HOUSE

Most of my loved ones are probably sick of my running episode of 'HOUSE' (medical marvels, oh my!), then scroll away from this update...
Saw a new gen practitioner dr (after much prayer & deliberation of whom to start seeing). She is helping me get to the bottom of the medical run-arounds & jargon. Seems the inconsistencies could indicate the beginning stages of MS, or a stroke, or could just be a 'blur' (maybe I moved during the MRI, etc.). One thing that can be agreed on by all is that I have some symptoms that can't be ignored, that hv been around for at least 8 mos. My newest symptom: burning sensation in rt foot + the awful shin'ish pain in same leg, indicates neuropathy. There are non responding parts of my foot & numbness in my leg (didn't even feel a sharp stick). This sometimes accompanies diabetes (Dad has type 2, mom is borderline, I had gestational diabetes w/ both pregnancies) & I am 'pre diabetic'. But another parallel is nerve damage -> possibly not coincidental to the nerve issues in my face/head.
The sound of MS scares me but I'm not more worried than I am content that God has my future (& even my little medical issues) in the palm of His hand.

Background info... In April/May noticed a drooping in the right side of my face. In April/May started experiencing a tickle-like sensation in my right ear. Dr reported seeing "nothing" in my ear & recommended an ENT if I continued to notice sensation. Numbness in left arm/hand last month. Saw ENT mid-December who ordered brain MRI. Results showed no tumors but a few spots of "inconsistencies."

I'm ALMOST Ashamed

(but am more entertained than ashamed)

because I FINALLY cleaned out our van. Gross, gross, gross.

Yes, that's 3 cups & little girl undies you see. And pitchers. And coupons, and gloves & insane amounts of coats.

You're wondering how?

Me too.

Private Eyes

When we were younger, my big sis & I slept in the same bed ... actually, the same room. We were roomies, in a room with bright pink shag carpet & swiss-dotted sheer drapes.
I loved it.
I loved sharing a room with my big sister. Probably moreso when I was older than the crying baby in the white baby bed next to her, that she used to shush with a desperate yell.

Do you know, when I was old enough to have my own room, I would go to hers & ask to sleep with her? All those years I wanted my own room, only to sneak to her room like a crybaby, "Ang, can I sleep with you?"

And we would lay in bed, like a slumber party, listen to "Pillow Talk" & laugh at the people who called in. And once, when "Private Eyes" (Hall & Oates) started playing, she slid her hand under my pillow while singing it. And for the strangest reason, we died laughing.

To this day, it's an inside joke.

Speaking of Private Eyes (no, I'm not going to talk about Jon Oates' fro), I'm contemplating something that I've went back & forth on for a few months now:
Going private with my blog.

When I posted, in beggary (is that a word?), for my faithful readers (er, uh, lurkers) to vote for said Hot Hubs, it got me thinking,
There are lots of you. You come faithfully to the blog. But I don't know you. And you seldom de-lurk, and I don't like that.
I'm just being honest.
I mean, you read my inner most thoughts... my feelings & my frank ideas.
You know my kids.
Their cute stories.
And that I think my Hubs is hot.

And I don't even know your name.

And call me crazy, but I don't like that.

So,
if you log on one day, and my settings are set to private, you'll know why.

Meanwhile, if you want to be added to a list of approved readers, email me:
theorangefamily AT yahoo DOT com

I may or may not have approved readers. I could just decide to do what I set out in the beginning & that's write for pure documentation's sake...as a rememberance & sorta-scrapbook about our family. So that the cuteness goes noted.

Private Eyes (ch'chu)
are watching you (ch'chu)
They see your every move
(oo ooh)

A Horse-Mechanic

...does such a job exist?
Apparently. And my girl? She's vocationally-expertised.
She asked for Daddy's screw driver & went to town 'fixing' the underbelly of the horse.

You know what's really bizarre? (besides of course, fixing the underside of a spring horse),

I'm pretty sure that in an old photo album, my mom has an identical photo of me doing the exact same thing to my spring horse.

Apparently this is hereditary.

Weird, Weird, Family

I mean, you couldn't have thought that the apple fell far from the tree, eh?
And it didn't.

I'm tired. Too tired to add explanation to these photos.

But enjoy, nonetheless, enjoy.

Couldn't Resist

Maybe some of you see this commercial & think, "Cool. Good idea." But when Jeff & I first saw it, we burst into fits of laughter & had so many things to say (as usual). I couldn't wait to embed it on my blog (can't figure out how, thinking youtube doesn't embed for blogger anymore??) & share the corniness. Enjoy.

Insomnia (again)

What is wrong with me? (besides a head littered w/ a bajillion things)

One good thing about insomnia (should good + insomnia be in the same sentence?),
I get a lot done, as there are no little fingers in my way, no little feet under mine, & no one saying, "MOM, look!" every five seconds. :)

Everyone's clothes are lined out for tomorrow (in addition to outfits to change into throughout the temperature-fluctuating day), everything is ready to roll for Sunday.

Too bad I'm going to be so exhausted, it will all be a blur.

We're leaving at 7 am to begin our day. Wow, if I go to sleep right now, I'll get under 5 hours of sleep. But, five hours of sleep is better than nothing!

So I just need to go to sleep now.

Right now.

Okaaaay, NOW.

Go.

Insomnia

Dates, names, to-do lists...
all littering my brain.

Traffic jam of
things to remember...
ideas...
worry.

Added to
caffeine.

Makes it
impossible to sleep.

And Because Pictures Make it All Better...

there's something oddly familiar about this photo.

and there's something about this I like.

DARN YOU Caleb Zustiak!!!

Who showed me this video a few days ago & IT WILL NOT LEAVE MY HEAD.
I wake up with it playing in my head, go to sleep with the tune singing, & I kid you not, keep finding myself whistling it.

WARNING, has a few icky phrases that might not be suitable for the 'aware' kids.

Otherwise, join me on the planet of CATCHY TUNES STUCK IN MY HEAD.


Click Here For Catchy

Confirmation

That it is indeed summer:
The crazy neighbors next door just had their father over taking the CHRISTMAS LIGHTS off the house.
And the whole time I'm thinking - given the average month to put up lights is November, aren't you just 1/2 a year away from putting them back up?
Or,
you can look at it like this:
they definitely got their effort's worth.
You know, some people go through all this trouble to have their lights up for "only" a month. This way, the neighbors really got to enjoy their dad's effort.
Sidenote: Jeff thinks one of them is gay.

It's a great place to live.

You Don't Say

A lot of times when I mean to write "barely", I accidentally write "barfly". And, sometimes I wonder how accidental it really is.

Another funny thing - when we built in this subd 6 yrs ago, we learned all our neighbors' names. And since then, about 1/2 of them have moved on, selling their homes to the current owners. The weird thing about hot hubs & I is that we still call those homeowners (the current ones), by the old owners' names.
So,
to whoever lives in Dan's; Ben & Rhonda's; Matt & Vicki's; Miranda & Josh's; & the Mexicans (who literally crossed the border to live here in this humble community), we say,
Welcome.
And please don't be offended if we don't learn your name.
We won't be here long.

I Felt the Earth Move Under My Feet part deux

Last night wasn't the only time I've felt the earth shake. And when Jeff told me it was only rain & wind, that was enough to convince me to go back to the comatose state I had just gotten into after checking on Gabe's temp at 3 am.
Little did we know just two hours away, a pretty sizable earthquake was making the charts.

It got me thinking, would I know what to do in the event that it did more than rattle our windows & cause our frames to be less than straight?
Turns out, I wouldn't have a clue, I took this quiz & failed miserably. I guess all that training back in high school (thanks to Nostradamus' big scare) was only stored in my short term memory bank. And stop, drop, & cover is all I remember.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Why does Gabe keep licking his knee??

Just in Case You Thought I Was Exaggerating

Remember when I said I had 4 loads of laundry?

It was more like six. On the bed. One in the dryer. One in the washer.

Helpful Tips on Parenting

I know first time parenting can be confusing, but seriously? (really tho, I've always picked baby's nose -- they much prefer it to the bulb syringe)

Here at the Perry House,

when we do it, we do it allll the waaaay.

Like Gabe. He got sick yesterday. And well, he decided, that like his momma getting her review on her job & her pastor saying she puts 110% & all her heart into her job,
well, he decided he would be sick 110%.

In the matter of 24 hours, he worked his temp up to 102 (I think it was 103 this a.m.), he puked after I got him dressed, he coughed all night, and he worked himself into 2 infections (double ear + sinus infection), so the doctor wouldn't feel he'd wasted his time.

Flynn is going for Most Popular at her preschool. I have yet to do a pick-up & not have a parent say, "Oohhhhhhh, you're Flynn's Mom.... little Suzy talks about her all the time."
As if my chest needs help puffing, I admit to being the celeb's mom.
Wonder if she'll put me up in a mansion when we're older.

When Jeff's emergency brake gave out, it didn't just roll a bit. It rolled ALL THE WAY down our subdivision hill, across 2 yards & settled just mere feet in front of a neighbor's home.
Not just once.
But four times friend, four times (each time after having it "fixed").

I didn't tell you this dear internet, but this past summer, Jeff & I contributed to the annual church fourth of July variety show, because, well, we want to be supportive (code word for steal the show).
We didn't just contribute, we put on cheerleader costumes & spoofed the SNL Spartan Cheerleaders. We're that corny. We re-wrote the skit to incorporate inside church jokes about set-up, the Pastor's wife, & other slams. Also, brought down the house with a funky cold medina remix... wherein Jeff may have hollared & kicked over my head.
The skit was such a success, we were encored to do it AT CHURCH, and so, we rallied for help at our VBS through the script. This time, moments before going on, we were given wireless mics. And backstage (literally), right before our entrance, I looked at the mic pack (a pack holding batteries & the necessary mechanisms), then looked down at my lack of pockets. I was wearing a cheerleader skirt & some fitted shortys for crying out loud. So, I opted to tuck the pack safely in my waist band.
Except,
it wasn't so 'safely' tucked.
After a few kicks & double stag jumps, the mic pack had dangerously slid into the crotch of my undies.
Lordy no.
I found myself in that dangerous position I was in, where I looked down to see the toe of my shoe through my bridesmaid's dress.
I knew, that I could not jump, stag, kick, or be too terribly exciting; les my cheerleader spoof would turn into a horror skit, wherein I give birth to a mic pack.

I don't think we'll ever be accused of not giving it enough effort. We might not get the Most Improved Award, or the MVP...Going for the Hustler Hustle award.

Remember this from last year?

Now the whole family is elved!
(clicky-click, but warning, uncontrollable laughter is sure to follow!!)
And I think it's hilarious (& appropriate) that I'm the most seductive dancer of the bunch.

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Poops McGee

I have always worked with kids, to some capacity.
Always babysat. Always taught Sunday school.
Nannied in college. Worked at a day care for 5 years before becoming a teacher.
Taught for years.
Then had these 2 rascals.

So, I have definitely dealt with lots & lots of poop.

But never.

Ever in my life.

Have I dealt with so much poop.

As the last few days.


Gabe has a viral infection. We're hoping it's not rota virus. Lordy.

But I have to say again, that the networks & writers have been a'miss by not signing up this family for a reality tv show. We would have avid watchers everywhere & they would be laughing hysterically at the stuff that goes on here.

The first humorous scene was when he sat beside me in the recliner. This is one of our bedtime rituals. He sits on or by us & we read to him. As I started to smell it, I realized he had pooped... on ME. So, we put him in the tub. And me too. When I went back to check the recliner, I did not see a thing. Which now makes sense, as when you sit in a chair, you pull the cushion down & apart. When I went back & the cushion was where it normally is, I wouldn't have seen it.
But smelled it.
The next day.
And realized that the real source of the smell, was a small puddle beneath the recliner.
Can you say
EWWWWWWWWWW?!!

Then, the next day, which was yesterday, after one of his BM episodes, I put him in the shower (thank GOD for hose type of sprayer we just bought!!). Gabe has had "the big D" (& I don't mean Dallas) an average of 10 times per day for the last 3 days. This gave him, understandably, a pretty nasty rash..so after this shower, I thought I'd give him a few minutes to air out before putting his diaper back on him.
That's all it took.
And I sat here watching him, but as fast as he did this on the carpeted floor, he was walking through it.
I've tried everything. Next step it oxyclean. But I think this is the push we needed to rip up the carpet & go with hard wood floor. (cheap fake hard wood)

I decided to get proactive about his rash. So, on the internet, I looked up 'homeopathic rememedies / home remedies' for diaper rash. One particular treatment I saw was to bake flour. Just plain white flour, baked on a cookie sheet.
What it didn't tell me was that it would bake...and burn...immediately.
I guess I'm used to putting muffins, or cookies, in the oven & walking away & having about 10 minutes.
Not the case.
So when I put the sheet of flour in, I ran downstairs to switch over one of my many loads of laundry. While I was gone, the flour scorched, burned, & filled our tiny house with a thick stinky smoke.
Great, all I needed was for this to smell like a meth lab.

In the last 3 days, I've done 11 loads of laundry. We've went through an entire pack of diapers & an entire package of wipes. A thing of creamy desitin.

By the way?, I think the burnt flour worked.