12 Days of Valentine, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

This is the photo that inspired me when making my wedding bouquet...

It's the final day, the 12th day...and it couldn't be more appropriate that this day I choose to thank you Jeff for your...

LOVE

You give it so freely, to everyone.

If this was the one thing Jesus really cared about asking us to do (appears in the NIV 551 times!), He's probably pretty pleased with you.

And the UNCONDITIONAL love you've shown me from the day we met, cannot be overlooked, nor can it be matched by anything.

This love shines through in everything you do. From the two jobs you keep, to the tireless way you come home from those two jobs & help me with the kids & the house & the chores that I should've had done by that time.

This love shows when you take your family to church every Sunday, and if we're so lucky to sit down during church, together, you never fail to put your arm around me & caress my shoulder.

That same love that inspires you to stay awake a little longer each night so that we can pray together.

It also is the same love that has cried with me in our sorrowful times...and has gushed with joy during the happy times of our life together.

It was in the look you gave me when the doctor told us Flynn was a girl, the look in your eyes when they laid Gabe on my chest.

In the tough times we've had together, it was the one constant. And despite the worries I may have had, everything else seemed to melt away with your regular display of love.

And on this, our 7th Valentine together, I hope you never doubt my love for you. It has not only kept from fading, it burns so brightly sometimes I'm sure I'm beaming. And it's because of you...

Happy Valentine's Day Jeff, I LOVE you!

Psalm 117:2 "For he loves us with unfailing love..."

12 Days of Valentine are drawing to a close...

Jeff proposed to me, right here, literally where I sit....only there wasn't an office chair, at a computer, in a livingroom. There were plans to be, but there wasn't yet. He took me here to look at the progress of our would-be house, and formalized the way we'd felt & the plans we'd made, and asked for my hand in marriage. 6 weeks later, we were mr & mrs. Now that's romance.

11th Day, 11th Way

GENTLENESS

From how gentle you kiss me to how gentle you lovingly discipline the kids.

How when you get mad, your brow might wrinkle, and that's probably the only physical change that will take place. I doubt your heart even beats faster.

You put things together with a tender touch & hold a baby like he or she is an egg.

And I love you, the way you are.

12 Days of Valentine...10th Day

I know, too freakish to be funny...

On this, the 10th day of Valentines, I had to pry my sick self from the recliner but you're worth every cough I succumb to send you my love...

The 10th day, the 10th way is your easiness.

Get your mind out of the gutter! By easiness, what I mean is you're so easy going you make everything easy.

You rarely stress, I never see you nervous. You never get uncomfortable because you are new, or don't know anyone.

As a matter of fact, I think the 2nd time you'd visited my parents, you were laying sideways across their loveseat, feet dangling off the side. Probably the third time you visited my sister & her family, you got a blanket (what we fondly call the "pimp blanket" on account of its furriness) & laid down in front of the fire & covered yourself. You were completely comfortable.

And that's how you approach life.

Easy.

I love it. It's the very reason my blood pressure is high & yours is low.

Easy to please & easy to love.

And I love to do both.

xoxo

9th Day of Valentine

You're even good with a bow & arrow.

Thank God I only did 12...I'm starting to wish I'd just done 3. Oy.

Alright honey, I'm worn out here, but I'll try not to let it show in my writing, because, you're worth every keystroke I type.

And I thank you for

Your Skillz

That goes for everything, from what I wouldn't want our mothers to read to the fact that your soccer talents paid your way to a teaching degree.

No matter what we do, I never have a doubt that you'll not only do it well, but will be the best one at it.

• Last night, you made soup. Not just did it sustain our growling tums, but it was downright tasty y'all.



• 
  



• At the park, you do upside down flips on the monkey bars.



• 
  



• In the snow, you know just how to handle the slick spots.



• 
  



• You can open a jar of pickles like nobody's biz.



• 
  



• You colored my hair, thus saving us $50 & it looked fab.



• 
  



• You deliver a lesson at church & keep the kids coraled & informed & entertained.



• 
  



• You're getting pretty darn good at the cha-cha-slide, almost as good as me.



• 
  



• You've mastered all the wii games at Nana's.



• 
  



• You can hook up any electronic gadget & do so, for our 'bigs'.



• 
  



• I've previously discussed your Mr Mom mastery.



• 
  



• You shovel the drive with speed & finesse.



• 
  



• You put together marble works waaaay better than momma.



• 
  



• You are the 'go-to' guy for any iTunes questions.



• 
  



• You are pretty good at helping a prego momma put her socks on.



• 
  



• You're tops at changing poopy diapers.



• 
  



• You know how to warm my heart (& my feet).

I love you sweetie pie & am happy that you're darn-right great at everything.

xoxo

8th Day of Valentine

"Funny Hats" August, 2001, Staff Meeting

HUMOR

I've already spoken of your outgoingness. And the line between the two of them is pretty fuzzy. It's hard to have one & not the other.



Did you know that I often didn't like to watch comedians? It took a LOT to make me laugh. Sit coms were boring. And the loud ones at parties, who usually got the chuckles? I thought they were just plain corny. I thought I was funny & maybe my sister, but not very many people tickled my funny bone.



Within are first few times of 'hanging out', you had made me laugh more than anyone I knew. Sometimes it was laughing at you, sometimes with you, & sometimes from you.



I probably haven't given you enough credit in this department, as I don't want to let down my humor guard... but let's just say, if humor is good medicine, I'd have a lot more health problems if you weren't around.
Sometimes, when you're at work, I'll laugh, thinking of something funny you did or said.



And I'll never get this out of my head: (what is now famously referred to as THE PAPER BLOCK)



It was August of 2001, we had been really good friends for several months, spending most of our time together. You were making your feelings more & more clear to me, but I was practicing restraint & being reserved about things.

You had shared with a girl we taught with, how you're never able to get close to me...that it seemed I always sat on the other side of the room, or positioned myself so that you left me alone.



In my apartment, I had -well - apartment furniture. Pier 1 would've been proud of the set up, as I used a single papasan chair in the corner & a double in lieu of a couch.

You told Jaime, "She always goes to that single chair first...I never even have a chance to sit beside her..."
She gave you the advice of, "next time you're with her, YOU go to that single chair first. She'll have no choice but to sit in the double. Then, in time, get up & sit in the double WITH her."



So, the night that could've been the turning point for us, I cooked us a would-be romantic dinner of chicken parmasean. You had your plan in place & headed straight for the single papasan. Just as if it were going smoothly, I headed to the double papasan. As I approached it, you were in such a hurry to beat me to the single, that you landed with too much velocity.

I still replay it in my mind... you hit the chair & tried to land as if all was well. But the law of motion didn't think so. Your arms windmilled as you s l o w l y went backwards...further...and further....and it seemed like five minutes had passed before you grasped the intersection of wall behind you like Spiderman. And then somehow tried to figure out how to pull yourself out of the situation.



We both had a good laugh. I didn't laugh as much as I felt like laughing, afterall, I knew you had a reputation to protect some pride.



But you still thought your plan would work. I could tell you were watching my every move. You had your next move calculated.

I did go to the double papasan, but your plan was FOILED when I spread out all my insurance paperwork around me which I had to turn it in the next day.



You shared this all with me a few weeks later, when we were "more than friends."



This funny scenario is one of the many. We're probably not as funny to other people as we are to each other. It's like our own language. We know where the line is with each other (I think it's the same line) & one of us whinces when the other tries a joke out on someone else & it goes awry. (which makes it that much funnier to the other person)



We've been through some situations in our life together that weren't fun. We still go through them. But I'm so thankful that I have someone to love & laugh with.



Thank you honey, for the gift of humor.

That's what she said.

7th Day of Valentine

On the 7th Day of Valentine, My true love gave to me,



The gift of being


MR MOM.



I can't imagine that too many moms, especially of a toddler & a preschooler, are completely, 100%, fine with leaving their kids with daddy.



But I am.



I do believe that God's given us Mommas a little something extra special, even after our lactating days are over, that is the one thing no one else has.

It's probably the same as my ability to look like the Pied Piper leading around the mice (picture this, while I'm on an important phone call, going from room to room in the house, all in an attempt to escape noise).

It's the same as when I go into the bedroom to fold & put away laundry. And even tho there is ASBOLUTELY NOTHING of interest in our room, at least not to the 4 & under crowd, they want to be in there.

BECAUSE I AM.

And usually that's endearing, but sometimes also annoying, as Gabe tends to mess up laundry piles.



And Jeff, even though you don't have that unspecified God-given gift, that instinct that is a cure-all in every situation (like I'm some kind of proverbial band aid for every proverbial boo boo), you do have a talent of caring for the kids, that almost matches mine.



When I have a night at the office, or an evening meeting, or a girls' night out, and I come home to find both kids, not only have survived the evening, but have so much fun they want to talk about it the next morning, it's reassuring.

You not only do the minimum to care for them, you work hard to make it a peaceful return home. When I walk through the door to silence & sleeping kids, and a clean livingroom floor, it doesn't make me feel guilty that I had to leave. It makes me happy that if I ever walked out the door & couldn't return (sad thought!), the kids would be well cared for by their daddy.

You remember Flynn's medicine. You change Gabe's diaper as often as it should be. You don't take chances with Flynn & there's never been an episode while she's with you.
It's harmonious when you're here with them, and I never call home to check up & hear distress in the background or a plea from you for me to hurry up & hurry back.

It makes me want to return the favor.

And take a trip to Mexico.

I love you honey. xoxo.

Days of Valentine - 6th way

This way is one of my most prized:

GOOD LOOKS

Otherwise known as:

• eye candy


• hot


• very attractive


• not-so-bad-on-the-eyes


• quite the looker


• gorgeous


• yummy


• cute


• beautiful


• sexy


• striking


• handsome

That's him alright. I wouldn't go so far as to say he's my trophy husband. But I would go so far as to say that I proudly wear myself on his arm when we go places and I've always been proud to introduce him to acquaintances he's never met.

Did you know that before he knew me, I saw him & inquired about him? My niece Hannah was in third grade at the school which he taught at (which I later taught at). He taught second grade, two doors down from her class.

I took Hannah to school a couple of different occasions, late, & "needed" to walk her to her class. I tried to be nonchallant while getting a good 'gander' into his classroom. You know, it's not often that elementary teachers are men. And even more rare that they're worth a second look (let alone three, four, or five looks).

Later, I asked Hannah about him. She giggled & was excited at my interest. Before I knew it, she'd told one of her friends who supplied her with a bunch of "facts" (which weren't very factual).

He never knew a student's aunt was hot after him. And I don't think he actually saw me until a year later when I subbed next door to him. And even then I'm not sure he 'really' saw me (the monumental moment was a month later when I subbed for him).

How often do people get to marry someone who took their breath away at first sight? And even less often than that, those people continue to stay smitten with their spouse.

I'm glad I'm one of those few.

Days of Valentine - 5th Way

GODLY

When I was growing up, playing "M.A.S.H." & planning how many kids I'd have & what I'd name them, I doubt this was on the top of the lists when it came to character traits in a husband.
Hot
Rich
Drives a fast car
That's about the maturity level of my thoughts back in those days.

It wasn't until I was closer to reaching spiritual maturity that I realized that Godliness was something I'd want my partner to have attained.

Here's why:

1. Priorities. To keep them in the order God wants them, just happens to be in the order that a doating wife would.
2. Fathering. What God wants him to be, is most likely what the kids would want. Esp at this point in their young lives. Someone who's home when he can be. Spends time with them. Is 'present' when he's here.
3. Loyal to me & our marriage.
4. Eyes for me. In the world in which we live, it's so hard for men to keep their eyes on their prize.
5. Sharing a common interest with me. And that's Christ. (among several others)
6. Prayer. It's the first thing we do in times of trouble. It feels so good to have him pray with me each night before we go to bed.

So, thank you honey for following Christ & working hard to be like Him.

Song of Solomon 1:17 The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs.

Let Me Count the Ways...Day 4

The 4th:

OUTGOING'NESS

This guy will do anything...anything he thinks sounds fun, looks fun, sounds funny, or that will help someone.

Kinda like when little pal Zach, suffering from cancer, needed a little spending money for eating out on those long days & weeks of treatments.
Guess who volunteered to have his wife shave their head into a faux hawk, all in the name of raising some dollars?

Who dressed up in a Spartan's cheerleader's costume, for the annual 4th of July bash?

Who has tea parties with his little girl, build snowmans in the front yard, and does 50% of the grocery shopping?

Who rolled up some old lady's fingers in our car window, when she exhibited a little road rage? Who tells the people at the drive-thru window, "it's TO GO", just because I tried to trick him into it?

Who did karaoke at my request, wore a tux in 93 degree weather because I wanted to get married outside, and held my hair back while I puked (many a time)?

Who played kickball with me & our students on recesses? Who has done many a 'chinese firedrill' (is that not politically correct?) with me at intersections? Who sees to it that about once a month, a carton of bubblegum ice cream 'falls' into the cart while he's grocery shopping?

Who played (& won) the Newlywed Game on our little cruise ship on our honeymoon, rode a "rascal" (motorized old people cart) across shop n save's parking lot (pretty recently) because I thought it would be funny (& it was, I pee'ed a little in my pants just watching from the car), & who enjoyed enjoyed a private Barenaked Ladies concert with me & thought it was great when I had each member of the band sign my big prego stomach?

And although the things we do now, all in the name of fun, have slightly changed since our wild & single days...
the idea stays the same.

Jeff doesn't care that his silliness might cross over into slightly dorkiness. That doesn't matter.

Hey Jeff, I dare you: Start singing, right now in your classroom, "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman"....do it, double-dog dare you.

3rd Way, My Valentine

Hey, did you know this is in lieu of a present?

Just FYI, don't want you getting your hopes up for nothing...

It's the 12 Days of Valentine my love, and for the 3rd day of 12 DOV, I give to you,

COMMITMENT.

110%.

Did you know I wanted a honeymoon baby? I hoped we'd have us a spring baby nine months after our wedding. It didn't happen that way. As a matter of fact, it didn't happen how I wanted it to at all. It took a lot longer than I wanted and wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination.

Nothing about the first pregnancy was easy. And when I was put on bed rest, it was the nail in the proverbial financial coffin. We had decided to not renew our teaching contracts that year but we picked a rough year to do that. Missouri did major budget cuts in education & not only were teachers not finding jobs, they weren't being replaced.

While I laid in bed 23 hours of each day the last trimester, Jeff worked two jobs so we wouldn't have to start selling the shirts off our backs.

Then Flynn came along, early, and wasn't healthy. We had to tearfully watch her isolette get loaded into an ambulance, twelve hours old, and leave us to go to a critical care hospital.

That night, Jeff held me, sobbing...we missed her so much.

Until I was released, which was postponed due to a fever I couldn't get rid of, Jeff spent days with Flynn, then would return to my hospital at night & show me video of the baby girl I so wanted to hold.

I remember when we came home - without her. I cried as we turned onto our street. I thought that the next time I would come home, it would be with our new baby in the back seat. I still remember, like it wasn't 50 months ago, he looked at me surprised at my tears, but just as sad as me, "Oh honey."

Then, when we were blessed again - this time with a baby we'd never meet; we once again leaned on each other. I remember laying in bed the night I lost the baby, and Jeff holding me until I fell asleep. He never thought I overreacted, he never tried to get me to stop crying, he just loved me.

There were several similar instances that followed in our parenting days...

my crazy medical issues...

surgeries...

seeing me in very vulnerable positions.

He never appeared to be annoyed at what he had to put up with. He never cast it off like the problems were mine.

He was always right by me.

It took a while to get used to, but once I did, I never felt safer in my life. To have someone love you, take care of you, and to know: This person will never leave me. Ever.

When he pulled his weight plus mine. He never grumbled. When he took care of a 2 year old & a baby, while his wife was in the hospital for days, undetermined when she'd be released, he never panicked. He never complained. And never whinced.

Instead, he delivered the small amounts of milk I pumped - to nurse's refrigerators. Then toted them home in a cooler, and fed them to a hungry six month old.

He never wonders, 'What if?'. He never says, 'I wish.' He never gets frustrated because he can't watch soccer on our old tv that only gets 4 channels, not one of those carrying his favorite sport. He doesn't sound off that there are things around here that he can not fix, or add, because we don't have the money.

And he's never pressured me to return to full time work before we're both sure Flynn is ready; even though I know the lure of less debt & buying extras has to be singing loudly in his ear.

I know I'm hard to live with. Sometimes I get on my own nerves. I'm bossy & neurotic. Kinda like Erma Bombeck meets Rain Man. Seriously eccentric & just plain old odd.

It's been a roller coaster ride since the day we said, 'I do.' And it continues to be a ride.

But he just keeps raising his hands & wanting to go faster.

Love you babe, thanks for stickin' around.

Let Me Count the Ways.... day 2

For the 2nd day of the 12 Days of Valentine, I present to you:

PERMANENT BEER GOGGLES.

Doesn't sound too romantic. And the truth is, Jeff has never had real beer goggles for me. But it's a metaphor I use quite frequently to explain how he sees me in this strange dilluted way. He really thinks I'm pretty -- like for real (totally to the max).

If I didn't have a mirror, I would think I was hot. That's how he makes me feel. The way he treats & handles me, I'm all, wow, I must totally look like Eva Longoria. Then, I walk by a mirror, see my image, and am quickly jolted into the reality of Rosanne Barr.

And it's not just lip service he's paying me. I think he really thinks that. He still acts smitten when he sees me 'diddied up' to go on a date or for something special. We still dance in the kitchen when a slow song comes on. And our kids don't even think it's weird that we're constantly kissing, they've never known anything different.

If I were an artist, I would create a picture to show how I see this. It would have a really large pair of specs on Jeff, so large & off his face that 'we' could see the image he's seeing through his glasses. But, we could also see me standing before him, in the 'real' image.

We would see some bombshell through his glasses, then, in 'real time', we'd see, well, me.

Sometimes I wonder why. Or, what's wrong with him. He comes home most days, from being in a workplace full of teenage girls, who no doubt put hours into their appearance before coming to school. They haven't a wrinkle or a post-baby body. And, being the Godly & decent man that he is, doesn't give a second thought to that but I still think, "Um, surely there's a subconcious comparison going on."

And then, I think of how long I waited & prayed for Jeff. And maybe he was praying for me. Or maybe his mom was praying for his future wife. And I think of the nights I laid in bed alone & wondered who God had designed for me. And the weddings I'd go to, or sing in, and see happy couples & wonder when I'd be blessed. I stayed faithful to God through rough times & just prayed that my blessing would come.

And it did.

And I can't help but think this might be one of them. I don't care if you think I'm pretty. Or that you wonder why I still haven't lost the 'baby weight' from Gabe. Or if you think in your mind that I should probably change out of my pj pants before Jeff gets home.

What I do care about is what he thinks. And that he looks over at me, on the way to church after I put the final touches on my make up, and he shakes his head in disbelief. Sometimes he says, "oh, those lips." Sometimes he just squeezes my hand & asks me how he got so lucky.

I guess it's love.

Solomon 1:15 How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful! Your eyes are like doves.

How Do I Love Thee? Let me count 12 ways...

It's the 12 Days of Valentine. And I'm going to lavish my love in gifts of words.

In case you haven't gathered, I'm totally nuts about my hubby. He doesn't do much wrong in my eyes & speaking of my eyes, he's totally easy on them.

Mmhm.

So today, the 12th way that I love Jeff (kinda like a top ten, but there's 12 & they're all about how wonderful Jeff is):

Number 12 means never having to say you're sorry.

What's that mean exactly?

Well, it means, as wrong as it would be, I'd probably never have to say I'm sorry. It means that's how forgiving this guy is.

Last night, we were at a staff party, and our game was to write on an index card, a trait that you admire in 'that' person. So, when I came to him, I wrote FORGIVENESS.

I don't think I'm cocky when I say that I don't do much to him that would merit an apology. Am I perfect? No-sirree-Bob. Not even close.

But, outward actions to hurt him.

Almost non-existant.

Do I underappreciate him, take him for granted sometimes, boss him too much, and expect too much from him?
Yes-sirree-Bob.

Does he get mad at me over those things? Maybe. Does he demand an apology? No. Does he forgive me without me even asking him to?

YES.

Have I sat in awe & admired watching him being wronged by different 'friends' & family members, then watched him be hurt, or mad... then having that offense wash away, down the drain like the bathwater? Yes. And I LOVE that about him.

There are people who have hurt him who don't even know it.

And they never will.

He's so like Christ when it comes to that.

And he doesn't get passive-aggressive. Or hold a grudge. Or act one way to their face & another to their back.

As a matter of fact, sometimes I bring up one of those offenses (sound familiar, like the serpeant? Are you calling me satan??!)...and friends, HE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER IT.

Poof! Just like that! In the 'sea of forgetfulness.'

I like that about him.

I love you Honey.

xoxoxo