Poops McGee

I have always worked with kids, to some capacity.
Always babysat. Always taught Sunday school.
Nannied in college. Worked at a day care for 5 years before becoming a teacher.
Taught for years.
Then had these 2 rascals.

So, I have definitely dealt with lots & lots of poop.

But never.

Ever in my life.

Have I dealt with so much poop.

As the last few days.


Gabe has a viral infection. We're hoping it's not rota virus. Lordy.

But I have to say again, that the networks & writers have been a'miss by not signing up this family for a reality tv show. We would have avid watchers everywhere & they would be laughing hysterically at the stuff that goes on here.

The first humorous scene was when he sat beside me in the recliner. This is one of our bedtime rituals. He sits on or by us & we read to him. As I started to smell it, I realized he had pooped... on ME. So, we put him in the tub. And me too. When I went back to check the recliner, I did not see a thing. Which now makes sense, as when you sit in a chair, you pull the cushion down & apart. When I went back & the cushion was where it normally is, I wouldn't have seen it.
But smelled it.
The next day.
And realized that the real source of the smell, was a small puddle beneath the recliner.
Can you say
EWWWWWWWWWW?!!

Then, the next day, which was yesterday, after one of his BM episodes, I put him in the shower (thank GOD for hose type of sprayer we just bought!!). Gabe has had "the big D" (& I don't mean Dallas) an average of 10 times per day for the last 3 days. This gave him, understandably, a pretty nasty rash..so after this shower, I thought I'd give him a few minutes to air out before putting his diaper back on him.
That's all it took.
And I sat here watching him, but as fast as he did this on the carpeted floor, he was walking through it.
I've tried everything. Next step it oxyclean. But I think this is the push we needed to rip up the carpet & go with hard wood floor. (cheap fake hard wood)

I decided to get proactive about his rash. So, on the internet, I looked up 'homeopathic rememedies / home remedies' for diaper rash. One particular treatment I saw was to bake flour. Just plain white flour, baked on a cookie sheet.
What it didn't tell me was that it would bake...and burn...immediately.
I guess I'm used to putting muffins, or cookies, in the oven & walking away & having about 10 minutes.
Not the case.
So when I put the sheet of flour in, I ran downstairs to switch over one of my many loads of laundry. While I was gone, the flour scorched, burned, & filled our tiny house with a thick stinky smoke.
Great, all I needed was for this to smell like a meth lab.

In the last 3 days, I've done 11 loads of laundry. We've went through an entire pack of diapers & an entire package of wipes. A thing of creamy desitin.

By the way?, I think the burnt flour worked.