh, I didn't know that before.
Hmm, Mom, is that cloud moving? Do clouds move?
Huh, I didn't know that before.
Bad News First
Bad news:
I got an oil change on the van this morning at Walmart --
It took 90 minutes and the tv in the waiting "area" was broken. No crayons. No books. My bag of tricks was left behind, as I never dreamed it would take 75 minutes for our car just to be pulled into the bay.
Good news:
Gabe likes milk duds.
I got an oil change on the van this morning at Walmart --
It took 90 minutes and the tv in the waiting "area" was broken. No crayons. No books. My bag of tricks was left behind, as I never dreamed it would take 75 minutes for our car just to be pulled into the bay.
Good news:
Gabe likes milk duds.
9.18.2008
Rule Following
Do you ever get tired of following rules, pain-stakingly forcing your children to follow them, only for another child to be able to skip right through the policies - with your child watching them do what he or she wasn't allowed to do?
Great Balls of Hair
That is actually, precisely what my hair looked like in '89. Except black.
DJ Tanner would be jealous at how perfect my hair is.
The only thing better than curtain bangs is a fake blonde who should stick to her natural color.
And, sleeveless denim.
I promise, that's the last time I torture you with yearbook photos. :)
9.17.2008
Romans 8
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
I don't claim to know any more answers than the next guy (or gal). As a matter of fact, sometimes I ask God why we still struggle with certain things.
There are a lot of mountains in my life. While it is a great life, rich with blessings & abundance (of the things that matter), there are certain hills, that I pray all the time for God to just move (or smash with His giant foot).
There are a couple that I pray for all the time. I won't be specific, as several people I know personally, read my blog. Enuff said about that. But, I'm sure you would guess that one of them is Flynn's allergy to milk.
It's not an inconvenience, more like an affliction. To know that at any given mistake, Flynn could die; well, that isn't small fries.
There are some people who think that if you have just enough faith, or the right kind, you will never have to suffer.
And -- just so we're straight, I completely whole-heartedly believe in healing. The kind produced by faith in God. I absolutely know that the moment He decides to take Flynn's illness from her, that He will.
But I also know that when we pray for Him to show Himself glorified, that it might not be in the form of taking that from her.
His glory might be shown THROUGH what we go through. Heck, it might be enough that there were people who heard her talk about God when she was having a reaction. Or who know that she's only four, but has a power-packed punch full of faith. The girl knows her Jesus.
And if those reasons are the ones God Has while He chooses to allow us this type of suffering. So be it. I want Him to be glorified however he chooses.
Before I sound like I'm whining, you must admit that you have moutains in your path. Ones you must face each day. What might really be a molehill to someone else is your Mt Everest. For one person it's a hangnail. For the other it's a broken marriage. And to each person, their mountain is huge.
I know that sometimes God chooses to move the mountain. Some people are healed. Some have a miracle baby or see their spouse come to Christ.
But sometimes God lets us dwell. And learn. And change. And eventually He might step on our ant hill & smash it. Or other times we end up with enough of His strength to smash it on our own.
Some people even hang a wreath on their mountain & call it HOME.
I hope I have enough faith to accept whatever He does with the hills & mountains in my path.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
I don't claim to know any more answers than the next guy (or gal). As a matter of fact, sometimes I ask God why we still struggle with certain things.
There are a lot of mountains in my life. While it is a great life, rich with blessings & abundance (of the things that matter), there are certain hills, that I pray all the time for God to just move (or smash with His giant foot).
There are a couple that I pray for all the time. I won't be specific, as several people I know personally, read my blog. Enuff said about that. But, I'm sure you would guess that one of them is Flynn's allergy to milk.
It's not an inconvenience, more like an affliction. To know that at any given mistake, Flynn could die; well, that isn't small fries.
There are some people who think that if you have just enough faith, or the right kind, you will never have to suffer.
And -- just so we're straight, I completely whole-heartedly believe in healing. The kind produced by faith in God. I absolutely know that the moment He decides to take Flynn's illness from her, that He will.
But I also know that when we pray for Him to show Himself glorified, that it might not be in the form of taking that from her.
His glory might be shown THROUGH what we go through. Heck, it might be enough that there were people who heard her talk about God when she was having a reaction. Or who know that she's only four, but has a power-packed punch full of faith. The girl knows her Jesus.
And if those reasons are the ones God Has while He chooses to allow us this type of suffering. So be it. I want Him to be glorified however he chooses.
Before I sound like I'm whining, you must admit that you have moutains in your path. Ones you must face each day. What might really be a molehill to someone else is your Mt Everest. For one person it's a hangnail. For the other it's a broken marriage. And to each person, their mountain is huge.
I know that sometimes God chooses to move the mountain. Some people are healed. Some have a miracle baby or see their spouse come to Christ.
But sometimes God lets us dwell. And learn. And change. And eventually He might step on our ant hill & smash it. Or other times we end up with enough of His strength to smash it on our own.
Some people even hang a wreath on their mountain & call it HOME.
I hope I have enough faith to accept whatever He does with the hills & mountains in my path.
Things That Go Bump in the Parking Lot
I think I'm a fairly forward person -- who typically speaks my mind & stands up for myself. But today, in the parking lot of Flynn's pre school, I didn't quite know what to do.
Because we don't use Flynn's school as a day care, as some of the families must do, I get her there much later than everyone else. Actually, as late as possible, because I hate getting my kids up at the crack of dawn. Our commute is a pretty lengthy one (compared to the others) & I'd rather not leave the house before 7:30 am with them.
So, when I pull into the parking lot, we're usually the only ones in the lot. With millions of spaces to choose from.
So, I was a little surprised, when after dropping Flynn off, Gabe & I return to the lot to see a car parked RIGHT NEXT to ours. Oh well. No big deal. Except, their door was completely resting ON my car. It was open as far as it could be, completely making contact with mine. And the mom looked like she was fixing the little girl's hair, belt, backpack, etc. She was straight getting the girl ready IN THE PARKING LOT. Her business, but I always find it rude for someone to allow the end of the door to be making contact with yours (& no doubt scratching it, etc.).
BUT, she was so into her morning preparations (hurriedly & impatiently with the little girl, or so I could overhear), she had NO CLUE that I had gotten to my car & was actually in the process of buckling Gabe in (which was on the side opposite of her; the side closest to the school).
I thought, well, no biggie I guess. I will just make plenty of noise over here so she hears us & maybe will move her door.
Lots of noise.
No movement of the door.
matter of fact, I'm still pretty sure she had no clue we were there. Because at one point, the little girl lost her footing & fell into her OPEN DOOR (resting into my car side),
CREEEEAK. Went the door. It even moved my vehicle. I could tell it was just lodging more into my car. And so, the mom quickly grabbed her daughter, slammed their door shut & WITHOUT EVEN SO MUCH AS LOOKING AT MY CAR, ran inside.
I was dumb-founded.
WHAT DO I DO??? I had no idea if I should call after her for us to look at my car together (which I have done to people before). I don't know the family personally, but know each family by family name & by their child. It's a very small school & very family-oriented.
As I rounded the corner, a quarter-sized pink mark remained on the side of my car. (their car is red) I licked my finger (eeww, germs) & started to swipe at the mark. After lots of elbow grease, I managed to get most of it off, but there's a mark there, probably a scuff, that I was unable to get off.
I was just so shocked. Not only that an adult would do something to someone else's property, but in front of their child, be so careless. Swinging a door accidentally open into another person's car is one thing -- that happens a lot I know. But to know your child/you did something that had to have damaged something of someone else's & show no remorse or responsibility.
I feel like I gave her lots of chances for ownership. I even sat in my car with my window down as she returned. She just seemed to be in a hurry to get to work.
It really bothered me. Probably more than anything, that I wasn't able to be honest & call her on it. But in that moment, I just didn't feel right about it. It would've been ackward every morning, three times a week.
What would you have done?
Because we don't use Flynn's school as a day care, as some of the families must do, I get her there much later than everyone else. Actually, as late as possible, because I hate getting my kids up at the crack of dawn. Our commute is a pretty lengthy one (compared to the others) & I'd rather not leave the house before 7:30 am with them.
So, when I pull into the parking lot, we're usually the only ones in the lot. With millions of spaces to choose from.
So, I was a little surprised, when after dropping Flynn off, Gabe & I return to the lot to see a car parked RIGHT NEXT to ours. Oh well. No big deal. Except, their door was completely resting ON my car. It was open as far as it could be, completely making contact with mine. And the mom looked like she was fixing the little girl's hair, belt, backpack, etc. She was straight getting the girl ready IN THE PARKING LOT. Her business, but I always find it rude for someone to allow the end of the door to be making contact with yours (& no doubt scratching it, etc.).
BUT, she was so into her morning preparations (hurriedly & impatiently with the little girl, or so I could overhear), she had NO CLUE that I had gotten to my car & was actually in the process of buckling Gabe in (which was on the side opposite of her; the side closest to the school).
I thought, well, no biggie I guess. I will just make plenty of noise over here so she hears us & maybe will move her door.
Lots of noise.
No movement of the door.
matter of fact, I'm still pretty sure she had no clue we were there. Because at one point, the little girl lost her footing & fell into her OPEN DOOR (resting into my car side),
CREEEEAK. Went the door. It even moved my vehicle. I could tell it was just lodging more into my car. And so, the mom quickly grabbed her daughter, slammed their door shut & WITHOUT EVEN SO MUCH AS LOOKING AT MY CAR, ran inside.
I was dumb-founded.
WHAT DO I DO??? I had no idea if I should call after her for us to look at my car together (which I have done to people before). I don't know the family personally, but know each family by family name & by their child. It's a very small school & very family-oriented.
As I rounded the corner, a quarter-sized pink mark remained on the side of my car. (their car is red) I licked my finger (eeww, germs) & started to swipe at the mark. After lots of elbow grease, I managed to get most of it off, but there's a mark there, probably a scuff, that I was unable to get off.
I was just so shocked. Not only that an adult would do something to someone else's property, but in front of their child, be so careless. Swinging a door accidentally open into another person's car is one thing -- that happens a lot I know. But to know your child/you did something that had to have damaged something of someone else's & show no remorse or responsibility.
I feel like I gave her lots of chances for ownership. I even sat in my car with my window down as she returned. She just seemed to be in a hurry to get to work.
It really bothered me. Probably more than anything, that I wasn't able to be honest & call her on it. But in that moment, I just didn't feel right about it. It would've been ackward every morning, three times a week.
What would you have done?
9.16.2008
Worth a Good Laugh
I hated to blow the whole wad of them -- but I thought the laugh you'd get, from me posting ALL of these 60s & 70s photos, would be worth it.
ESPECIALLY, if it makes you wet your pants, like I almost did looking at this one:
Because it kinda looks like me when I straighten my hair.
He looked a little Drew Carrey'ish on that one.
I think I've found my look. And, I look pretty great in that turtleneck.
But, there's a part of me that liked being a blonde just then.
SHAGGADELIC!
Oh stop, my beating heart...
for a minute, I thought that was Shaun Cassidy (my first kiss....yes, it was a poster, on the wall over Angie's bed, but - still!)
ESPECIALLY, if it makes you wet your pants, like I almost did looking at this one: Because it kinda looks like me when I straighten my hair. He looked a little Drew Carrey'ish on that one. I think I've found my look. And, I look pretty great in that turtleneck. But, there's a part of me that liked being a blonde just then. SHAGGADELIC! Oh stop, my beating heart...for a minute, I thought that was Shaun Cassidy (my first kiss....yes, it was a poster, on the wall over Angie's bed, but - still!)
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