Conversation on the Way to Dance

"Mommy, what does 'that sucks' mean? Is the 'gadage' sucking something? Does it sound like it's sucking?"

Is it okay to say icky words in front of your kids when you're locked out?

If You Get a Call From My Neighbors

and they tell you that Gabe walked outside this afternoon, pulled down his pants, & urinated off the porch,

don't believe a word they say.

Eating Grammy's Face

If it works, then do it.

And making people's faces out of food, has worked the last couple of days. The other day, Flynn ate two Papa faces & Gabe almost ate a whole Nana face.

This is Grammy's face. Flynn requested the elbow mac for "Gammy's Curly Hair".

And don't worry PeePaw, Gabe requested you as well. And ate most of your face.

All the Way, Baby

Cuz I don't do it half-way....

That's why, when just now, when I was making room in the fridge for the mammoth bowl of watermelon I'd just cut, I made a giant mess.

No, it could'nt have been a SMALL pitcher of tea I dropped, nope -- cuz that would be just 2 quarts of tea spilling all over my kitchen floor & making it's way to the brand new flooring in the livingroom (& would be far to easy to clean up)...

Nope, it had to be the big kahuna.

And of course, was it close to being empty?
Heavens no.

Three beach towels & most of it's sopped up.

Helpful Tips on Parenting

I know first time parenting can be confusing, but seriously? (really tho, I've always picked baby's nose -- they much prefer it to the bulb syringe)

Baby Birds

I started this tradition habit while making noodles...

I will say, "BABY BIRDS, BABY BIRDS!!"

And here they'll come, heads up,

beaks open,

while I drop in the baby bird pieces.

It's Noon, Do you know where your children Are?

Mine are right here. Enjoying a high-nutrient dessert of fig newtons. Thank God they're safe for Flynn.

It's been a busy morning. I did most of my "chores" last night while Jeff was in bible study, so that all morning I could belong to the kids.

Here's what we've packed into the morning:

Painted a unicorn suncatcher. This was one of Flynn's bday gifts that I tucked away for such an occasion (that occasion being Flynn being up before 7 am & me wanting Gabe NOT to be).

Playdough play. Making various common objects, such as bells & arrows. Someone tell me why cookie cutter companies think of things like bells & arrows?

Watercolor art. Because. Well, why not?

Flynn tried to call Papa twice. She wanted him to come over & join the fun. But he was out gallavanting with his retired friends. So, he was unreachable.

About this time, Flynn fell off the ottoman, backwards. Being the non-resiliant child she is, she decided to use her pain & misfortune to boycott getting dressed & being reasonable.

More playdough. Flynn likes to take the blue & green "swirly" (mixed up) playdough & make 'the earth'. Then, she points to a random (probably not random to her) spot & say, "This is where we live." "This is where Aunt Gee lives." Pretty smart, I realize now that I'm reflecting on it.

Then we played the brilliant game of "Let's Empty the Dishwasher". This is really a clever scheme that Daddy & I invented. Mmwwaaahhh aaa aaa (evil laughter). The kids think we're being super nice to them by letting them help. But the truth is, it enables us to get this daunting task done in about 32.7 seconds. Why? Not because of the extra hands putting things away, per se. But because of the fear that the extra hands will drop some of the glass & other breakables. It makes us move all that much faster. You should try this some time. Talk about expedited.

Next, I-Spy computer game. Flynn drives me crazy with the computer. This girl loves technology. And would've been happy with a blackberry from Santa. Bubs & I checked this game out yesterday, at the library....right after he boycotted storytime ("this is for the birds" he yelled out, in Mandarin).
I set the timer for Flynn, while G-man & I headed back to his room for some boy play. I taught him the important skill of holding his face just far enough from the dinosaur, that his sharp scary teeth will be mere millimeters away from your face, when he does his calculated turn. You know, life skills. Things he can take to school with him...experiences to make him a successful man.

By now, the troops were getting restless & ready for something else. Then, the cursed Dora Game House was requested. Dora Game House is a thorn in my side as it contains EIGHT, count them, games. And THREE of those are card games (a whole 'nother story), which look similar. Old Maid looks uncomfortably like Crazy Eights, which is the same color as Go Fish! So, imagine when ALL THREE card games are strewn across the livingroom floor.

So, the three of us play bingo. This is fun 'til Bubs starts doing somersaults. Bubby + somersaults + bingo chips + not-completely-flat bingo cards = Flynn having a total heart attack.
Bingo had to end quickly, and that took total creativity on Momma's part. Let's just say, it wasn't total fate that the spinner landed on Green Isa.

Fast forward to dominos. I didn't even know how to play this game. Flynn taught me. I asked where she learned it. I expected her to say the local retirement village. Or Nana's. Or Gram's. But she said, "Chelsea's House." Hmm, okay.
What was Bubby doing you ask? Well, I'll fill you in. He was standing on the couch (against the rules) behind me, stage diving. Onto. My. Head. At one point, I figured a good way for him to learn why standing on the couch was against the rules, was to let him go plummeting to the hard floor. He hit with a thud. Looked surprised. And started rubbing his hip. I thought to myself, 'Smart move Momma. That'll teach him. Looks like he got the message.' But that's right about the time he growled a satisfied growl & began a laugh that can only mean: Repeat.

God help me. I'm outnumbered. Then I remembered my weapon. Lunch.

"Flynn, what do you want to make for lunch?"

"Noodles."

So, I taught her about burners (right now, Nan & Gram are having a collective cardiac arrest). She turned on the back burner & started the water. She poured in the pasta when the water was boiling. Unfortunately, more noodles went all over the stove, counter, & floor, than actually into the pot. That's when supermomma turned into tired & over-extended momma & I made her push her chair back to the table to wait there for the rest of lunch.

But 1/2 way back to the table, she meets up with Gabe, and his dinosaur. Words were exchanged, some in english, some in Māori. Threats were made. And Sissy got owned.
Nothing a good bowl of noodles can't cure.
Thank God for carbohydrates.
Now we're all tired.
Unfortunately, some of us are in denial about our exhaustion.

Not me.

Reasons I Should Not Supervise Children, Installment #2

We had to wake Flynn from her nap, which typically means damage control for about the next hour or baby prozac, one of the two.
I joined Jeff who was bedside, doing his darndest to make her smile.

I laid next to her & instantly my crazy took over. I started to cry like a baby (have I mentioned what a fabulous baby voice I have?) & she kinda laughed but asked what I was doing.

"How about I be the baby & you can be my momma?" I proposed.

She was happy to oblige & I started to cry for a cup. My legs went flailing up & so did my arms... I cried for a cup & cried for my momma.
She hopped up & started toward the kitchen & that's when I gave her the idea of pretending her bookshelf was a refrigerator & she could give me a "pretend cup." She did & I gulped that right down & started crying for another.
She was a quick & obedient mother; but was still not quite as amused as I thought (hoped) she'd be.

That's when my legs went up again & I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I made a 'noise' (you know what I'm getting at here) & told her, "Waa, waa, change my diaper."

Her already-large eyes, got even bigger & she stood frozen in the middle of her room, very much deer in the headlights. I said it again, "Baby go poo-poo!! Waa, waa, change baby's diaper!!!!"

By this point, she was edging toward her doorway & had a look in her eyes that I possibly have never seen.

"I don't think I want to play this anymore."

And out the door she went.