I woke up to notice Jeff not beside me. Which was strange. And when I got up to look for him, I saw both kids' beds were empty. I started to panic. No one should be awake so early. The cars were still here, he couldn't have taken them anywhere. And as I searched through the house yelling their names, I got the strangest feeling.
At some point, after I'd made phone calls, listened to the radio, turned on the tv, it became clear to me. And after preparing for it my whole life, it happened & I got left behind.
This was a dream I had Saturday night. And although, through the course of the dream, it evolved into me not being the main character, yet me watching this happen to someone else; it was still enough to shake me to my core & leave such an impression on it, that 30 hours later, I can't get it off my mind.
And I want to be sure that you are ready. That anyone who thinks my blog is of any interest, has read with their own eyes, perhaps something you'd never known before. It's the other side of what we live. A side that isn't talked about much.... it's not fluffy or heartwarming. It's not rainbows & doves & kittens & sunshine. It's not 'God Bless You' or 'Peace to You.'
I was surprised to recently read that Rapture has become something that is believed in by just evangelical religions.
According to the Word of God, the next great event in the fulfillment of prophecy will be the coming of the Lord in the air to receive to Himself into heaven both His own who are alive and remain unto His coming, and also all who have fallen asleep in Jesus, and that this event is the blessed hope set before us in the Scripture, and for this we should be constantly looking (John 14:1:3; 1 Cor. 15:51:52; Phil. 3:20; 1 Thess. 4:13:18; Titus 2:11:14).
Hey, someone a long time ago must've thought so too -- graves are still buried facing the east.
No matter -- whether you believe that people are going to instantly be taken up (some films depict the clothing left behind, the cars left driving) --- or believe in a different order of events... pretribulation, post, etc., I feel confident in saying that most Christian religions believe that Jesus is coming again, the dead will be resurrected, and the problem of sin will be fully and finally resolved.
Isn't that a much better eternity to think of; rather than, you live, you die, that's it. ?
Maybe I won't be arround for Christ's return. Maybe I'll die today. Maybe you will. Either way, isn't it best to know what will happen if we do die?
I pray often for Christ's return. I don't want to be around to bury one of our parents...to see more sadness in this world.... for 50 more years of back pain. Hopefully that doesn't come across as morbid. But just reading a glimpse of the glory of heaven, is enough for me to be excited for it.
Why did I have such a real dream? Why did God lay it on my heart? I don't think it was the pork loin I ate Saturday for dinner.
How do you know you're ready for Christ? How do you make sure that once you live, you die, you can "firm up" plans for eternity in heaven?...
So easy. So important -- in fact, inarguably, the most important thing you will have ever done. Here's how:
Know & believe that Jesus Christ was God's son - sent to earth to rescue a world full of people like us, sinners.... SO THAT, we could have the promise of heaven for eternity.
In the bible, in the book of John (3:16) is says,
God loved the world so much that He sent His son, so that the people who believe, don't have to just die -- but that we can live FOREVER in HEAVEN. (that's paraphrased by yours truly)
Then it's ABCs (can you tell I'm a teacher?!):
Admit/Accept -- "God, I know I sin. I do awful things. Please forgive me for all the bad stuff. For the years of not always doing the right thing...
Believe -- ....You are God. You sent Your son Jesus who died for me & rose from the deal. I want Him as my savior, as my friend. I accept Him as the One I live For. I trust in only Him......"
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved. Acts (4:12)
Confess -- ...to others. No, I'm not suggesting that you get a bible & stand on the corner on a box, screaming to passers-by. But what I believe was of huge importance in the bible, is spreading the gospel. Best done by you sharing w/ others, just how you feel about Christ. My goodness, some of us go on & on about a new facial cleanser, or a new recipe or sport, more than we do about the guy who let himself be killed for us!
And those others you confess Him to. More beneficial if they don't believe. Otherwise, you're literally preaching to the choir. Certainly uplifting to other believers! (& easy & stress free!) -- however, not so much effectice, eh?!
If you happen to be reading my silly little blog ... and have never heard any of this stuff... will you email me? (tightwadmomma@gmail.com) Or maybe you've heard it all before, but are at a place in your life where it all just makes sense. Please let me know. God doesn't intend for you to make such a step then wander aimlessly alone in your walk. He wants you to be supported. And He wants you to keep learning.
Now, onto a post about my kids, baby poop, & all the other ridiculous stuff I usually talk about...
Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
12.15.2008
10.21.2008
Opinions are like Backsides
Everyone has one -- and they all sm- well, I'll let you finish that.
And that's about how I feel lately. Like if someone else tells me what they think about something I do, feel, celebrate, eat, wear - or what my child wears, I think I will scream.
If I get another email about why you don't celebrate Halloween or have another person tell me that they're shocked my 4-year old daughter chose to dress up as a little orange, purple, & black witch*, I might cough in your face (incidentally, I'm also a little sick).
I always told my 3rd graders, "MYOB" (mind your own beeswax) & maybe I should bring the phrase back?
So, let's dig into it. Convictions that is. And talk about whom should be convicting whom. And how everyone has a line they don't cross (conviction) & how finding one other person to perfectly share your convictions is about like finding 2 matching snowflakes. As close as Jeff & I are to being one person, we don't even share the same convictions. And while I have lots of "easy-to-measure" convictions (legalism?), I fall short in lots of internal ways (perfectionism, judgementalism, impatience, over-sensitivity, unreachably expectantivism - I know, not a word). I will do some things that you won't do. You will do some things that I won't do. We all have dirt under our rugs somewhere --- some people sweep it further, others don't. God sees the dirt. Some other people see the dirt. And some people have such perfect rugs (the ones with gold tassels) that no one even suspects a fleck of dust lays under there. But it's there.
I just think it's extremely interesting that some people are so proud of their convictions that they want to share them with as many people as they can. Even more interesting when they share them with others who share the same convictions.
What if one day I 'decided' that the color blue was un-Christlike. And so, I got all the things out of my house that were blue. And then I blogged & sent out emails that were about the evils of the color blue. And that's about how I feel about some of the things people tell me they THINK are wrong. I'm like, "good for you that you are being proactive about something in your life that you think is unhealthy for your walk with Christ." But I'm also thinking that I don't see a thing wrong with blue & even after going back into the word & researching 'blue', I don't find anything that convicts me about that color.
I honestly am not bothered after someone passes judgement about a conviction I don't share. I just figure that I just need to pray for them, that they'll feel bad about being judgemental.
Maybe I should send out a mass email about that.
Just kidding.
*Just so we're clear, only one person said something.
And that's about how I feel lately. Like if someone else tells me what they think about something I do, feel, celebrate, eat, wear - or what my child wears, I think I will scream.
If I get another email about why you don't celebrate Halloween or have another person tell me that they're shocked my 4-year old daughter chose to dress up as a little orange, purple, & black witch*, I might cough in your face (incidentally, I'm also a little sick).
I always told my 3rd graders, "MYOB" (mind your own beeswax) & maybe I should bring the phrase back?
So, let's dig into it. Convictions that is. And talk about whom should be convicting whom. And how everyone has a line they don't cross (conviction) & how finding one other person to perfectly share your convictions is about like finding 2 matching snowflakes. As close as Jeff & I are to being one person, we don't even share the same convictions. And while I have lots of "easy-to-measure" convictions (legalism?), I fall short in lots of internal ways (perfectionism, judgementalism, impatience, over-sensitivity, unreachably expectantivism - I know, not a word). I will do some things that you won't do. You will do some things that I won't do. We all have dirt under our rugs somewhere --- some people sweep it further, others don't. God sees the dirt. Some other people see the dirt. And some people have such perfect rugs (the ones with gold tassels) that no one even suspects a fleck of dust lays under there. But it's there.
I just think it's extremely interesting that some people are so proud of their convictions that they want to share them with as many people as they can. Even more interesting when they share them with others who share the same convictions.
What if one day I 'decided' that the color blue was un-Christlike. And so, I got all the things out of my house that were blue. And then I blogged & sent out emails that were about the evils of the color blue. And that's about how I feel about some of the things people tell me they THINK are wrong. I'm like, "good for you that you are being proactive about something in your life that you think is unhealthy for your walk with Christ." But I'm also thinking that I don't see a thing wrong with blue & even after going back into the word & researching 'blue', I don't find anything that convicts me about that color.
I honestly am not bothered after someone passes judgement about a conviction I don't share. I just figure that I just need to pray for them, that they'll feel bad about being judgemental.
Maybe I should send out a mass email about that.
Just kidding.
*Just so we're clear, only one person said something.
4.07.2008
More on Oprah, Views: Christian vs New Age
I completely stole this from crosswalk.com.
Just thought it was interesting the way it was broken down.
What's Bothering Oprah, Eckhart Tolle and Today’s New Age Thinkers
Frank Pastore
"The Frank Pastore Show," KKLA, Los Angeles
March 28, 2008
I have a few questions—but they are not about whether Oprah Winfrey, Eckhart Tolle or Marianne Williamson are good, smart and nice people. I’m sure they are. My concern is about the ideas they hold—since good, smart, nice people can hold false beliefs and be wrong about all kinds of things. Sometimes, even the most important things.
I have questions about their worldview.
A worldview is made up of the answers we give to life’s most fundamental and profound questions. It includes the answers we give to questions of philosophy, religion, ethics and theology. And they are questions that have been asked and answered by every culture in world history.
When comparing and contrasting religions, worldview categories are the most basic level of inquiry.
If you know a person’s worldview, you know a whole lot about them. Oftentimes, you even know more about their thinking processes than they do.
Right now, Oprah is co-teaching an online class with author Eckhart Tolle, based upon her current Book of the Month, his “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.” And, Oprah’s promoting a daily radio show on her XM channel featuring Marianne Williamson teaching from “A Course in Miracles.”
Both Tolle and Williamson are New Age thinkers. Oprah says she’s a Christian—arguing that she can reconcile “her” Christianity with what they’re teaching. If she’s a Christian, she’s an ignorant one, because Christianity is incompatible with New Age thought.
Here’s how the two opposing worldviews, Christianity (C), and New Age (NA), answer some of the most basic worldview questions. The New Age answers are ones that would be commonly held, though certainly not universal, as the belief system is loose, eclectic and unique to each individual adherent.
1. Why is there something rather than nothing?
Christianity (C): God created the universe at the moment of the beginning of time, matter and space. Big Bang cosmology and all modern science affirms this.
New Age (NA): The universe is beginning-less, endless, eternal.
2. Does God exist?—and is He personal?
C: Yes, God is personal, and the Bible teaches God is three persons sharing one essence, what Christians refer to as the Trinity. More specifically, God is tri-personal.
NA: Yes and No. Yes, God is an impersonal force that exhaustively fills every atom of the eternal universe: All is God, God is all, God is all of us and God is each of us. No, there is no personal creator called God who is outside of time, matter and space.
3. Who am I?
C: A creation of God.
NA: God.
4. How did I get here?
C: God created man with moral freedom and invited him to join the presence of the Trinity. But man exercised his freedom in rebellion to God, and now only through the work of the incarnate God and second person of the Trinity, Jesus Christ, can that severed relationship be restored.
NA: Through the infinite process of karma. As God, you are eternal, and have been reincarnating from object to object for trillions of years, and when you ultimately achieve enlightenment, and remember that you are God, you will then lose your individual sense of self and consciousness and become One with the One. (Remember, there is no personal God. God is a force. You must return to being a force.)
5. Why am I here?
C: The Westminster Catechism answers this question beautifully: The chief end of man is “to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” I am called to make a decision with eternal consequences: either accept or reject God’s offer of salvation in Jesus Christ. I am also called to help others make a correct choice; to advance the true, the good, and the beautiful; to fight evil and injustice; to work with God at reconciling the world to Himself.
NA: To pay off previous karmic debt gathered over trillions of years.
6. What is the meaning of life?
C: To glorify God.
NA: To achieve enlightenment.
7. What is the true, the good, and the beautiful?
C: God—and his goodness can be seen through his creation.
NA: Since there is no distinction between creator and creation, there can be no distinctions between true-false, good-bad, right-wrong, ugly-beautiful, or pain-pleasure.
8. What is the best life?
C: A life in the full presence of God.
NA: The life immediately before enlightenment, since you will no longer exist as a person once you remember you are God.
9. Who is the best man?
C: Jesus Christ, the Man who never sinned.
NA: “Best” is a nonsensical moral category.
10. Why is there evil, pain, suffering, and injustice?
C: The Fall. Man exercised his freedom in rebellion to God and these are the consequences.
NA: People are paying off their karmic debt. As God, we are responsible for the reality we create for ourselves through our thinking and choices. If we are suffering, it is because we are choosing to suffer. If we think differently we can alter the external world and create our own reality.
11. Why do bad things happen to good people?
C: We live in a fallen world with moral freedom. Evil and sin exist. Men hurt themselves intentionally and accidentally. Our hope is only in God who is able to bring good out of evil.
NA: Karma.
Karma and reincarnation have all kinds of fatal logical problems. Who started karma and reincarnation and why? Who decides what behavior gets rewarded and what gets punished, especially since there are no moral categories? How can there be a “who” to all this when God is a “what,” an impersonal force like gravity? How can an impersonal force help you in your relationships, heal your hurts, illnesses and wounds, help with your addictions and bad habits, lead you to confront social evils, poverty, crime, corruption, broken families, broken hearts?
12. Will good or evil ultimately triumph?
C: The resurrection of Jesus proves that good ultimately triumphs over evil.
NA: These are only apparent moral categories, they don’t really exist.
13. Is there life after death?
C: Yes! In either heaven or hell. Our destination is based on our response to the person and work of Christ.
NA: Yes and No. Yes, in that you may have trillions of more reincarnated bodies to inhabit as you pay off your karmic debt before reaching enlightenment. No, in that once you’re enlightened, you will cease to exist, since you will have remembered you’re really an impersonal force that New Age thinkers call “God.”
The New Age Movement is intellectually and spiritually bankrupt. But, it is making Tolle and Williamson—and especially Oprah—a whole bunch of money.
Frank Pastore is host of “The Frank Pastore Show,” recognized by the National Religious Broadcasters as Talk Show Host of the Year in 2006. His program is heard on KKLA in Los Angeles 4-7 p.m. Monday through Friday. Contact Frank at Frank@kkla.com.
Just thought it was interesting the way it was broken down.
What's Bothering Oprah, Eckhart Tolle and Today’s New Age Thinkers
Frank Pastore
"The Frank Pastore Show," KKLA, Los Angeles
March 28, 2008
I have a few questions—but they are not about whether Oprah Winfrey, Eckhart Tolle or Marianne Williamson are good, smart and nice people. I’m sure they are. My concern is about the ideas they hold—since good, smart, nice people can hold false beliefs and be wrong about all kinds of things. Sometimes, even the most important things.
I have questions about their worldview.
A worldview is made up of the answers we give to life’s most fundamental and profound questions. It includes the answers we give to questions of philosophy, religion, ethics and theology. And they are questions that have been asked and answered by every culture in world history.
When comparing and contrasting religions, worldview categories are the most basic level of inquiry.
If you know a person’s worldview, you know a whole lot about them. Oftentimes, you even know more about their thinking processes than they do.
Right now, Oprah is co-teaching an online class with author Eckhart Tolle, based upon her current Book of the Month, his “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.” And, Oprah’s promoting a daily radio show on her XM channel featuring Marianne Williamson teaching from “A Course in Miracles.”
Both Tolle and Williamson are New Age thinkers. Oprah says she’s a Christian—arguing that she can reconcile “her” Christianity with what they’re teaching. If she’s a Christian, she’s an ignorant one, because Christianity is incompatible with New Age thought.
Here’s how the two opposing worldviews, Christianity (C), and New Age (NA), answer some of the most basic worldview questions. The New Age answers are ones that would be commonly held, though certainly not universal, as the belief system is loose, eclectic and unique to each individual adherent.
1. Why is there something rather than nothing?
Christianity (C): God created the universe at the moment of the beginning of time, matter and space. Big Bang cosmology and all modern science affirms this.
New Age (NA): The universe is beginning-less, endless, eternal.
2. Does God exist?—and is He personal?
C: Yes, God is personal, and the Bible teaches God is three persons sharing one essence, what Christians refer to as the Trinity. More specifically, God is tri-personal.
NA: Yes and No. Yes, God is an impersonal force that exhaustively fills every atom of the eternal universe: All is God, God is all, God is all of us and God is each of us. No, there is no personal creator called God who is outside of time, matter and space.
3. Who am I?
C: A creation of God.
NA: God.
4. How did I get here?
C: God created man with moral freedom and invited him to join the presence of the Trinity. But man exercised his freedom in rebellion to God, and now only through the work of the incarnate God and second person of the Trinity, Jesus Christ, can that severed relationship be restored.
NA: Through the infinite process of karma. As God, you are eternal, and have been reincarnating from object to object for trillions of years, and when you ultimately achieve enlightenment, and remember that you are God, you will then lose your individual sense of self and consciousness and become One with the One. (Remember, there is no personal God. God is a force. You must return to being a force.)
5. Why am I here?
C: The Westminster Catechism answers this question beautifully: The chief end of man is “to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” I am called to make a decision with eternal consequences: either accept or reject God’s offer of salvation in Jesus Christ. I am also called to help others make a correct choice; to advance the true, the good, and the beautiful; to fight evil and injustice; to work with God at reconciling the world to Himself.
NA: To pay off previous karmic debt gathered over trillions of years.
6. What is the meaning of life?
C: To glorify God.
NA: To achieve enlightenment.
7. What is the true, the good, and the beautiful?
C: God—and his goodness can be seen through his creation.
NA: Since there is no distinction between creator and creation, there can be no distinctions between true-false, good-bad, right-wrong, ugly-beautiful, or pain-pleasure.
8. What is the best life?
C: A life in the full presence of God.
NA: The life immediately before enlightenment, since you will no longer exist as a person once you remember you are God.
9. Who is the best man?
C: Jesus Christ, the Man who never sinned.
NA: “Best” is a nonsensical moral category.
10. Why is there evil, pain, suffering, and injustice?
C: The Fall. Man exercised his freedom in rebellion to God and these are the consequences.
NA: People are paying off their karmic debt. As God, we are responsible for the reality we create for ourselves through our thinking and choices. If we are suffering, it is because we are choosing to suffer. If we think differently we can alter the external world and create our own reality.
11. Why do bad things happen to good people?
C: We live in a fallen world with moral freedom. Evil and sin exist. Men hurt themselves intentionally and accidentally. Our hope is only in God who is able to bring good out of evil.
NA: Karma.
Karma and reincarnation have all kinds of fatal logical problems. Who started karma and reincarnation and why? Who decides what behavior gets rewarded and what gets punished, especially since there are no moral categories? How can there be a “who” to all this when God is a “what,” an impersonal force like gravity? How can an impersonal force help you in your relationships, heal your hurts, illnesses and wounds, help with your addictions and bad habits, lead you to confront social evils, poverty, crime, corruption, broken families, broken hearts?
12. Will good or evil ultimately triumph?
C: The resurrection of Jesus proves that good ultimately triumphs over evil.
NA: These are only apparent moral categories, they don’t really exist.
13. Is there life after death?
C: Yes! In either heaven or hell. Our destination is based on our response to the person and work of Christ.
NA: Yes and No. Yes, in that you may have trillions of more reincarnated bodies to inhabit as you pay off your karmic debt before reaching enlightenment. No, in that once you’re enlightened, you will cease to exist, since you will have remembered you’re really an impersonal force that New Age thinkers call “God.”
The New Age Movement is intellectually and spiritually bankrupt. But, it is making Tolle and Williamson—and especially Oprah—a whole bunch of money.
Frank Pastore is host of “The Frank Pastore Show,” recognized by the National Religious Broadcasters as Talk Show Host of the Year in 2006. His program is heard on KKLA in Los Angeles 4-7 p.m. Monday through Friday. Contact Frank at Frank@kkla.com.
4.04.2008
My Journey, The Packets
Okay, I think this is part 3 of my journey ... you know, the one where I leave my babies & go back to teaching full time.
I've done much since last posting about this but NOTHING really has transpired.
I've sunk approx 5 hours into this process. And am hoping it pays off big.
For those not real familiar with the getting-hired-to-teach process, you must have a FILE established at each desired district. The file usually consists of your resume, your references (their minimum set amount), at least 3 letters of recommendation (one being from your former principal), your transcripts, & your certificate.
Just getting those things together, making the adequate amount of copies, & mailing those out, THAT'S a job in & of itself.
THEN... (and I did this very first thing), you must have an online application on a site called MOREAP.net (for MO). It's an online database of all teachers looking for employment. Administrators can go there to access & pull off your info, print it out, etc. Also, some districts (seeminly 'belonging' to REAP or who have registered with them) can put a post that they're hiring for a particular position, so I've checked this daily.
To fill out the info questions, the essay questions, your preferred methodology, etc., takes close to an hour.
It would be great if all districts used it & didn't have their own cotton-picking applications.
But they do.
Three of the districts I'm interested in have their own PAPER applications that you must either pick up from their C.O. or print from their website. Each of those took about 30 mins to complete.
Then, about three districts have their own online application with similar questions, that you must fill out.
There's also a gallup "Teacher Insight" test you must take online. It takes over half an hour & three of the districts required I go to their website & complete that.
And all that is just the paper part.
I haven't even begun calling & harrassing people yet.
Since I know several teachers & the inside & how this all works, I'm all too familiar that it's just a crap shoot. You can't just create a teaching job for someone. A district might think I'm the 'cat's pajamas' but unless they have an opening, my file will just sit in their HR dept for the next year.
I hope my timing was perfect though, as my last batch went out yesterday & usually districts require their teachers to return contracts the 2nd week in April.
Then there's the knowledge that I might not be hired 'til the first day of school, like Jeff was. Or the second week of school, like my friend Amy. Both whom are awesome teachers and LOVE their jobs & districts.
So I have to be content & learn patience if that's how things go for me. Not an easy pill to swallow when you're trying to decide on care for your kids or have a garage full of boxes of teaching 'stuff', just screaming to be put back into a class.
I've said this before, I am NOT not not not a laid back person (I wish I was!). I do not, never have, sat back & let life happen. If it doesn't happen or quick enough, I jump in & turn the wheels to speed the process.
This process has no wheels for me to turn. I literally am helpless & have no control. What a lesson for me to learn.
A lesson about not only patience (which I don't have), but trust. Trusting God
Isaiah 40:31 "...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
& learning to wait.
Psalm 62:5 "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him."
I've done much since last posting about this but NOTHING really has transpired.
I've sunk approx 5 hours into this process. And am hoping it pays off big.
For those not real familiar with the getting-hired-to-teach process, you must have a FILE established at each desired district. The file usually consists of your resume, your references (their minimum set amount), at least 3 letters of recommendation (one being from your former principal), your transcripts, & your certificate.
Just getting those things together, making the adequate amount of copies, & mailing those out, THAT'S a job in & of itself.
THEN... (and I did this very first thing), you must have an online application on a site called MOREAP.net (for MO). It's an online database of all teachers looking for employment. Administrators can go there to access & pull off your info, print it out, etc. Also, some districts (seeminly 'belonging' to REAP or who have registered with them) can put a post that they're hiring for a particular position, so I've checked this daily.
To fill out the info questions, the essay questions, your preferred methodology, etc., takes close to an hour.
It would be great if all districts used it & didn't have their own cotton-picking applications.
But they do.
Three of the districts I'm interested in have their own PAPER applications that you must either pick up from their C.O. or print from their website. Each of those took about 30 mins to complete.
Then, about three districts have their own online application with similar questions, that you must fill out.
There's also a gallup "Teacher Insight" test you must take online. It takes over half an hour & three of the districts required I go to their website & complete that.
And all that is just the paper part.
I haven't even begun calling & harrassing people yet.
Since I know several teachers & the inside & how this all works, I'm all too familiar that it's just a crap shoot. You can't just create a teaching job for someone. A district might think I'm the 'cat's pajamas' but unless they have an opening, my file will just sit in their HR dept for the next year.
I hope my timing was perfect though, as my last batch went out yesterday & usually districts require their teachers to return contracts the 2nd week in April.
Then there's the knowledge that I might not be hired 'til the first day of school, like Jeff was. Or the second week of school, like my friend Amy. Both whom are awesome teachers and LOVE their jobs & districts.
So I have to be content & learn patience if that's how things go for me. Not an easy pill to swallow when you're trying to decide on care for your kids or have a garage full of boxes of teaching 'stuff', just screaming to be put back into a class.
I've said this before, I am NOT not not not a laid back person (I wish I was!). I do not, never have, sat back & let life happen. If it doesn't happen or quick enough, I jump in & turn the wheels to speed the process.
This process has no wheels for me to turn. I literally am helpless & have no control. What a lesson for me to learn.
A lesson about not only patience (which I don't have), but trust. Trusting God
Isaiah 40:31 "...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
& learning to wait.
Psalm 62:5 "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him."
2.22.2008
Inviting You Along My Journey
There's change beyond the horizon for the Perrys. I write this must more positively than I previously thought of it.
When the discussion began, I was a mess. I was so scared for Flynn. But I prayed. And we prayed. And we tried to trust. And we asked more people to pray. And we trusted some more. And I'd like to say that I've 'given it over to God'.
You see, when I married a teacher, it was pretty much assumed that this would always be a two-income family (& I don't just mean his two jobs). And to tell you the truth, I was never one of those girls who esteemed to be a stay at home mom. I had nothing against that lifestyle, it was just never a goal of mine. I worked pretty hard at earning all my degrees & by golly, I'd use them.
Then we had Flynn. And we found out she had such a severe allergy. And when I realized that not only could she die if accidentally handed the wrong milk, or snack, but for crying out loud, if her neighbor at the day care table spilled his milk, she'd have a reaction from that as well; well, you would be right by assuming this made me panic.
When I went back to work when Flynn was a baby (6 mos), before we knew of her allergy, poor Grammy was watching her when she had - what was probably her very first anaphylaxis. Only, we had no clue. None of us knew a thing about food allergies. And when Grammy gave her a bottle, of breast milk mixed with formula (I was in a week-long conference & couldn't pump as much as this baby drank), her eye swelled, she began a series of sneezes, wheezed, then vomited more than she drank. After that, she went right to 'sleep' & slept for hours.
We had no clue.
So, when it just got too hard to get family to watch her, here & there, (along w/ a gamut of other complaints about the job), we decided I would just stay home & babysit.
I did stay home & babysat, for the next two years (which I did until one year ago, exactly, to the day). Along with being on staff at church, which I still am. I also sell some things on eBay when I can. Sold all our college textbooks & any other book we finish or that is collecting dust. I do any odd job that pays enough, I use coupons & rebates, I gladly accept hand-me-downs & cast-offs, & when the warm weather hits, you can find me every Saturday morning (before the sun rises), at every 'good' garage sale in the area.
Do I like doing these things? Meh, not really. Do I need to do these things? Yep.
For the last four years, our life has been a series of being broke, barely making it, & having to be content with the bare bones (by the way, there is nothing wrong with living with just the necessities, I almost like it). It's been wondering if there'll be enough in the account to cover the bills that are due. Or even conversations like, "Don't buy anything until payday, even gas." A few weeks ago, I had to take cash from my wallet, to deposit into the checking account so a bill would pass through.
It gets old I tell ya.
I've had to do lots of praying for contentment & have also had to force myself not to wallow in pity. I had to fight back the thought that we've worked hard for our educations, are currently paying for those educations, and why, by golly, do we have to struggle.
But you know what? It has been worth the struggles. Not only has this scenario lent itself to the reassurance that Flynn is in a safe environment each & everyday, is here in case something happens (so that we can rely on my judgement rather than a daycare teacher's), but I've had this sweet, precious opportunity to be here, almost everyday, & have seen every inch my babies have grown. I heard every grunt, every sound, some days - to my distress - every cry. I never had to wonder if the babysitter just didn't tell me that Gabe took his first steps, so I'd think when I saw them later that evening at home, that I'd witnessed his very first step. I never had to wonder if Flynn's diaper was changed often enough, or if she had to cry herself to sleep at nap, if she was sat in front of a tv all day, or if the toys she played with were germ laden.
And when one of the kids was sick, Jeff & I didn't have to stress or argue about "Can you take off this time? I took off last time."
I got to be in MOPS. Flynn has had play dates. And story time at the library. Gabe has gotten to run the roads with me while Flynn is in preschool. The kids have gotten to dictate their own schedule, stay in their pjs 'til late morning, bake muffins for breakfast, play with their own toys, take naps in their own beds, and when they've gotten hurt - or been sick, it's momma that's there to comfort them.
I say all that in order to thank God again for the last four years of bliss. It was a gift I never asked for & sometimes those are the best gifts. A surprise in a package.
But last month in a series of bad snippets of news (called reality) - combined with a burning desire to move within the next 18 months, we had to once again reevaluate the situation. Anyone who doesn't believe that God literally provides can take a look at our finances. We have a ton of debt. You know that commercial where the guy displays all his cars & his home, then says through his teeth, "And I'm swimming in a sea of debt"? -- that's us. We're certainly not being irresponsible right now in our lifestyle. But, like I said, five years ago, we never dreamt we'd be a one-income family. And the medical bills - oh the medical bills. Flynn's on about four meds per month, me three, Jeff two. Gabe, thankfully, just hits the vitamins.
Somehow, we have $1,000 more going out, than in. How does that work? I really don't know. But it does. And we never miss a bill. We never starve. We always pay our tithing. And we never manage to miss a birthday or leave anyone out on Christmas.
So, we decided it was time. It was really really time. And with tears in our eyes, we considered a decision that for four years now we've shuddered at.
Are we all of a sudden lowering our standards for Flynn's safety & care?
No, sirree Barbara.
However, we've happily given thought that perhaps her sensitivity has slightly decreased. Along with how overjoyed we've been with her new preschool & how safe & loved she's been there. The fact that, hey, that situation has worked out -- maybe other situations could work out. Not to mention, they do have an extended day & by golly, I trust her teachers!
Do I have a clue how this will work out? Nope. And, being the control freak, planner, need to know right this very minute how the next year of my life will be... well, this not-knowingness, it's downright killing me.
But this I know, in the book of Matthew (in the bible), it says this:
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Hey, read that again in my current favorite version, the message:
25 -26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
27 -29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
30 -33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
So, the journey has begun, along with I'm sure - the good variety of emotions I'll no doubt experience -- as I make this transformation from Life & Times of Life at Home to Life & Times of Life Wherever.
In lieu of a ticket, this ride will only cost you prayer. For me. For the job God has in store for me. For Flynn's safety when she's in someone else care. For ease in Gabe's transition from being with the Momma he loves, to learning to love someone else 10 hours each day. Pray that our home will be harmonious despite the change in atmosphere (& atmospheric pressure). And although many many homes are lovely & wonderful & work perfectly with mom at work all day, it will be different here. Just different. But I hope better. There will be less stress.
I will journal my journey. And this is entry one. And if you've read this far, congratulations...
When the discussion began, I was a mess. I was so scared for Flynn. But I prayed. And we prayed. And we tried to trust. And we asked more people to pray. And we trusted some more. And I'd like to say that I've 'given it over to God'.
You see, when I married a teacher, it was pretty much assumed that this would always be a two-income family (& I don't just mean his two jobs). And to tell you the truth, I was never one of those girls who esteemed to be a stay at home mom. I had nothing against that lifestyle, it was just never a goal of mine. I worked pretty hard at earning all my degrees & by golly, I'd use them.
Then we had Flynn. And we found out she had such a severe allergy. And when I realized that not only could she die if accidentally handed the wrong milk, or snack, but for crying out loud, if her neighbor at the day care table spilled his milk, she'd have a reaction from that as well; well, you would be right by assuming this made me panic.
When I went back to work when Flynn was a baby (6 mos), before we knew of her allergy, poor Grammy was watching her when she had - what was probably her very first anaphylaxis. Only, we had no clue. None of us knew a thing about food allergies. And when Grammy gave her a bottle, of breast milk mixed with formula (I was in a week-long conference & couldn't pump as much as this baby drank), her eye swelled, she began a series of sneezes, wheezed, then vomited more than she drank. After that, she went right to 'sleep' & slept for hours.
We had no clue.
So, when it just got too hard to get family to watch her, here & there, (along w/ a gamut of other complaints about the job), we decided I would just stay home & babysit.
I did stay home & babysat, for the next two years (which I did until one year ago, exactly, to the day). Along with being on staff at church, which I still am. I also sell some things on eBay when I can. Sold all our college textbooks & any other book we finish or that is collecting dust. I do any odd job that pays enough, I use coupons & rebates, I gladly accept hand-me-downs & cast-offs, & when the warm weather hits, you can find me every Saturday morning (before the sun rises), at every 'good' garage sale in the area.
Do I like doing these things? Meh, not really. Do I need to do these things? Yep.
For the last four years, our life has been a series of being broke, barely making it, & having to be content with the bare bones (by the way, there is nothing wrong with living with just the necessities, I almost like it). It's been wondering if there'll be enough in the account to cover the bills that are due. Or even conversations like, "Don't buy anything until payday, even gas." A few weeks ago, I had to take cash from my wallet, to deposit into the checking account so a bill would pass through.
It gets old I tell ya.
I've had to do lots of praying for contentment & have also had to force myself not to wallow in pity. I had to fight back the thought that we've worked hard for our educations, are currently paying for those educations, and why, by golly, do we have to struggle.
But you know what? It has been worth the struggles. Not only has this scenario lent itself to the reassurance that Flynn is in a safe environment each & everyday, is here in case something happens (so that we can rely on my judgement rather than a daycare teacher's), but I've had this sweet, precious opportunity to be here, almost everyday, & have seen every inch my babies have grown. I heard every grunt, every sound, some days - to my distress - every cry. I never had to wonder if the babysitter just didn't tell me that Gabe took his first steps, so I'd think when I saw them later that evening at home, that I'd witnessed his very first step. I never had to wonder if Flynn's diaper was changed often enough, or if she had to cry herself to sleep at nap, if she was sat in front of a tv all day, or if the toys she played with were germ laden.
And when one of the kids was sick, Jeff & I didn't have to stress or argue about "Can you take off this time? I took off last time."
I got to be in MOPS. Flynn has had play dates. And story time at the library. Gabe has gotten to run the roads with me while Flynn is in preschool. The kids have gotten to dictate their own schedule, stay in their pjs 'til late morning, bake muffins for breakfast, play with their own toys, take naps in their own beds, and when they've gotten hurt - or been sick, it's momma that's there to comfort them.
I say all that in order to thank God again for the last four years of bliss. It was a gift I never asked for & sometimes those are the best gifts. A surprise in a package.
But last month in a series of bad snippets of news (called reality) - combined with a burning desire to move within the next 18 months, we had to once again reevaluate the situation. Anyone who doesn't believe that God literally provides can take a look at our finances. We have a ton of debt. You know that commercial where the guy displays all his cars & his home, then says through his teeth, "And I'm swimming in a sea of debt"? -- that's us. We're certainly not being irresponsible right now in our lifestyle. But, like I said, five years ago, we never dreamt we'd be a one-income family. And the medical bills - oh the medical bills. Flynn's on about four meds per month, me three, Jeff two. Gabe, thankfully, just hits the vitamins.
Somehow, we have $1,000 more going out, than in. How does that work? I really don't know. But it does. And we never miss a bill. We never starve. We always pay our tithing. And we never manage to miss a birthday or leave anyone out on Christmas.
So, we decided it was time. It was really really time. And with tears in our eyes, we considered a decision that for four years now we've shuddered at.
Are we all of a sudden lowering our standards for Flynn's safety & care?
No, sirree Barbara.
However, we've happily given thought that perhaps her sensitivity has slightly decreased. Along with how overjoyed we've been with her new preschool & how safe & loved she's been there. The fact that, hey, that situation has worked out -- maybe other situations could work out. Not to mention, they do have an extended day & by golly, I trust her teachers!
Do I have a clue how this will work out? Nope. And, being the control freak, planner, need to know right this very minute how the next year of my life will be... well, this not-knowingness, it's downright killing me.
But this I know, in the book of Matthew (in the bible), it says this:
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Hey, read that again in my current favorite version, the message:
25 -26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
27 -29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
30 -33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
So, the journey has begun, along with I'm sure - the good variety of emotions I'll no doubt experience -- as I make this transformation from Life & Times of Life at Home to Life & Times of Life Wherever.
In lieu of a ticket, this ride will only cost you prayer. For me. For the job God has in store for me. For Flynn's safety when she's in someone else care. For ease in Gabe's transition from being with the Momma he loves, to learning to love someone else 10 hours each day. Pray that our home will be harmonious despite the change in atmosphere (& atmospheric pressure). And although many many homes are lovely & wonderful & work perfectly with mom at work all day, it will be different here. Just different. But I hope better. There will be less stress.
I will journal my journey. And this is entry one. And if you've read this far, congratulations...
1.07.2008
LUV
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)
That scripture was provided by my verse o' the day on my side bar...
over there (imagine arrow).
I've been thinking lots. About my personality. My demeanor (sometimes vicious if I may confess).
The fact that I've always prided myself on my honesty, frankness, crudeness, (do I have to keep going?).
First of all, it's not that great to be prideful about anything...but especially those things. yikes.
What must I give up, for God to work in my life?
Read yesterday's post. I was angry. I wanted revenge. Granted, my feelings were valid, and I felt responsibility for my family, but why couldn't I just go to sleep & let it go?
Do I love enough? Let me say, my life oozes with love. I don't need to mention again how much I love my husband. And I love my kids so much it hurts. And you wouldn't believe how much I love all children. The kids at church, I'd do anything for.
And I love food too, in case you hadn't noticed.
But do I live a life of love?
Do I? Really?
So, do I show love everywhere I go? All the time? To everyone? EveryONE?
I think what I make the mistake of doing, pretty commonly actually, is pick & choose what I want to obey out of the bible. You know, the easy ones, like not killing people (altho I considered it yesterday morning, see previous post), and going to church (kinda my job), oh yah-and the one about not fornicating -- I don't do that. But what about the hard ones... like loving. Oh boy, just talking about the changes I need to make ... I'm starting to squint my left eye up like a pirate.
But self, this is not optional.
And if there was one thing that Jesus did all the time, to everyone, all of the time, it was love.
7.04.2007
FREEDOM
The kids made a flag this morning. As I showed Flynn a 'real' flag, I felt the need to explain what it symbolized. I told her about the stripes & stars & what they each represented. When I was trying to explain the concept of states (remember, just a year ago, Flynn thought we lived at Home Depot), I thought I'd best explain it by, "We live in Missouri, but people like us live all in other states. Mommy has a friend in Texas."
"I have a friend named Alex."
I could see I wasn't really getting anywhere.
So I started talking about freedom. I told her that in America, we're so lucky because we can do all sorts of things & get to have a lot. I pointed to the backyard, at the plethera of playthings, "In some countries, little girls like you don't have things to play with outside. Some can't even play outside."
That kinda struck home with her.
"But why?"
"Because, it's not safe."
It got me thinking...
We aren't rich, by any stretch of the imagination. As a matter of fact, I'd be willing to wager that we fall in the lower bracket. There's a lot that we can't afford to get; even what some people consider basic stuff like cable, electronics, a tv from this decade, etc.
But there is so much we have....
We get to get up on a Sunday morning & go to church.
We get to go to the doctor, one of our own choosing (with a lot to choose from!!).
Then, we're able to go get medicine.
We have a slew of stores to choose from, as we grocery shop, with coupons I might add.
There are parks, safe ones, that we can have fun at.
There are garage sales, and hand me downs, and great things that other people don't need.
There are libraries, where we can enjoy literature, and No David (my fav) board books.
We have two vehicles (well, the bank owns them, but are letting us pay them for the cars, and letting us care for them and ride in them).
We can go on a vacation, drive across the country, and not have to pass a border or explain ourselves to someone who could just deny us our trip.
We don't just have enough, we have plenty.
And, if we were by chance born in another country, one without the fine things & opportunities that ours offers,
Flynn might not have lived when I gave her the wrong cookie.
Do you think Ethiopia has epi pens?
Would I be able to get a cortisone shot in Zimbabwe?
If Flynn was born prematurely in Nairobi, would she have lived? Would I have died of a preclamptic stroke?
My prayer is that I remember those things, when I start foolishly feeling sorry for myself because we live check to check. Or when I groan as I adjust our "rabbit's ears antenae", as we're only able to receive 4 channels. Or if our current state of flat broke means forgoing next year's vacation or declining on invitation to join someone for dinner.
Blessed beyond measure...
2 CORINTHIANS 4:
7However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves.
8We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;
9We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed;
10Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting to death that the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [[a]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies.
11For we who live are constantly [experiencing] being handed over to death for Jesus' sake, that the [[b]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be evidenced through our flesh which is liable to death.
12Thus death is actively at work in us, but [it is in order that [c]our] life [may be actively at work] in you.
13Yet we have the same spirit of faith as he had who wrote, I have believed, and therefore have I spoken. We too believe, and therefore we speak,(B)
14Assured that He Who raised up the Lord Jesus will raise us up also with Jesus and bring us [along] with you into His presence.
15For all [these] things are [taking place] for your sake, so that the more grace (divine favor and spiritual blessing) extends to more and more people and multiplies through the many, the more thanksgiving may increase [and redound] to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day.
17For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!],
18Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting.
Thank You God for our freedom & for the plenty.
"I have a friend named Alex."
I could see I wasn't really getting anywhere.
So I started talking about freedom. I told her that in America, we're so lucky because we can do all sorts of things & get to have a lot. I pointed to the backyard, at the plethera of playthings, "In some countries, little girls like you don't have things to play with outside. Some can't even play outside."
That kinda struck home with her.
"But why?"
"Because, it's not safe."
It got me thinking...
We aren't rich, by any stretch of the imagination. As a matter of fact, I'd be willing to wager that we fall in the lower bracket. There's a lot that we can't afford to get; even what some people consider basic stuff like cable, electronics, a tv from this decade, etc.
But there is so much we have....
We get to get up on a Sunday morning & go to church.
We get to go to the doctor, one of our own choosing (with a lot to choose from!!).
Then, we're able to go get medicine.
We have a slew of stores to choose from, as we grocery shop, with coupons I might add.
There are parks, safe ones, that we can have fun at.
There are garage sales, and hand me downs, and great things that other people don't need.
There are libraries, where we can enjoy literature, and No David (my fav) board books.
We have two vehicles (well, the bank owns them, but are letting us pay them for the cars, and letting us care for them and ride in them).
We can go on a vacation, drive across the country, and not have to pass a border or explain ourselves to someone who could just deny us our trip.
We don't just have enough, we have plenty.
And, if we were by chance born in another country, one without the fine things & opportunities that ours offers,
Flynn might not have lived when I gave her the wrong cookie.
Do you think Ethiopia has epi pens?
Would I be able to get a cortisone shot in Zimbabwe?
If Flynn was born prematurely in Nairobi, would she have lived? Would I have died of a preclamptic stroke?
My prayer is that I remember those things, when I start foolishly feeling sorry for myself because we live check to check. Or when I groan as I adjust our "rabbit's ears antenae", as we're only able to receive 4 channels. Or if our current state of flat broke means forgoing next year's vacation or declining on invitation to join someone for dinner.
Blessed beyond measure...
2 CORINTHIANS 4:
7However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in [frail, human] vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from God and not from ourselves.
8We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;
9We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed;
10Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting to death that the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [[a]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies.
11For we who live are constantly [experiencing] being handed over to death for Jesus' sake, that the [[b]resurrection] life of Jesus also may be evidenced through our flesh which is liable to death.
12Thus death is actively at work in us, but [it is in order that [c]our] life [may be actively at work] in you.
13Yet we have the same spirit of faith as he had who wrote, I have believed, and therefore have I spoken. We too believe, and therefore we speak,(B)
14Assured that He Who raised up the Lord Jesus will raise us up also with Jesus and bring us [along] with you into His presence.
15For all [these] things are [taking place] for your sake, so that the more grace (divine favor and spiritual blessing) extends to more and more people and multiplies through the many, the more thanksgiving may increase [and redound] to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day.
17For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!],
18Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting.
Thank You God for our freedom & for the plenty.
6.13.2007
Monkey Butts
I got these photos from my friend Lynn, who took them at the zoo last week.Lynn is funny. She & I met at Missouri Southern State my first semester there.
Our first conversation was about poop... it's no wonder if you know either of us, that upon hearing that topic, we knew we'd be good friends.
She lives in Texas now with her hubby & cute boy & we've managed to keep in touch for over 10 years now. I was delighted to see these disgusted photos on her Instant Messager & immediately asked her to send so I could share with you....
Aren't you glad??
The good thing about monkeys?
They just don't care. They have a neurotic, retentive need to pick bugs off each other...and they don't care who's watching. This picking is their nature & I'd imagine that when God made them with this habit, He did so under the pretense that they wouldn't be stuck behind a pin or sheet of glass with humans watching their hiney-picking.
Well, I guess He knew that'd be happening, being He made the universe, knows the future, and all that other omniscient stuff.
Anyway, these primates are kinda cool like that if you ask me. Not the bobo-scratching stuff (well, maybe that too), but the ability to keep doing what they're supposed to, despite the fact that people are watching in disgust (or in my case, delight) at what they're doing.
Everyday, everywhere, people are worried about what other people think. Individuals feel the need to do or not do according to what a family member, a friend, or even a stranger, thinks they should be doing (or not doing)...
I'm pretty sure there's only one person we should worry about pleasing.
It's not the group of people watching us from the other side of the zoo glass.
Now you know how I love my hot hubby & my kids (so cute they could win a contest)... and you're wondering why they wouldn't be grouped into the ONE I should please. But the truth is, that all falls under the 'God umbrella', in that if I'm working on pleasing Him, I'm most likely pleasing them. Since the bible is full of stuff like, taking care of your kids, respecting your husband, etc.
I'm glad... that the person I was made to worship (the being rather), cares about all that stuff.
Remember that, the next time you see a baboon inspecting the hemorrhoids of another baboon.
And only I could somehow turn monkey butts into talking about God.
5.12.2007
You've Outclassed Them All!
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!
Proverbs 31:25-31 (The MESSAGE)
5.02.2007
Clouds
Deuteronomy 33:26 "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun,
who rides on the heavens to help you
and on the clouds in his majesty.
27 The eternal God is your refuge,
27 The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
(these were taken from the backyard)
This is called 'God's Hands', someone sent this one to me.2.28.2007
Praises & other things...
God has performed yet another miracle. My aunt, whom I requested your prayer for back in October, who had 50% of her cells being cancerous (multiple myeloma, one of the worst!!), had a bone marrow biopsy done Friday. The results were made known to her on Monday...
SHE IS CANCER FREE! Now 0% of her cells are cancerous!
How awesome is that??
Some people go through their life not seeing any miracles (or not realizing that they're seeing the miracles), but my aunt gets to BE a miracle....TWICE. What a living testament.
I was cleaning the refrigerator the other day. It was completely filthy...dried crusty pickle juice, kool aid, juice, various fridge cheesery, you name it. Nasty. But I had always put it off as it's hard to empty everything & have it sitting around & having a 1 & 3-year old climbing all over you while you are spraying really strong cleaner.
So, we need food & the fridge was fairly empty & I knew it would be a good time.
So, I sprayed the kitchen antibacterial multi-purpose cleaner. And as I wiped the clear glass shelves off, the fridge seemed even dirtier. I rubbed & scratched on that dried pickle juice, only to expose more filth & the underside of the glass, which had gunk on it I didn't even know existed.
So what started out as me just wiping the tops of glass shelves transformed itself into an even bigger job.
As I wiped & saw more & more filth, I thought of the process of our transformation with God. When we ask Him to cleanse us, it might seem to us that we're just a little bit dirty. But as He sheds His light on us, we're made aware that it's more than just a bit of sin. As that bit of sin is washed away, we begin to see the things that were hidden, some jealousy, a bit of unhealthy competition... maybe some hautiness. And then you see back where the crisper is, maybe a tad of self-righteousness has dripped down, you see a little bit of self-reliance is stuck in the crevaces.
I've been a Christian most of my life, but I'd say that in the past year I've started to see my sin as it really is. Things I struggle daily with... somedays I might overcome them & the other days where I lazily refuse to deal with them.
In Corinthians, Paul tells the church that he dies daily. I'm no bible scholar (& you'd think after a yr & 1/2 of bible college, I might know exactly what he means by this) but I know that Paul had lots of struggle & I believe he refers to putting himself under submission each day.
I always liken everything to food (see my previous post wherein I eat a whole thing of bubble gum ice cream in 2 days time), so for me, forcing my body under submission could mean not becoming a glutton. For some, it's going a day without picking up the phone to call someone & gossip. For others, it'even worst (of course, sin is sin, so me using the word worst there is strictly objective).
But isn't it rather cool that we're able to be cleaned? That in our Christianity beliefs, we're lent this ability to pray directly to God & are forgiven, cleansed & handed tools (Holy Spirit, prayer, bible, other believers, etc.) to deal with our downfalls. And through those tools, we rub & scrape at that dried pickle juice, until we see a gleam.
Now....
on to my oven.
SHE IS CANCER FREE! Now 0% of her cells are cancerous!
How awesome is that??
Some people go through their life not seeing any miracles (or not realizing that they're seeing the miracles), but my aunt gets to BE a miracle....TWICE. What a living testament.
I was cleaning the refrigerator the other day. It was completely filthy...dried crusty pickle juice, kool aid, juice, various fridge cheesery, you name it. Nasty. But I had always put it off as it's hard to empty everything & have it sitting around & having a 1 & 3-year old climbing all over you while you are spraying really strong cleaner.
So, we need food & the fridge was fairly empty & I knew it would be a good time.
So, I sprayed the kitchen antibacterial multi-purpose cleaner. And as I wiped the clear glass shelves off, the fridge seemed even dirtier. I rubbed & scratched on that dried pickle juice, only to expose more filth & the underside of the glass, which had gunk on it I didn't even know existed.
So what started out as me just wiping the tops of glass shelves transformed itself into an even bigger job.
As I wiped & saw more & more filth, I thought of the process of our transformation with God. When we ask Him to cleanse us, it might seem to us that we're just a little bit dirty. But as He sheds His light on us, we're made aware that it's more than just a bit of sin. As that bit of sin is washed away, we begin to see the things that were hidden, some jealousy, a bit of unhealthy competition... maybe some hautiness. And then you see back where the crisper is, maybe a tad of self-righteousness has dripped down, you see a little bit of self-reliance is stuck in the crevaces.
I've been a Christian most of my life, but I'd say that in the past year I've started to see my sin as it really is. Things I struggle daily with... somedays I might overcome them & the other days where I lazily refuse to deal with them.
In Corinthians, Paul tells the church that he dies daily. I'm no bible scholar (& you'd think after a yr & 1/2 of bible college, I might know exactly what he means by this) but I know that Paul had lots of struggle & I believe he refers to putting himself under submission each day.
I always liken everything to food (see my previous post wherein I eat a whole thing of bubble gum ice cream in 2 days time), so for me, forcing my body under submission could mean not becoming a glutton. For some, it's going a day without picking up the phone to call someone & gossip. For others, it'even worst (of course, sin is sin, so me using the word worst there is strictly objective).
But isn't it rather cool that we're able to be cleaned? That in our Christianity beliefs, we're lent this ability to pray directly to God & are forgiven, cleansed & handed tools (Holy Spirit, prayer, bible, other believers, etc.) to deal with our downfalls. And through those tools, we rub & scrape at that dried pickle juice, until we see a gleam.
Now....
on to my oven.
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