Monday Mumbling

Said with much sarcasm:

To the road crew, trimming trees on the road to the office: Thank you for making us sit & wait while the oncoming traffic came through & appeared to never have to wait, I appreciate being almost late for my meeting.

To Flynn's dance teacher: Honestly, I didn't put the tear in her $50 costume...so when you offered to sew it up & seemed ANGRY, that wasn't appropriate. The costume CAME THAT WAY, and although it might not take much for one of the grandmas to sew it, THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO, for crying out loud, anything for a four-year-old to wear ONCE, that costs $50, should not require my (or anyone else's) seamstress skills.

To the Easter Bunny: Thanks a lot, for all this candy. It's near impossible to diet when you're eating all your kids' candy so that THEY don't eat it because you don't give them candy.

To my metabolism: You suck.

To Flynn's allergies & asthma: You suck too. I am soooooooo worn out with worrying about Flynn when I leave the room. I am tired of wiping down counters like Jesus is coming to visit. And I am so over having to hover over her at parties & in group settings. I could puke I'm so tired of appearing to be an over-protective mother hen. And to the people who look at me, at parties & stuff, when I get out a container of a safe 'cake-alternative' (you know, so she doesn't die & stuff), like my child is spoiled & just doesn't like what everyone else is having, well, I say to you people, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. And if your mind is so lacking in thoughts of imporantance & your own affairs, perhaps you should go volunteer somewhere.
Or, try having allergies yourself.
That will certainly busy you.

To my neighbors: FOR THE LOVE OF CHRISTMAS, get the Christmas lights off your house, YOU BIG HOOSIERS. Did you know today is the last day of March? More than 3 mos after the said holiday.

To my small house: Grow up, would you?!

To United Healthcare: Have I pointed out to you that my son has used NO benefits this year? Have I mentioned that he's only had like 3 prescriptions in the 2.5 years he's been on this earth? That he's never been hospitalized, outside of his birth?
The mere fact that you refuse to pay for his speech therapy, is enough for me to come hunt you down & kick you in the throat.
Twice.

To the Chevy Dealership: I'm wise to your antics. When you can see that we're within 90 miles of the end of our dealership & you say that there's nothing you can do about our SERVICE ENGINE SOON light that keeps coming on, I can see you're doing your job. And I'm sure that that "squeaking" in our brakes really is NORMAL as you say it is. Because hearing squeaking when I put on the brakes really says safety to me.

To the rain: Enough already.

Said without sarcasm:

To my kids: Thank you for yelling my name before I even got in the door from my meeting. No matter how much the human race can sometimes aggravate me, I always know there are at least 2 humans who are always glad to see me.

To Flynn: Thank you for understanding when Gabe got new yogurt, ate it in front of you, and you didn't have any. You will never know how much Daddy & I appreciate just how understanding & mature you are about the fact that 90% of the world can eat what they want, and you will die if you indulge.
Thank you also, for the gymnastics-obstacle-course-show that you & Snowball put on for me.

To Gabe: Thank you for finally taking a nap. While I know you love your sister, the 'love' you guys show each other, does start to wear on me a bit. So I really appreciate you taking a little break from the action, to go recharge your little mind & body.
Also, thank you for standing at the top step with your skinny arms stretched toward me. It's the most welcoming sight when I've been gone all morning.

To my dad: You will never realize how much we've appreciated that you are the most reliable babysitter a person could ever have. The fact that you work nights, so that you can still babysit every Monday morning for us, is enough for me to build a bronze statue at Forest Park, in your honor. And the statue would be holding a mug of coffee.
When I clean up after you leave, and find paper after paper of coloring that you've done with the kids, it's enough to leave a smile on my face for the rest of the day.
It will be a sad day in two months when you babysit your last Monday to work days. Wherever we end up leaving Flynn in the fall, will never stack up to hopscotch, coloring, & lunch with Papa on Monday mornings.

To Jeff: Thank you for doing the sinkLOAD of dishes last night so I could finish my 'cleaning project'.
Also, thank you for taking on my ministry as your own & not complaining when you do as much as I do on a Sunday morning. Altho I have no doubt that many will be the gems in your crown in heaven, I hope to thank you enough here on earth.

To God: Thank You that we live in a country where things like trees hanging over roads are seen as a hazard.
Thank You that we can afford to put Flynn in dancing.
Thank You that there are many people in my kids' lives that love them enough to give them candy & spoil them on holidays.
Thank You for my body that is healthy enough for me to care for my family.
Thank You that You keep Flynn safe & with us through many scary experiences & for reminding us that You will continue to protect her.
Thank You that our neighbors are currently 'behaving' themselves & having awoken us in a while.
Thank You for our house that is comfortable, still fairly new & pretty maintenance-free.
Thank You that we have insurance, there was a time we didn't & that was pretty scary.
Thank You for our car & that You blessed us with very minimal bills in car maintenance.
Thank You for watering the earth.