What Will I Rename This Blog?

As the days near, to that point (when? I'm not sure) when the bulk of my day won't be spent at home, I am starting now to appreciate it.

Did we plan it to be this way? No. We didn't. We always planned to have these two kids & for me to promptly return to work after each of them.
But destiny has a way of making a person say, "huh?" & it definitely left us dumbfounded.

I've always been one of those people. The kind that are quick to do something...actually do without thinking...then later say, 'I wish I hadn't.' Or who want something -- the proverbial grass on the other side, that's greener. Then, I find myself on the greener side & realize, I miss the less-green side.

These days I've spent at home, knowing it could be no other way, I've basically spent grumbling, complaining, agonizing over unpaid bills. Living with just the basics. Clipping coupons. Garage sales. And tv antennae rabbit ears.

God forgive me...
He gave me this gift, the only way He knew I'd accept it. Without choice. We have made this work. And granted it's going to take us a really long time to climb the slippery wall of debt, we'll do it & we'll know that for the first few years of Gabe's life & the whole preschoolhood of Flynn's, I was here. Holding them when they were sick. Letting them sleep in (if they would already!). And not missing a single beat.

Just a few days ago, I was planning in my mind, my return to the full time work force. We know it will be fall of '09 (when Flynn can be away from me in the 'safety' of a nearby school...if not the school I teach in), if not sooner in the event she outgrows this crazy allergy -- or if something else were to work out. And it all started orchestrating itself as a reality to me.

Especially with Gabe, this is all I've known. Never taking him to a sitter or handing him to a stranger. Yet that will become a reality.

Today, in Gabe's poopy-stupor, we braved out to the post office because of sheer necessity. And in celebration of not being pooped on all day, we stopped at the park we were about to pass.

It was sunny. Not crowded. And for a single period of time, I kid you not, it was if God had a single beam of light shining down on the three of us. We played. Blew bubbles. I chased them around a tree & spun them until we were all dizzy.

They drive me crazy...I vent in honesty all the time. But today I was so blissfully happy to be with them.

I am so thankful how things have turned out.