THE Question

We have had us a girls' night, that's for sure. Gabe is with Daddy at a boys only church fun night & we've been taking advantage of the interruption-free evening.

We enjoyed a tea party, with chocolate soy milk instead of tea. And rather than biscoti, we devoured some blueberry bagels, bread-sliced.

After Flynn did her breathing treatment, she decided to make a "face" (pictures forthcoming. what? you don't believe me? I always say that? Then the pictures never forthcome? okay, you're right. but this time I promise.)
So, we make a face. Complete with feathers & jewels, this face has apparently been bedazzled.

So, I saunter over here to the computer while Flynn finished her garden grean beans. And, out of the clear blue, she says it.
Lord help me. My little girl, only four years old, just asked me THE question.
You know the one.
Those words that you hope you won't hear for a long long time.
And when they do come out, you cringe & twitch & time seems to stand still.

"Mom...how does womens get babies into their tummy?"

A look of terror must've come over my face. I felt beads of sweat form on my scalp. She was looking right at me.
"Um. Eh. Um. Well. Uh...."

She wouldn't look away! Look away! Give me a chance to think of something!! 'God help me. Let your annointing fall on me & inspire me to give an answer. Just something.'

That didn't work.

So, I started praying that Jesus would return. 'Please Lord -- right now is a good time for you to split that sky open & make known of Your glorious return.'

That didn't work either.

"Um. Eh. Well. You see."

She didn't see. She just kept looking at me. And in the four years I've known her, she has never shown such concentration. She's never had such an attention span.

"Well. God puts the baby in the mother's tummy."

She still stared at me. She knew that wasn't all there was to it. She could smell the fear emitting from my pores. She wanted the real answer, the goods.
But she's only four & she doesn't need the goods.

"Whenever Daddy & I knew how much we loved each other, we prayed to God that He would bless us with a baby. And we showed each other how much we loved each other" (and really, that's pretty racey right there).

I looked up at the wall, hoping she'd look at the wall too. And then she wouldn't be looking at me anymore.

WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO TALK ABOUT? I'm a pretty honest person. Possibly the most direct person in North America.

But, she didn't look at the wall. She wanted clarification. I really don't think four-year olds need clarification, but apparently she felt like she deserved all the details. Lord help me.

"But Mom, how does the baby get into the mommy's tummy?"

You know, I don't think I knew these details 'til I was like at least seven years old & even then, I think I was too young to handle such truth. I really wanted to tell her that when a woman is at least thirty & is a virgin, never having known a man, she marries the man God has destined for her to be with FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE, then they, being financially stable & with a perfect relationship, ask God to bless them with fruit of their loins. Then, without any type of fertility issues or clomid or progesterone, are magically inpregnated.
But, that's not exactly the case.

Her eyes never left the side of my head, they just began to bore a hole in it. So, I gave in. I turned to her & prayed that I wasn't sharing too much & that this wouldn't land her in therapy.

"The baby is as small as a seed & is made in the tummy when the Mom & Dad show their love to each other."

I mean, I really didn't think I'd give her that much honesty. But, she threw me off-guard. I definitely didn't think we'd be having this conversation so early in her preschoolhood.

"Oh."

And she went on to humming & picking at her green beans.