Danskin meets WWF

This is part 2 of a video I was taking wherein my cheesy camera couldn't handle more than a 1 minute video. So I had to restart.

It was all going fine & dandy...er, fine & graceful when I guess it was too much daintiness. Then my girl up & slams down on her knees, upon the pedistal ottoman where she dances.

Then she ends the clip with a curtsy (kind of).

Call it interpretive dance.

Child Labor Rules!

Which contradicts Child Labor Laws.

(by the way, I meant 'Rules!' as in it totally rocks)

Give the girl a wet wipe & watch her go.

She knows the kitchen is off limits as that could mean drops of dairy which could be ultra dangerous!

Gabe is a good 'picker-upper'; but that's the limit of his cleaning abilities.

He also tends to get distracted (like me) & will go to put one car away in the 'car basket' & I'll look over to see him picking out a new one to play with. Um, Gabe, that's not how it works.

But I see myself doing that too. I will go to put something away, only to be side tracked by something in that room. And, before I know it, I'm looking at an old box of cards from my 16th birthday. No kidding, that happened the other night.

I hope it's not just fun for them. I hope they're learning a bit of responsibility & perhaps a glimpse of how hard it is for Momma, when others aren't doing their part!

I [heart] Thursdays

Conversations about Heaven

The other day, Flynn & I had a pretty intense conversation about HEAVEN. I think she's actually excited about going. Right now, how we came about conversing with such a mature topic, escapes me.
She asked if we just lay there & 'sleep' at the hospital, after we die.
"No, I'm pretty sure right then & there we go to heaven."
"So, does Jesus come down & get us?"
"I'm not sure....maybe an angel escorts us up there."
She squealed (a strong fondness of angels).
"So, the angel takes us up throught the clouds?"
"Yep, and there you wait for the other people you love to join you. So, if Momma were to die first, I'd wait there for you....and dad...and Bubs...."
"So, if I die, I wait there. If Bubby dies first, he waits there."
"Yep." (altho, not thrilled with thinking about such things).

"Flynn, heaven is going to be so wonderful. Guess what? In heaven, you WON'T be allergic to ANYTHING!!"

She got a huge grin on her face. All the while, I'm praying that she gets to experience such freedom BEFORE heaven.

"Do we have to die to get to heaven?"

"Probably. BUT, there is a chance that you'll be here on earth when Jesus comes back for everyone. And everyone here on earth, still alive, will have the chance to go back with Him...to heaven...if they have Him in their heart. You do, right?"

"Yes."

I didn't get into the whole splitting of the clouds...the trumpet....the graves opening. I figured, that was all a bit heavy for her four year old mentality.

But, we did talk a lot about the clouds.

Doctor Do-Little

UPDATE: We had him tested for cow's milk, at 12 mos & it was a false positive (thank God). He's had two allergy appts - one at 1 yr, the other at 2 yr bday. Both times, both allergists said he's not currently suffering from either of the A's. Thank God. But I do think it's interesting that he got a breathing treatment last night & quit coughing & fell right to sleep.

Gabe, donning the specs of Read (Flynn's latest build-a-bear)

Gabe got a cold on Good Friday. A few days later that cough began. For the following month, he has had a pretty bad cough, off & on. About two weeks after the cough began, I called the pediatrician's office, who offered to 'call out something for the cough.' I'm all about keeping the kids comfy, but am not thrilled about just putting a band aid on the problem. So I declined & did what I hoped would help.

Last week, his coughing escalated & by mid-week, he'd spiked a fever. I called the pedi-office, where I 'asked' for him to be seen. As I posted last week, we were sent onto have x-rays done, which were clear & negative for pneumonia. On the phone, the phone nurse from the dr's office, gave me the results & then recommended I treat the fever. No antibiotics.

That kind of surprised me; I figured if we needed an x-ray, we'd need some antibiotics. But, I trust the dr very much, & didn't argue it.

But, after he ran a temp all day Friday. Sat early morning. Then, again Sunday night, I've really been concerned. He has to be losing weight, he is not interested in eating most of the time. I can almost get one meal out of him each day. All morning with Papa, he just wanted to lay in Papa's arms. And THAT is rare when his favorite person of all time, Papa is here. Then, he fell asleep just a few hours after waking, & ended up sleeping over 4 hours. Now, the boy loves his naps, but doesn't usually love them 4 hour's worth.

Whatever this is, doesn't appear to be contagious. I've accidentally exposed him to others(unknowingly) several times. And over this month-long illness, not one of us has succumbed to what he has.

So, here I sit, hearing him cough his head off while he tries to sleep. Sometimes the cough sounds like he's getting something up; sometimes it's high in tone & almost squeaky. This past month we've tried triaminic, dimetapp, children's mucinex, rx-robitussin, rx-bromfed, humidifiers, showers, warm apple juice, avoiding dairy, propping him, praying for him. Jeff & I have just now decided to use Sissy's nebulizer to give him an albuterol treatment (totally diagnosing & medicating him OURSELVES) to see if that will help him at all.

If tomorrow is anything like today, I will call before the office closes to set an appointment for the following morning. If they don't want to see him, perhaps we'll be trying out a new practice. A month is too long to put up with being sick.

So, say a prayer for my sick skinny boy, that he'll get some relief & sleep cough-free tonight. And won't see another virus til NEXT flu season.

It's Not Gabrielle

I mean, maybe I wouldn't be so sore if Gabrielle was the original form, you know, GABRIEL, the messenger of God?!
Or, if it was indicative of his gender, right there, in his file.

Or could it because he's a he being referred to as a she?
Maybe that's it, cuz I don't get sore when people think Flynn is a boy's name. Then again, I expect that.

X-ray Vision

Gabe's x-ray is hanging on our patio door so that the sun can shed light on his bones & some of his organs. We think it's pretty neat. And at least once each day, I can see one of the kids standing & staring at it. Sometimes Flynn will ask what the different bones are.

Each time any of us have an X-ray or any test with film, I always ask for a copy. As long as they have what they need for their records, they don't need it. They might act like they mind, but since I send it to school w/ Jeff to share with his students, it's all in the name of education.

Plus, it makes for pretty cool keepsakes.

We've had one of the more exhausting weekends that we should be used to now. The kind where we get up early in the morning & don't come home all day because we'd just be home a few hours & have to turn around & trudge back into 'town' to be at another obligation - in the name of saving gas, money, energy, & time. Our sanity is sometimes sacrificed by living in the far outskirts of the city - where most of our activities take place. We now know that the money we saved on our house payment is eaten up by expensive gasoline prices.

Tighty Whiteys

We're trying.

He's trying.

to be DIAPER FREE in '08!

I Felt the Earth Move Under My Feet part deux

Last night wasn't the only time I've felt the earth shake. And when Jeff told me it was only rain & wind, that was enough to convince me to go back to the comatose state I had just gotten into after checking on Gabe's temp at 3 am.
Little did we know just two hours away, a pretty sizable earthquake was making the charts.

It got me thinking, would I know what to do in the event that it did more than rattle our windows & cause our frames to be less than straight?
Turns out, I wouldn't have a clue, I took this quiz & failed miserably. I guess all that training back in high school (thanks to Nostradamus' big scare) was only stored in my short term memory bank. And stop, drop, & cover is all I remember.

Wish They All CouldN'T Be California Girls

Mattie (moving), Vanessa, Hannah (moving), KK (moving)

because we want them to be Missouri girls forever.

My BIL, my sister, & my 3 loving/free-hearted/beautiful/clever/witty/smart/sweet/caring/Jesus-loving/babysitting nieces are moving away in two months.

Not just moving mind you, but moving as far away as possible, without driving off into the ocean.



I'm trying to talk a big game, you know, about the great opportunities, about a fresh start, about them getting to be less than an hour from the beach...

but inside I get a bit nauseous everytime I think about that Accord getting packed down & heading west.

I also get sad thinking about my kids growing up without those 3 around, laughing at them, tickling them, swinging them around, & teaching them how to play Red Rover the old fashioned dangerous way. And I'm equally sad as I know how they light up a room just walking into it & how their sincerity is beyond their years.



And you don't have to know me personally to know that my sister is my BF. It'll be weird being further away from her than thirty minutes. I haven't been far from her since coming home from college in '97.



But changes are in view for everyone. God knows what He's doing.



And -

I think my sister heading out of town might have something to do with her not giving her 6 hours of work from the weight loss contest she lost to me six months ago.

A little extreme, I admit - but some people will do anything to get out of cleaning someone's refrigerator.



Okay, okay Angie, I'll make you a deal. You guys call off this whole moving thing & I'll forget about the hours you owe me. Just like that. Blank slate.

I personally think I'm being generous.

Also Worth Noting

That Gabe, who has fought a cough off & on for a few weeks now, starting coughing again this morning. That alone didn't stand out in my mind except by the time I was ending a morning meeting, he crawled up in my lap & I noticed he had a fever. I figured that between the two, I should take him 'in'.

The pediatrician didn't like the 'sound of his lungs' & sent us on to get chest x-rays. Because you know, her co-pay wasn't quite enough of a spend today. But, since he's had this cough so long, I obliged & leaned over him on the x-ray table, bracing his shoulders -- with a smiley face protective apron on.

We found out before leaving there, that his x-ray was 'negative'; thank God.
Enough excitement for the day...
for the week!

Things Worth Mentioning

• I mentioned before that CURIOUS GEORGE & his 8 am show, are a priority here at the P house. I typically turn the TV off after the show ends, not to be turned on again until the kids are in bed, so I think it's worth a watch. Plus that monkey is so dang funny. Just now, while Gabe was watching (because Sissy is at school), I could hear the show. From what I could gather (not actually seeing it), George was waiting for The Man with the Yellow Hat to finish up his speaking engagement (TMWTYH is a very smart occupation of some kind, maybe an archaeologist? A scientist?) wherein he was saying a lot of smart things that were apparently over George's head & no doubt to be boring for the intended audience; therefore, rather than watching TMWTYH say what he actually said, he said, "Blah biddy blah, blah blah. Blah diddy boo." And then the crowd applauded. Don't you think that's funny? (or is it starting to get to me that I rarely interact with potty-trained people?)
• Yesterday, I was drying my hair. Flynn had to stand next to me during this as she had already hit her brother twice during my grooming. I guess she figured she'd strike up a conversation while she was in there (which meant my 15 minute hair drying took twice as long since I had to keep turning oFF the drying to say, "Huh?"). So, the topic of the morning was her allergic reaction the previous night. We evaluated it, she recollected details (some of which I thought she was "out of it" for), and we decided that even though Benadryl can be a life saver, the Jesus is the ultimate life saver. She abruptly ended the conversation by saying, "Mom, I'm going to go pray now. Really quiet." Now, how could I not discontinue my hair drying & go try to spy on her communing with God?! I snuck down behind her where I spied her standing at the side of my bed, leaning over it (it's too tall for her to kneal at). There wasn't a slow or quiet moment. I couldn't hear much, when I got too close the floor creaked & she looked to see if someone was there - and I was not about to interrupt her prayer time. "Dear God. Will you help me to not be sick? I want to be better. I don't want to itch. I don't want to cough. Thank you God for helping me......." I couldn't hear the rest. But she was all business. And when I heard her wrapping up her time with the Lord, I high-tailed it back to the bathroom where I pretended to be finishing up my post shower activities. I tried to act cool, but inside I was a pool of proud momma mush. And because my girl knows to take it to God, I'm not quite as worried today while she is at school & I am here, 25 minutes away.
• Gabe pottied again last night on the pot. Our warmer temps are here, I have no more excuses. As soon as I get my act together, we will begin POTTY NAZI here. Sans pants & potty seats everywhere. He will fill up a chart & 'earn' a model plan to paint with daddy.
• Daddy's soccer season is half way finished. Not that I'm counting games & crossing them off with a big black marker or anything.
• Flynn is earning an elephant sewing kit. I decided that enough was enough with her pottying while sleeping at night. I want to be Diaper Free in '08! So, she too is filling out a chart. 10 "E" stamps on her chart & she will be Seamstress FJ. She is so excited about the project. Granted we were up at 1 this morning, stripping her sheets & cleaning her up (we wouldn't have even known that she was sopping wet had the neighbors not awoken us with slamming doors & general loudness). I'm hoping the promise of the new craft will make her more forgiving when we carry her half-concious limp body into the potty at midnight to prevent an accident.
• Tomorrow is Friday & Sunday is supposed to be 73. How could that not make me smile?

It's Probably My Fault Again

note: My sis just told me that the mona vie w/ the green label (which is what I have) contains shelfish. That could be it.

With nothing else to think about, I've been mulling it over & over in my mind, just what in the world my girl had a reaction to!

The Acai berry is one of the most nutritious and powerful foods in the world... nature's perfect energy fruit... so I've started drinking Mona Vie, thanks to a generous distributor who has just GIVEN me my 2nd bottle.

Yesterday, a little of the juice got on Flynn's straw (from a cup), which was drying on a nearby towel. I thought nothing of it, the drink is natural, dairy free, & nothing but berries/fruits. So I rinsed it well, in hot water, & sat it back on the towel to dry.

She drank from that cup at 9 pm at bedtime. At 10:45 pm she was in the middle of her reaction. Her allergist just told me this morning that most food allergy reactions happen right away - usually within 2 hours. And that he felt strongly that she had had a viral reaction. ?? I think he's a wonderful doctor & agree with most things he says, but not this. I truly think she had a reaction to one of the fruits in the mona vie.
And once again I've nearly killed my child.
Mother of the Year?

Thank you for most who have asked how she is. Much better...well enough to pick fights with her bubby. Last night, while she slept had night terror after night terror, I did lots of web surfing & got much info. I have to thank God again for His blessings of everything always turning out okay (there's no eloquent way of saying it).

So, now we will be sure that she avoids acai, apricot, aronia, acerola, purple grape, passion fruit, camu camu, banana, lychee fruit, nashi pear, kiwi, pomegranate, prune, wolfberry, pear, bilberry, cranberry, blueberry, white grape. Must've been one of those fruits.

I Don't Know What People Do...

Who don't cry out to God.

I just wonder what they do when they're holding their sick child.

I am super thankful to serve a God who hears & answers prayers. It's lonely to think of not calling out to Him in times of trouble.

As of late, I've been out as soon as I sit down in the recliner or when my head hits the pillow. Tonight, that was at the miraculous time of 9:30. So, at 11 pm, I was smack dab in the middle of a REM. That's when Jeff yelled for me.

He was standing over Flynn in her bed, her 'overhead' light was on, & she was screaming, rolling around, & scratching furiously -- at about 50 patches of hives.

First of all, I had put my glasses on upside down, yes that's possible. So, when I got my bearings straight, I squatted down next to her bed & started barking orders.

One order was benadryl chewables. Thank God it's now made in this form. Except, it's really hard to open. And, I gave her 2 instead of 1. But, had we ended up in the ER, she would've gotten another antihistamine shot, so I didn't figure she was overdosed.

But, she was still in agony -- it's almost like when she has reactions, the itching is 'internal' & she's in torture. So, we used 1/2 a tube of benadryl cream on her spots. And if that stuff is absorbed into the bloodstream, she might end up sleeping for days.

Then, stripped down, we continually assess her hives. Are they less red? Are they going away?
And we check her breathing. Make sure she's not swelling. Check her pulse to be sure it's not slowed down enough for blood pressure to be a concern.
Anything that would point toward anaphylaxis.

And I worry - and tell Jeff, maybe we should take her to the ER. But the decent hospital is half an hour away & I know that anything that 'needs' to be done would need to be done within that time frame.

We bring her in the living room to change her clothes, just in case she had a reaction to her pjs or bedding. And she reaches out for me & only wants me to hold her.
So I realize this is my opportunity to get a hold of her & really pray over her.

I asked God to help her of course, but to also help us because we had to make such crucial decisions.

I mean, sheesh, if we were talking about some hives or a rash, it's one thing. But to know that less than a year ago, she almost died. And we're trying to figure out if it was something she had eaten or something had touched her.
Then you run through, in your mind, all the things that could happen. If I don't take her to the ER. If I do.

And you ask God to please give you wisdom. And you rock & rock & pray & thank Him because He gives a peace that You know only comes from Him.

And before I realized it - she had stopped her flailing, her moaning, & she was calm.

Schwoo - thank You once again Lord.

And now, she sleeps here on the couch beside me so I can watch her breathe. And keep thanking God.

You've Got Mail

Flynn's new favorite thing to do is get the mail. I happily indulge knowing this saves me a trip to the mailbox. But I usually do stand in the doorway to ensure her safety.

Yesterday she asked early if she could get the mail. And once we heard the squeaky brakes of the mail jeep, she anxiously grabbed her crocks.

I asked, "Do you want Mommy to watch from the window, or the door?"

"The door."

And as I stood at the doorway, I reminded her at each concrete step, to hold the rail. She stepped high to cautiously look for the next step and as she reached the bottom, she chose her course. Rather than skip down the ferociously gruff driveway, to my relief, she ran across the grass instead. I couldn't but smile as her little arms stretched out like the wings of an airplane & I think I heard her say, 'Weeee.'
When she got to that big green mailbox & reached up to pull down the 'back door', nothing could detour her...except that is, for a dandelion. Which she spied & reached down to snatch up & retrieve back to me, "Here Mommm....here's a flower for you."
Even though the process was long & took much energy, she once again turned to go down those concrete steps & toward the mailbox.

The 'flower' was worth the second trip.

2 More Angels in Heaven

Feeling sad & sympathetic, reading about this family & this family .

It puts everything into perspective.

And makes me thankful.

Conversations between Mothers

"Momma, look! Look!" She shows me her make-shift cradle. "A baby has been born!!"

"Oh, can I see? What's the baby's name?"

"Her name is Polly!" (Polly?!)

"What a beautiful name. She's gorgeous."

"She's sleeping. And Snowball is her toy." (because I should have known Snowball would somehow be involved in the play)

**** Minutes later, I go out to get the trashcan from the center of the cul de sac, where the wind gusts have carried it. Flynn, panic-stricken, meets me at the door ****

"Momma! Momma! Polly is sick!"

"Oh no! What are her symptoms, what's wrong with her?"

"She has a fever."

"Oh goodness, how high is her fever?"

Much hesitation.

"Ten. Ten inches."

Update: In case you're worried about Polly, please know she has recovered. After a Strawberry Shortcake bathmit, placed on her forehead to bring down the temps, add to that a premeasured tylenol dose (an empty pulmicort respule saved from the recycling), she is fever-free & in great spirits!

The Journey, Part Tres

I've had some ask if I've heard anything since sending out my packets last week.
No I have not.
It's pretty discouraging to think about how at a given district, there might be 500 files, but 5 jobs. So, someone whose job it is, will choose 5 or so files to send to each principal, of those 5 jobs.
The principals then turn around & choose a couple of applicants out of the stack, who they think is worthy of an interview. Then, the hire someone. And that someone who gets hired, might not be a part of any of that process... it could be someone's sister, or a good friend's son, or the lucky recipient of a favor.
Basically, it's a crap shoot.
One particular district, well, the one I graduated from, is hiring. I see on their website that they have a handful of openings. I hear of one particular opening in the very school where I learned to do a cherry-drop from the monkey bars. I got so excited, thinking of teaching in the very building where I attended....not only that, but it would be also where my kids would attend. How great would that be?! And, a good paying district - to boot!
Okay, but how can I get a job there? I mean, it seems impossible.
I emailed the HR in charge of certified positions. I hear some pretty negative things about her & figure it's a shot in the dark -
-- break there -- Gabe pottied in his pants -- okay, I'm back--
It's a shot in the dark, but I figure, what will it hurt to at least email her.
So, I did indeed:

Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2008 4:27 PM
To: Cathy Power
Subject: current openings

Hi Cathy,

I was wondering if the Valley &/or *** Elementary openings have been filled?

I recently received the letter from ****wood, that you have all the necessary information items. Do you have any advice on anything else I could do?

I am really hoping to hear from someone soon.

Thanks Cathy,
Amy Wantsajob

She actually did email me back!:

Subject:RE: current openings
Date:Tue, 8 Apr 2008 17:38:37 -0500
From:"Cathy Power"
To: "Amy Needsajob"
Valley just closed today and they are reviewing files for interviews. E*** has been interviewing for 3rd, but I still have not gotten a recommendation.

Not exactly advice, or anything to run with. So, I find out E's principal & decide to email him. I know, kinda pushy, but I did. I wrote the usual, I'd love to work in your building, I think you'll agree I would be an asset to your building, etc.
That was 2 days ago & he didn't even have the decency to email me back!

The whole process could get downright discouraging, but I have to keep my faith & know that God's plan is God's plan, despite email replies or the politics of the whole thing.

Maybe next week, I'll be posting The Journey, Job Offer.
After all, faith is the substance of things UNseen & the evidence of things HOPEd for.

Dear Flynn,

When I get to tuck you in, we do your prayer, we say good night....sometimes there are nights like tonight, when you are so exhausted from all the fun you had, that you fall asleep before I can even cover you up.
Then, I look at your pouty lips, your dark hair flowing off the edge of your pillow; those long eyelashes, resting on your baby cheeks, and I feel sad...

that I wasn't patient enough today.
that I loaded the dishwasher instead of reading you another book.
that you always get the blame because you're older & stronger.
that tomorrow morning, you'll wake up early & head out the door & spend hours away from me.
that I am just not one of those mommas who have unending endurance for the normal age-appropriate mishaps, misbehaviors, fights with baby brothers.
and that instead of counting to ten, I count how many times "I told you..."
that you hear no more than you hear yes.
that you hear me angry more than you hear me happy.
that sometimes I'd just rather do what I want to do, instead of what you want to do.

I hope you'll forgive me.
Tomorrow I'll try harder.

Love,
Momma

I'm Competing

for computer time, that is.

With a girl who has a lovable polar bear named Snowball.

She loves to go feed her, buy things for her, toilet her, wash her,

and play games to earn money for all Snowball's goodies.